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First I just wanted to say how happy I am to have found this board! Thanks for just being out there all of you and sharing your experiences! It's good to know I'm not as alone as I feel in late ECing!<br><br>
(Forgive me if this drones on, but I'm new here, so here's a little background.)<br><br>
I've read Ingrid Bauer's book and LOVED every page of it. Unfortunately, I didn't learn of EC until dd was about 8 months old, so we were past the ideal start time. We started anyway, though, and did part time for quite a while - catching quite a few poops and pees with just a toddler seat on the big toilet. Erin got so excited when the poop would hit the water - big grin and claps, lol! Pees were harder, but doable sometimes. I went mostly by her signals (quite obvious with her) and by the clock if she hadn't signaled for a while. She wore CDs while we were doing this and we were still able to accomplish a lot anyway. I felt that even if we didn't achieve full independence early, at least she was familiar and unafraid of the toilet - the biggest hurdle in older toddler PTing from what I hear.<br><br>
Until a few weeks ago. Her signals started changing a bit and her biggest pee signal had started to become an obvious squat (instead of suddenly becoming still and quiet). I did a few bare bum sessions (no attempts to make to potty, just observing) and saw she squatted to both pee and poop. Aha! So we picked up a BBLP the next time we were in the city (we live on a farm) since it's nice and low to accomodate her new favourite position. She peed in it the very first try (that evening when we got home), to much praise and celebration of course, lol!<br><br>
The next day, I had a big project to finish (I'm a graphic designer), so hubby was in charge of dd for a few hours on his own while I was downstairs in my office. The next day when I tried to potty her, she fussed and fought and started to cry, wanting nothing to do with the toilet or potty. I left her alone after a couple more brief attempts that morning. I find out later that hubby (men... argh!) had figured that if a few potty-tunities are good, more must be better. He'd been putting her on the potty every 15 minutes nearly the whole time I was working. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: Plus, he'd make her stay there long past fussing and even crying some times. I was sooo angry! He said he just thought she should sit there until she "did" something. How could anyone think making a little toddler sit on a potty until she cried was a useful thing? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead">: So now, both the potty and toilet were evil places she wanted nothing to do with. We abandoned them completely for two weeks and went back to full time CDs.<br><br>
Which brings us to the present (Erin is 14 months old). She'll now happily sit on the toddler seat on the big toilet again, but the BBLP is still to be feared (perfectly fine for sitting her stuffies on, though, lol). However, she refuses to pee or poop on it. After a happy and relaxed toilet sit (up to five minutes or more sometimes), she wants down and within minutes eliminates on the floor. I've tried following with BBLP and trying to get it under her as she squats, but she'll just stop and hold it in until I take it away. Last night I even tried the toddler toilet seat on a towel on the floor while she watched a show. Nope. She didn't like that arrangement and instead sat in her little chair (a stable little plastic booster seat she lugs around and uses as her tv show seat to watch Veggie Tales, lol) and peed.<br><br>
So, I'm out of ideas and that's why I'm here. The books I have deal with ECing young babies and then skip to toddlers who have some ability to reason. I'm lost in that stage in the middle. The tips and advice for young babies don't work with an active toddler, but she's not speaking or reasoning yet, so the reward systems often used with PLing older toddlers don't work either. Both sides assume that if you get your timing right, you'll eventually catch a pee or poop and be able to smother the praise and use that as your starting point. But what if you ARE getting the timing right and they're holding it? What if hovering with the potty (or seat and towel) because you know they have to let it go eventually only serves to frustrate and upset them. How do you get to that starting point of positive association (pee/poop in the proper place) when you can't even get a lucky catch to start with? Right now I'm just making a big deal of sitting calmly on the toilet, which is going well now, but how do you go on from that?<br><br>
I'm just lost and ready to give up, but inside I'm not ready to let myself quit. I KNOW she can do this - she has lots of control (take <i>that</i> Brazelton). I didn't want her sitting in her waste for even a minute after reading Diaper Free. Her CDs are changed with every elimination. We use sposies when we're out (not often being on a farm) and when the CDs are in the wash, and even then I change her with every elimination (much to the entertainment and eye-rolling of friends and family). I want to do this so bad!! Aaaarrrrgh!! Please help!<br><br>
P.S. Sorry for the novel, but gawd it felt good to get that out! If anyone has any advice for not holding a grudge against dh for causing all this havoc in the first place, I'm up for that, too!
 

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I feel for you, my Dh have a way of making things harder for me most of the time! (But I love him anyway)<br><br>
We started Ecing ds around 5 months and even though I was only doing it part time, he was doing great and I would get every poo in the toilet. It was the BEST feeling not to have to change a poopy diaper for an entire month! Then I got the flu and dh took care of him for 2 days. I have not caught anything (pee or poop) since! He is 7 months now and really into crawling and standing and has absolutely no interest in going to the potty at all. He also no longer gives any obvious signals.<br><br>
I'm sorry I really don't have any advice, but I know how disappointing it is to see all of your efforts go sour. I've just given ECing a break and will try again in a month or two. Maybe your dc would take to the toilet better if she just takes a break from the routine for now. Also, maybe some books on going to the potty may help since she is a little older.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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I don't know if this is a good idea or not but this is what I do (DS is 12 months). I don't worry about whether pees/poops get in the right place. I focus on him being aware of what he is doing. I give him an opportunity in the sink. If he doesn't go then he gets some time on the bathroom floor before new CD. When he goes, wherever it is, I say the cue word & sign with my hand. I also cue when I go on the toilet. My theory is that he can learn proper location later (but I haven't tested this out yet). Lots of parents start out with the sink & I've never heard of a child that grows up & continue to pees in the sink & refuses to use the toilet. If I lived on a farm, I would probably have bare bottom time outside. Right now, ds often signs while he is going, but not ahead of time.<br><br>
On the subject of dh behavior . . I thought it was a good idea for dh to feed ds dinner. I would squirm as ds was obviously signaling he wanted food & dh ate & talked to me without looking at ds. Ds starts screaming & dh tries to feed him but by this time it's too late. Dh asks me what's wrong. I try to explain but the scenario happens again in a few days. All I can say is that at least dh is here & he's trying.
 
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