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My advice- do not rush! In fact given how young your second child is I would wait until he is older and school aged. Alot of times parents want to have their kids when they are close in age to form better sibling bonds but what they forget is that having so many kids so close in age is lots of hard work! This happened with a friend of mine- she has two boys and a girl ages: 4,3 and 1 and this is what she wanted but it created resentment and depression and now she has decided no more kids even though she wanted another.

So give yourself time and enjoy the ones you have right now. See how things go after a year or so and if you are in a better place then think about adding another baby to the family. But if you have doubts and fears now then it probably is not a good time.
 

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I'm in the same boat, except I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant with number 3 already. I posted about this same question and received a few tips. I'm pretty much expecting to have some symptoms of depression -- I've already had some pregnancy depression.

However, I'm doing a lot to prepare, set up support systems, bring in the grandmas a few weeks after the birth (not right away, I think that will be too much. We will do a baby moon for a couple weeks and take it easy through the holidays, but then when I'm physically doing better, I'm bringing in some help. I'm also thinking about the placenta eating topic. Thinking and researching at this point. I've got my list of supplements that were helpful when I finally got help after DS (#2). I found that avoiding refined sugar helped TONS with the irritability and mood swings. Keeping blood sugar stable in general. And some names of some counselors to try to see. So, I don't know how it will go, but that's how I'm preparing.

I do agree with the tip to wait until you are ready. This preganancy came as we were getting ready to try, I wasn't really committed and all the way ready, and that has factored into some of th pregnancy depression - "can I handle this, is this really what I wanted, and all that. I'm trying really hard to get through those feelings now, because I think that negativity could cause trouble later.

best wishes,
violet
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for the replies.

I'm still not even sure I want a third -- I go back and forth just about every minute, it seems. But dealing with depression again is a big reason I'm thinking 2 is my limit. We'll see.
 

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I have dealt with PPD after every single baby I have had, and it can be a struggle. Do know that there are options, and be sure to look into whatever resources your community may have. I am now done having kids and am currently taking medication to relieve my symptoms. I will say that it got worse after #2 & #3 were born. During those times, it took every ounce of self control not to suicide. It really didn't help that the Dr. said not to worry, it would pass, that it was no big deal. After this baby, I got help at the first sign of trouble and it has made a huge difference.
 

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Are you seeing a therapist? If not, please seek one out, ppd often has other contributing factors than the hormones. At the very least, it's a way to really talk about how you're feeling about the possibility of a third, discuss the anxiety, etc. While it is not a guarantee that you will experience ppd again, having it in the first place is definitely a risk factor. It's possible you won't. It sounds like you just recently stopped being depressed; I remember when it was still fresh in my mind. It has slowly faded away where it's not an everyday thing, but if I really think about it, it doesn't take much to come back.

I had pretty bad ppd with #1, what I would consider the baby blues with #2 that lasted about a month, but it was on and off, and am currently pg with #3.

Another option to look into is medication. There are medications that are relatively safe during pg--you have to weigh your options. Some mamas will start medication at the end of the 3rd trimester and continue through the first few months pp, slowly wean off them and see how they're doing. A healthy and happy mama is the most important thing. Also keep in mind that one major difference is that you KNOW about it now. If you do have another and start to feel that way, seek help ASAP. And if you feel depressed during pg, for sure seek help immediately, as that greatly raises your chances of developing ppd, too.

I would really really encourage talking to a professional (not necessarily your ob) about this who has experience with it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks everyone. We are still discussing the possibility of a 3rd just about every day.

I decided today that I'm going to call my midwife and ask for therapist recommendations, just to see what they say. I never took medication or went to therapy -- I just waited for the depression to go away on its own. I don't necessarily think that was a good idea, and won't do that again. But I wonder if I do something about it this time, maybe it won't be as bad or last as long?

I don't know.
 
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