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Discussion Starter #1
Okay so minor vent and questions.<br>
Today ds started preschool I cried.<br>
I am majorly in the hole and nothing to tap into except my retirement fund.<br>
Am going to ask dad for some short term loan but he's overseas, my mom is also out of the country but my stepmom is cool and she should be helpful.<br><br>
But I just resent it all.<br>
I have no real 'safety net' My friends grandma's funeral was today I got 35 bucks in my account (that the kids hid my bankcard somewhere in the house) I can't go to it obviously it wasn't enough for bus fare never mind renting a car without a credit card (before they wanted $500 down as a deposit)<br><br>
I hate having to ask my dad but cashing in my retirement savings (a whopping 600 bucks after taxes probably 400) is a stupid idea... I can't even get overdraft I have no job...<br><br>
I am tired.<br>
I am spent.<br>
I just need someone to bring dinner over and put the kids to bed.<br><br>
My inlaws who couldn't see the kids until June (as they had to file their taxes BS) so they couldn't drive up until JUNE I find out came up and spent entire weekend with dh....and dh didnt' ask to see the kids. He's seen them 3 times in six weeks and the bastard was making motions about asking for 'more custody' but I have not said no once and he's only wanted to see them 3 freakin times? For about 10 hours total..their son is arrested for beating his wife with the kids at home and they haven't seen the boys since August. Now I find out she lies to me, is a couple blocks away and has no interest in her grandsons.... called once to tell me what great parents they were just after dh was arrested......sigh..and hasn't bothered asking if we have groceries...<br><br>
dh wanted to cut them off before he got arrested can I limit, control the visitation they have with my kids?<br><br>
My son just informed my me other son just got ahold of a permanent marker and I am too tired to care what the mess looks like now. My husband left me with all the bills the child support/spousal is adequate if I wasn't having to pay 2 months worth of the bills he didn't pay before he left.<br><br>
Sigh...<br>
and its starting to rain....<br>
oh well here's praying my dad can give me a small loan..
 

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HUGS!<br><br><br>
There is a federal grant that helps with housing, utilities and the like for the first month after a DV incident. (or at least there was 5 years ago... thank goodness) It does not matter what you have in income... but I think DV shelters are hesitant to tell people about it when they have an income. (look for it, it still might be able to help you)
 

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Discussion Starter #3
great to know except I am not in the usa <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
I also did get childsupport/spousal nailed down pretty quickly but stbxh won't give me a dollar more until his lawyer says so....
 

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It will get better. It will get better.<br><br>
Don't do any more than you have to right now. Stick with the DV people and see if they have any help for you, even if it's just a place to bring the kids for a while so you can rest. There are crisis lines advertised all over the internet; don't be shy about using them just to talk.<br><br>
Vent about your x-in-laws, feel the anger and bitterness, and know when it's time you'll let it go. You will. There's something broken in them that doesn't allow them to see outside their own skins, and unlike you, they're going to be forever held hostage to their son's misdoings. They will always ride in to pick him up, and will have to take the psychological beating of looking at realities and trying not to see. Lying like that doesn't make for happiness. And while you hurt for your dc, you also have the freedom to surround them with healthier and more genuinely loving people. Which you'll also do.<br><br>
Meanwhile, rest when you can. It'll get better.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
well I sucked my pride and asked my dad for a loan for 1500 bucks..<br>
I don't know why I feel like vomitting they so have it but still....<br>
I can pay it back in three months no problem...<br>
but I still feel sick and silly like they are in their early 60's I should be taking care of them (lol my dad is in Asia right now for a few months working still just for the adventure of it)<br><br>
I got the little guy into daycare every day for six months through the whole dv thing, my youngest is in school half days from 9-11:30 but he's an easy child at five he'll sit and watch a movie not that he should have to. I also have the gym on the corner that has $3 dollar an hour daycare and I have some left over coupons.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Vent about your x-in-laws, feel the anger and bitterness, and know when it's time you'll let it go. You will.</td>
</tr></table></div>
the thing I hate about the inlaws most is my time, thoughts and energy should be on my family not on the negativity that attacks us! But its a process and if it didn't bother me that would be worse as my brain might think they are normal!<br><br>
I am putting the kids to bed early starting at 7 so they are tucked in and bathed by 8pm and hopefully sleeping<br><br>
then I feel stupid for whining, like I have the house, my stuff, I am trying to pay the bills but so many mamas are only a fraction blessed than I am.<br><br>
Here's praying dad comes through as I may not get someone to bring over dinner but maybe if he does I could order a pizza one night... hopefully one that comes with chocolate cake..
 
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