[triplembride]

it will be our first natural labor and delivery, and i have been so good about being prepared and ready and no one can talk me out of it etc... i've just been really up beat about it, that its going to be no big deal, etc...well now that its getting closer to the big event....i must admit i'm getting nervous! how will i ever do it? what if it lasts an un-godly amount of time, what if i'm a screamer and freak everyone out

ugh i'm just nervous!

why didnt i just stay with my ob, where i would go back to being a number with an induction date and an epidural

tell me its normal and everything is going to be ok

 

[~Katie~]

100% normal and you are 100% going to be okay! At one time or another I think we all have our freak out moments. While we cannot predict the future or the outcome, we can go into our birthing experience accepting it as a normal process and do our best to ensure that we birth in a positive, supportive environment that is conducive to achieving the kind of birth we want. Don't worry about how others will react to you during labor, your job isn't to reassure or perform for those people. Your job is to birth that baby and if that means moo'ing like a cow so be it. Your body and baby know how to labor and birth, so trust in the fact that you CAN do this!

 

[JamieCatheryn]

I'll share the really hard lesson I learned with my last one with you, it goes along with your fears a bit. Even if it's a really intense, long, and/or hard labor, it will still go on, all you have to do is be there. You very well may "lose it" especially toward the end, you may not have a handle on things at all, sometimes that's what it takes to let it happen. It takes surrender to open up sometimes, and that might come when you let labor win over you. It will go on, it will happen, and it will come to an end with a birth. No matter how you behave in labor you will still have been a success at it. It sounds scary but trust me this should reassure you as well.

 

[Full Heart]

Quote:

Originally Posted by triplembride it will be our first natural labor and delivery, and i have been so good about being prepared and ready and no one can talk me out of it etc... i've just been really up beat about it, that its going to be no big deal, etc...well now that its getting closer to the big event....i must admit i'm getting nervous! how will i ever do it? what if it lasts an un-godly amount of time, what if i'm a screamer and freak everyone out ugh i'm just nervous! why didnt i just stay with my ob, where i would go back to being a number with an induction date and an epidural tell me its normal and everything is going to be ok

You are def not alone on this one! Right down to the "Just induce me and give me an epi" part. I am having nightmares and panic attacks. And I have done this 7 times! Everything will be fine.

Once labor hits just tell yourself you have a job to do. Don't think about anything but getting through that one contraction. Don't think about how long labor has been or how long you have to go. Just get through that one contraction. Get your affirmations in your head so you have something to think about. I think how I can't hold my breath for 1 min, but I can get through a 1 min contraction.

Its ok if you scream and freak everyone out. You are the one in labor! You don't have to worry about their comfort levels when you are dealing with contractions and I would seriously just put the thought out of your head. It will distract you from your job.

You know honestly, I don't scream in labor. I am silent. And really I think it would be better if everyone was a bit freaked out. During my 5th labor, which was only 4 hours long mind you. I would put my head down during contractions and close my eyes. I would look up after one and everyone was asleep. The mw, dh, assistant, my mother. Made me so mad! Here I was doing all the work and they are asleep! Maybe if I was screaming I would have gotten a little support. Everyone always thinks I am fine cause I don't make noise. Really I am working hard to stay focused and relaxed. Just cause it looks easy doesn't mean it is. Maybe if I scream it would get through to them how difficult it really is. So maybe its a good idea if you do scream lol. Scream all you want. Scream for me too.

 

[Kelly1101]

I'm a little nervous, but mostly I'm trying to tell myself that it will be fine. And if it doesn't go perfectly, that will be fine, too.

I think right now I'm kind of walking a line down the middle...
I'm trying to be totally confident and smile, breathe, relax, tell myself that no matter how bad it could get, "this too shall pass..." it can't last forever.

