[Limabean1975]

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here....last minute tips, support, I guess. My DS will be 3yrs5m when baby#2 is born (I'm 35 weeks now). DS has always been an avid nurser. Right now he nurses 3-4 times a day (morning, before & after nap), sometimes bedtime - DH puts him to bed though). He continued to nurse through weeks 14-31 or so despite my having NO milk. Now that there's colostrum, he's more enthusiastic. Sooo, I think it's a reasonable prediction that he will be one of those kids who goes nuts for baby-milk. Up until now, I've been looking forward to the new baby and while concerned for how DS would adjust, looking at the tandem nursing as a great way to help him adjust.
Now, all of a sudden, I don't know...I'm scared! I've really been hoping that things will be easier with this baby than with DS (he was high needs, I had low supply, lots of anxiety), better supply, me being more relaxed...but suddenly I'm thinking about the reality of tandem nursing and I'm worried!

 

[Limabean1975]

Anyone?

 

[pbjmama]

I'm not going to lie, it can be tough, especially in those first weeks. Set up any support you can and hang on for the ride. I'm glad I did it, I've been tandem for just over a year now.

 

[Limabean1975]

Thanks pbjmama...yeah, hanging on for the ride is where I'm at, I guess...it's not like I can change things at this point! Support...well, DH will be home for 2 weeks, then my mom will come stay for 2 weeks - my mom can be a bit, er, interfering, but she knows I plan to tandem nurse and hopefully will just be helpful with that (I'll have to give her some instructions though; I fear her trying to keep DS1 away from me, which would just not be helpful).

 

[Leah_R]

I do not have any experience to give you advice. I just wanted to say, good luck and it will be fine. I think before a baby comes we start worrying about all sorts of stuff that works itself out in the end.

 

[the_lissa]

I actually did not mind tandeming, though it got to the point where I weaned my daughter because I was done nursing her.

My big dilemma is whether or not to tandem this time. I don't mind tandeming. I think it made the transition smoother for my kids, but I'm getting to the point where I don't want to nurse my son and I think weaning now would be easier for both of us. So I don't know what to do.

I'm helpful, eh?

 

[Limabean1975]

Yeah, real helpful, Lissa!

Actually, it is - any responses are helpful, it's helpful just to feel out the issues with others.

I don't feel like I have a *decision* to make at this point - he is SUCH an avid nurser, that I know if I tried to wean him right now it would go badly, and even if it were successful, he would be upset & confused when baby is born and starts nursing. And of course there's always the chance that he'd totally surprise me, as children sometimes do, but I don't want to risk that kind of hurt on him!

 

[the_lissa]

Yeah I think how attached they are to nursing makes a big difference.

Have you guys talked about sharing when the baby is born and that the baby has to come first sometimes and he can help the baby learn how to nurse and that kind of thing? I think it will go well as long as he knows what to expect.

I also find nursing through pregnancy a lot harder than tandem nursing.

Though once you nurse a newborn again, your toddler seems like a giant nursing!

 

[Limabean1975]

DS *already* seems giant (he's big for his age and is 3yrs4months), I can only imagine it will feel like I'm nursing a MAN.

Yeah, I've talked to him about teaching the baby to nurse; and he's done stuff like had a stuffed animal nurse at the same time as him, at which point I take the opportunity to talk about doing that with the baby. BUt I have to say I've glossed over the talk about how baby will NEED the milk more than him. I'm just not sure how to say that without it being upsetting to him - in fact, he did get upset about it when I said somethign the other day - and he's never gotten upset regarding the coming baby before, so I really did not want to push the issue! He actually said, in response to what I was saying "but I don't LIKE chocolate milk and popsicles and pasta!!" Riiiiiiiight. (I was saying all the things he gets to have that the baby can't at first).
(*note to self: despite his saying that, should stock up on lots of chocolate milk soon!)

 

[the_lissa]

Aww that's cute about the chocolate milk, pasta, and popsicles. Having my daughter "teach" my son how to nurse made her feel very important and I think helped a lot.

 

[LianneM]

I have the EXACT same age difference, and actually the same situation with a very avid nurser despite no milk.

