[asherah]

I am finding myself becomming more and more "militant" on the subject of circ.

DS is intact.. and that was the first parenting decision I had to fight for.. and one of the few I have made that I feel 100-percent confident in.

I feel like I have to become more of an intactivist.

BUT I am not ready to walk away from long-time friends over the issue. I do think they made the wrong decision, but not because they are abusers or don't love their kids. I feel they were sold a bill of goods by our pro-circ culture. I get uncomfortable myself when people say things like that. I do not believe those who circ are setting out to abuse or "mutilate.." I think they are wrong, that is for sure... but I think the answer is education, not name-calling.

So I guess my issue is this:
How do I become more of an intactivist without alienating people or coming off as totally judgemental?

 

[Frankly Speaking]

Unfortunately, there are some people who just can't have a calm and rational discussion of circumcision. Forget that their son was born 50 years ago when the medical associations did recommend circumcision as the best thing since sliced bread. The simple statememt that circumcision is no longer recommended is seen as a personal attack against them. There is no way to deal with these people and most likely no way of changing their feelings. I have seen on other boards people that have been presented massive amounts of information and still go against the recommendations of hte best medical minds in the world. It is not a rational thought process for them and there is no way to effectively combat this irrationality with rational thought processes.

Frank

 

[somemama]

Well, I'm certainly not the poster child of not alienating or judging people. I have done that.

But, here are some things you possibly can do: (In no particular order)

Contribute to www.nocirc.org. (Or to www.noharmm.org) Put your money where your heart is.

Let your son KNOW, as he gets older, that his genital integrity is (and always has been) important to you. Don't let him think that his intactness is just some "choice" his parents made. (No one should have the choice to cut part of his body for no good reason.)

If you can afford it, go to Genital Integrity Week in Wash. D.C. (Usually the first week in April --Marilyn Milos at nocirc would have more infor for you.)

Leave circ. literature (such as the Mothering articles) at the doctor's office.

Donate a copy of What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Circumcision to your local library.

(You can get that book at www.overstock.com for about $8.

Give that same book as a gift to expectant mamas.

Gotta run. Good for you for keeping your son intact!

 

[Tinijocaro]

I keep a folder full of info- magazine articles, stuff from the internet, but I try to go to actual medical sites cause some people will believe nothing if it comes from the net. I mantion to people I know that it is not recommended and offer my folder. Some take it, and give it back without saying a word. I don't push the issue.

I also have business cards that give cirp.org's address and a couple choice snippets about it not being recemmended. I put those everywhere- pregnancy mags at the grocery store, doctor's offices, at the checkout, drop them in people's shopping carts....anywhere.

Last time I had to have checks reprinted, i had them print "Say No to Circumcision" and cirp's address.

My goal is to plant seeds, get people to wonder what all the fuss is about.

I have four kids under eight and that's about all I can do at this time. I really feel I'm making a contribution.

Jackie

Jackie

 

[asherah]

Thanks for the good suggestions.

It has really been an incredible personal evolution.
But I just think it has to stop.

 

[somemama]

I also.......make it a point to strike up conversations with pregnant women...and ask them if they are having boys!! I talk to saleswomen, etc.

Today I had parent-teacher conferences, and I talked to a pregnant mom (of one of my students) who is having a boy. She seemed really "on the fence" about the issue, and hopefully I pushed her fully into intact-land! (I hope). She thanked me for the information. I ended by telling her that I had an incredible sense of peace once I decided to leave my son intact.

And it's so true....still to this day (15 mo. later), when I hold my son, I feel that deep peace which comes from respecting his body and his soul.

I also bring up this issue as often as possible on other forums here at Mothering. (Parenting, TAO, etc.) For example, when one pregnant mama asked, "Are boys different?" (Meaning is the experience of raising boys different than raising girls), of course that was a perfect place for me to discuss leaving ALL of our children (boys and girls) intact.

 

[Gitti]

I don't ever walk past a pregnant woman without handing her one of the business cards I had printed up. It states:

Web sites for expecting Moms:
www.mothersagainstcirc.org
and Dads
www.cirp.org

Usually I walk up to them saying, I see you are expecting. I have something for you. And then I hand them the card. They take it and say thank-you. In the most friendly way I say, you'll be surprised how informative and interesting these sites are. You'll love them. By the way, Good Luck on your pregnancy. As I'm walking away I say a little prayer and hope for the best.....

 

[Xenogenesis]

Quote:

But I just think it has to stop.

Do you mean YOU think you have to end these feelings you are having?

 

[somemama]

Quote:

Originally posted by Last Minute Do you mean YOU think you have to end these feelings you are having?

I think she means that circ. has to stop.

 

[Tanibani]

Asherah, I feel the way you do.

My secret dream is to start a Circumcision info class locally (once I get really educated and the nerve up). Childbirth & breastfeeding classes are the norm. Circumcision information classes should be also. Wouldn't that be great?

My son is circ'd... biggest regret

of my life. That's why this issue is a real hot button for me.

Tinijocaro - I just had my checks reprinted and it reads "Circumcision Harms - www.cirp.org"

I just got the nocirc newsletter and read the snippet about the LLLI conference. I am so proud of them for trying to get a conference table. LLLI said yes, then cancelled

because Jewish & Muslim parents threatened to boycott.

I'm going to mail $100 to nocirc. And I'm going to write a nice, long letter to LLLI.