I'm telling myself that I have nothing to prove to anyone, the only people who will be there (besides nurses, who I won't be focused on) are my mom and my husband, the two people I love and trust the most in the world, and they'll help me and support me no matter how it happens. I think that if I really hit a wall and need an epidural, I'll get one without feeling like I failed myself-- but I'm not going in with a "It's going to hurt so much, I'm so going to need an epidural!!!" self-defeating attitude. Women have done this for a long, long time, and I'm excited, and I can do this.

My mom had three babies with no drugs, and always said about labor "It's just a hard day's work." So I'm trying to take those words to heart.

Pretty much as long as I get to keep the baby afterwards, I'll be happy.

 

[Ldavis24]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelly1101 I'm a little nervous, but mostly I'm trying to tell myself that it will be fine. And if it doesn't go perfectly, that will be fine, too. I think right now I'm kind of walking a line down the middle... I'm trying to be totally confident and smile, breathe, relax, tell myself that no matter how bad it could get, "this too shall pass..." it can't last forever. I'm telling myself that I have nothing to prove to anyone, the only people who will be there (besides nurses, who I won't be focused on) are my mom and my husband, the two people I love and trust the most in the world, and they'll help me and support me no matter how it happens. I think that if I really hit a wall and need an epidural, I'll get one without feeling like I failed myself-- but I'm not going in with a "It's going to hurt so much, I'm so going to need an epidural!!!" self-defeating attitude. Women have done this for a long, long time, and I'm excited, and I can do this. My mom had three babies with no drugs, and always said about labor "It's just a hard day's work." So I'm trying to take those words to heart. Pretty much as long as I get to keep the baby afterwards, I'll be happy.

I like your mom!
My mom tried to tell me last weekend when I was visiting that if I didn't get an IV what if I went into a seizure and the baby and I died?!? I asked why I needed an IV and she said to stay hydrated to which I replied well why can't I drink something to which I got the seizure comment. I don't even know what that was about, hence she will not be in the room...

I totally feel the nerves now that it is getting closer. I go from supreme confidence to serious self doubt about 5 times a day. DH is great at offering reassurance every time I mumble something about being kinda scared. He is going to be a big help I think!

 

[Kelly1101]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 I like your mom! My mom tried to tell me last weekend when I was visiting that if I didn't get an IV what if I went into a seizure and the baby and I died?!? I asked why I needed an IV and she said to stay hydrated to which I replied well why can't I drink something to which I got the seizure comment. I don't even know what that was about, hence she will not be in the room...

IVs now prevent seizures?

Well, will the wonders of modern medicine never cease.

 

[Ldavis24]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelly1101 IVs now prevent seizures? Well, will the wonders of modern medicine never cease.

Here I was being all old fashioned thinking I could drink liquids to stay hydrated!!
How did we poor damsels ever fair without IVs and the machine that goes PING!

 

[triplembride]

i guess i am feeling that i have to "put on a show" because my sister in law is so negative about this whole thing that i'm out to prove her wrong i guess, she says well you needed an epidural for carrson what makes you think you wont for this one....and you'll be at home.....so i just keep trying to tell her things like there will be tons of different circumstances and things like that, but i guess somewhere in the back of my mind she is getting to me....she wont be here when i birth but still...my midwives have a 3% transfer rate so they dont give up easy, so chances are i'll have this baby at home no issue so i guess thats the bottom line....i guess who cares how the "show goes down"

 

[Ldavis24]

Quote:

Originally Posted by triplembride i guess i am feeling that i have to "put on a show" because my sister in law is so negative about this whole thing that i'm out to prove her wrong i guess, she says well you needed an epidural for carrson what makes you think you wont for this one....and you'll be at home.....so i just keep trying to tell her things like there will be tons of different circumstances and things like that, but i guess somewhere in the back of my mind she is getting to me....she wont be here when i birth but still...my midwives have a 3% transfer rate so they dont give up easy, so chances are i'll have this baby at home no issue so i guess thats the bottom line....i guess who cares how the "show goes down"

boo to your in law! What is it with in laws half the time!
Tell her to stick it where the sun don't shine and you are going to do it!...Why wouldn't she want you to achieve the birth you want? I don't get it sometimes

:...Like some women want to see you fail or something.