Tandem nursing has been the best thing I've been able to do for my son. Having a 2nd child is really hard - much harder than I expected. I cannot imagine dealing with all of it without nursing my older one. It has literally kept us connected and saved me so much trouble, even though there are certainly times it's a challenge itself.

One thing we talked about a lot before the baby was born was that the baby would bring the milky back - he was really excited to know it would come back, and he thanked her a million times when it came in for bringing it back! He also loved (and still loves - she is 10mo now) to nurse together. Usually we do that lying down, me facing her, and he climbs over me (this is referred to as up-milky while the baby gets the down-milky

)

Also, I ended up designating sides, which has been wonderful. I was concerned about making sure the baby had enough and could nurse first, but also wanted to be really careful not to push my son away "in favor" of the new baby. So I set her up on my bigger producer and he had the other one, and my supply has been just fine for both of them. It's really nice knowing she always has enough on "her side" and he can nurse whenever he wants to, also.

HTH some

Have you read Adventures in Tandem Nursing?

 

[Limabean1975]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LianneM Tandem nursing has been the best thing I've been able to do for my son. Having a 2nd child is really hard - much harder than I expected.

Ack, you're scaring me more!

I like the idea of talking to him some more about the baby bringing the milk back.

Not sure about designating one breast for each - DS has NEVER used only one breast at a feeding. It started out with me switching him back and forth as a strategy for low-supply issues, and continued form there - rarely just "two breasts" per feeding either, it was (and is) more along the lines of 10-15 or more "breasts per feeding". Switchy-switchy! I kind of think that the way my breasts produce & store & let down milk is not conducive to a one-breast-per-feeding style of nursing. I don't know, though.

eta: Yes, I've read Adventures...

 

[Carlyle]

Maybe having your son nurse will help you have a higher supply this time around? (Just to look at the potential positives

) Good luck!

 

[Limabean1975]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carlyle Maybe having your son nurse will help you have a higher supply this time around? (Just to look at the potential positives ) Good luck!

I'm hoping for that! I've heard a few stories of low-supply-first-time becoming oversupply-second-time!

 

[Gwen42]

Have you read Raising Your Spirited Child? It doesn't talk about nursing, but if your son was a high need baby, he's probably spirited. Of course you may not have much reading time right now!

Ds just turned 3yo & I'm 37wks. He's only nursing about once per day but I expect it to increase when the baby is born. I have a lot of concerns about having 2 kids, including tandeming . . .

 

[Limabean1975]

I read RYSC, but a long time ago. DS is...well, he's not the "easiest" child, but babyhood was much higher demand than now.

 

[mamarootoo]

oooooooh i feel your fear!

DD just turned two, but she's always been super high needs. she down to nursing about 8 times/24 hours, but i'm guessing new milk will take her back to pre-pregnancy nursing... 20ish times/24 hours.

i'm really starting to FREAK. OUT.

new baby will be here early (hoping to make it to 37 weeks... which would be MAY 6TH!!!) due to pre-e and asthma issues... and that's a lot sooner than i'd planned! lol... i was sure i'd still be hanging out in june!

here's the thing, though. i know it will be hard. i know that at some point i'll most likely want to stop. but i also know that this is what's right for DD, and i will do EVERYTHING in my power to make it work.

i am so grateful that DD kept nursing through pregnancy, even if i'm a little bit terrified about what happens next. i know that i am meeting her needs, and i know that i would walk through fire to continue to do so.

i'm not looking forward to the first 2 months or so, but honestly, if she wasn't still nursing i would be so much more worried about her.

mama. i'll let you know how it goes

 

[Limabean1975]

And I'll let you know if I get there before you...we're due at the same time! No reason to suspect early for me though.

 

[LianneM]

Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, but expectations are important, you know? I just wasn't prepared I guess

I'm sure all kids react to a new sibling differently, too.

I hope it goes wonderfully for both of you

 

[Limabean1975]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LianneM Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, but expectations are important, you know? I just wasn't prepared I guess I'm sure all kids react to a new sibling differently, too. I hope it goes wonderfully for both of you

Nah, I mean, I already have alll the fears about how hard it will be in place. I jsut prefer to delude myself and read posts about how EASY it is.