 

[Kelly1101]

Quote:

Originally Posted by triplembride i guess i am feeling that i have to "put on a show" because my sister in law is so negative about this whole thing that i'm out to prove her wrong i guess, she says well you needed an epidural for carrson what makes you think you wont for this one....and you'll be at home.....so i just keep trying to tell her things like there will be tons of different circumstances and things like that, but i guess somewhere in the back of my mind she is getting to me....she wont be here when i birth but still...my midwives have a 3% transfer rate so they dont give up easy, so chances are i'll have this baby at home no issue so i guess thats the bottom line....i guess who cares how the "show goes down"

Oh, geez.

What the hell does your SIL know about YOUR body and YOUR birth? Stop even trying to defend yourself to her, and just tell her to shove it (um, in a nice, friendly, loving family way...).

 

[twins+1]

I'm glad I'm not the only one worried. Last night I had such a stitch in my side from ligament pain and it hurt so bad! I was thinking "how will I get through labor if this hurts this much!". I've been talking to everyone about how I want a natural birth and no pain meds, that I don't want to let myself down. I think I can do it, but my mom and grandma both have said there WILL be a point when you think you can't go any farther, but you can and often its at that point that you're getting closer to the end. I'm glad we hired a doula - she will be busy.

 

[Kelly1101]

The best advice I got from lamaze class...

Once you feel like the breathing isn't working, you're losing your focus, and start hollering for an epidural... get them to check your dilation, because very likely you're already in transition, and there's no point in getting an epidural then anyway.

 

[lotus.blossom]

Second babies are a second chance!! I remember being so consumed with what I should be doing, how I should be acting, what the nurses were doing to me that I lost that instinctual thing. I was in my brain way too much overanalyzing the sounds I made whether i wanted to leave my room to walk because I'd basicly be in PUBLIC out of control!

(this sounds like a Home Birth commercial....sorry)

I am so excited about this labor because I will have zero inhibitions. I love and trust my midwives. They are like friends- we know so much more about each other than just my bp and my urine sample results! So its going to feel like a big (insane, intense, instinctual) party! If I wanna roll around in the front yard and whimper I can. Or I can sit on my own toilet in privacy. I can eat my own snacks and scream and swear if I want to! I feel way more capable to handle this labor than my last.

(for the first time mamas / hospital birthers- good reasons to stay home-sweet-home as long as you can!)

 

[triplembride]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 boo to your in law! What is it with in laws half the time! Tell her to stick it where the sun don't shine and you are going to do it!...Why wouldn't she want you to achieve the birth you want? I don't get it sometimes :...Like some women want to see you fail or something.

She is just WAY to out spoken...she often ticks people off cause she doesnt know when to stop talking

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelly1101 Oh, geez. What the hell does your SIL know about YOUR body and YOUR birth? Stop even trying to defend yourself to her, and just tell her to shove it (um, in a nice, friendly, loving family way...).

she knows NOTHING, i guess thats what i want to prove to her, that not only can i do it but i can make it look easy.....(lets hope so)

Quote:

Originally Posted by twins+1 I'm glad I'm not the only one worried. Last night I had such a stitch in my side from ligament pain and it hurt so bad! I was thinking "how will I get through labor if this hurts this much!". I've been talking to everyone about how I want a natural birth and no pain meds, that I don't want to let myself down. I think I can do it, but my mom and grandma both have said there WILL be a point when you think you can't go any farther, but you can and often its at that point that you're getting closer to the end. I'm glad we hired a doula - she will be busy.

eeek i know when i get a leg cramp and think the same thing...how will i ever make it through the real thing

Quote:

Originally Posted by lotus.blossom Second babies are a second chance!! I remember being so consumed with what I should be doing, how I should be acting, what the nurses were doing to me that I lost that instinctual thing. I was in my brain way too much overanalyzing the sounds I made whether i wanted to leave my room to walk because I'd basicly be in PUBLIC out of control! (this sounds like a Home Birth commercial....sorry) I am so excited about this labor because I will have zero inhibitions. I love and trust my midwives. They are like friends- we know so much more about each other than just my bp and my urine sample results! So its going to feel like a big (insane, intense, instinctual) party! If I wanna roll around in the front yard and whimper I can. Or I can sit on my own toilet in privacy. I can eat my own snacks and scream and swear if I want to! I feel way more capable to handle this labor than my last. (for the first time mamas / hospital birthers- good reasons to stay home-sweet-home as long as you can!)

i'm really glad we are staying home so i dont feel like i should be "performing" for someone, and i'm glad that i have my midwives to experience it with and my mother and my husband

thanks everyone for making me feel a little better about it....and for letting me vent about my SIL she is a piece of work for sure

 

[j_p_i]

My plan is absolutely to stay at home as long as possible before going to the hospital. Honestly I'm very much looking forward to giving birth. I'm nervous, sure, but the overwhelming feeling I have is excitement. Not just about having a baby afterward, but of the whole process of birth.

My mom will be at my birth, acting as my doula sort of. She had two births with no pain meds (but pitocin with both) and is extremely supportive of my ability to do the same. DH feels the same way, he's very supportive and we've already talked about how he'll remind me about how much I wanted the natural birth and keep me on track if I start feeling like I "can't" do it. Of course, my MIL told him I'll hate him for it (there's that in-law thing again!)

Luckily she's thousands of miles away so I'll just be surrounded with people who are as supportive of me as possible!

 

[Punchy Kaby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by triplembride i guess i am feeling that i have to "put on a show" because my sister in law is so negative about this whole thing that i'm out to prove her wrong i guess, she says well you needed an epidural for carrson what makes you think you wont for this one....and you'll be at home.....so i just keep trying to tell her things like there will be tons of different circumstances and things like that, but i guess somewhere in the back of my mind she is getting to me....she wont be here when i birth but still...my midwives have a 3% transfer rate so they dont give up easy, so chances are i'll have this baby at home no issue so i guess thats the bottom line....i guess who cares how the "show goes down"

Man

. Every time she comes into your head, come up with a positive mantra to say to yourself. Have you heard of EFT (emotional freedom technique)? YOu can find out how to do it for free on the internet. Maybe you could say to yourself "even though SIL(or yourself) doubts my birthing ability, I love myself and trust my body through the birthing process"

 

[Punchy Kaby]

Oh I just remembered one of the 'pain techniques' in Birthing From Within is to let thoughts come to your mind but to not let them be judgmental.

I am nervous too, I transferred from a birthing center to the hospital and got an epi last time. I think it is healthy to be nervous, keeps us humble.

 

[major_mama11]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelly1101 My mom had three babies with no drugs, and always said about labor "It's just a hard day's work." So I'm trying to take those words to heart.

Your mom sounds a lot like my mom!

 

[Kelly1101]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lotus.blossom (for the first time mamas / hospital birthers- good reasons to stay home-sweet-home as long as you can!)

No doubt...

I'm the least shy person in the world, so I'm not worried about being too nervous/self-conscious in the hospital (I don't care how many nurses see my butt--and, uh, whatever else-- and I'll holler if I want to, no problem. I may do it just to freak them out). But I know that I'm going to get snippy when I get there if someone tries to tell me to lay down, or to do this or that, or did my doctor really say I was "allowed" to drink water, etc., etc.

I joked to my sister that I was planning to enter the hospital pushing. Since I'm only a quick and never-traffic-filled 10-minute drive away, it's only a little bit of a joke...

Quote:

Originally Posted by triplembride eeek i know when i get a leg cramp and think the same thing...how will i ever make it through the real thing

Hehe, I've started doing my relaxation/breathing when I wake up with leg cramps, rotfl. It makes me feel silly as hell, but actually I think it helps me, and nearly makes me look forward to the leg cramps for the extra practice