[Mhorai]

My 18 month old eats wonderfully at day care, but won't eat much with us- especially not at dinner.

It's become a real battle- all he wants is yogurt, grapes, crackers and cheese (with the occassional addition). I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to just cater to this non-veggie, special diet. On the other hand, if he just refuses to eat what we are eating, then he goes to bed with very little dinner and then is starving when he wakes up in the morning.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has gone through this. Help. Would you suggest I:

1) Offer a variety of foods, some of his favorites and some of what we are eating and just let him choose as will? (If so, when his favorites run out, should I get him more?)

2) Give him what we are eating and trust he'll eat as much as he needs when he's hungry.

3) Something else. Thank you!

 

[laneysprout]

We are going through the same thing here! A few weeks ago all she wanted was apples and pears. Now it's cultured butter and (raw) cow's milk. She would live on cheese and crackers if I let her. And vegetables? Only if they're green and only when she decides she's in the mood. I keep offering and she keeps refusing, but I think it's just because they're at an age where they are trying to establish boundaries. Coincidentally, her new favorite word is, "No."

 

[Mhorai]

So what do you do when all they want is a specific item and keep asking for it...give it to them? Writing that makes it seem like I should assuming it's not a cookie or something, which it never is. For those of you with older toddlers/preschoolers, they do eventually get past this right and eat a variety of healthy foods right?

I guess I'm thinking that I should go ahead, offer a variety of foods including some I think he'll like, give more of what he asks for, and trust that repeating the process (and not creating a "I won't give you what you want" power struggle") is the way to go?

If only they came with an individualized instruction manual at birth

 

[Shera971]

Right now my 3YO DS has a fixation on yogurt, wants it all the time. I do limit him to 2 a day though. I explain to him that if he has too much of one thing he might get a tummy ache. When he persists, I offer another food that is a favourite like fruit or peppers.

For meals he can choose what he wants for breakfast and lunch (within reason of course) but he doesn't get a choice at dinner. He doesn't have to eat what I've cooked but if he doesn't want to there is nothing else until snack before bed.

I've also found that presentation can make a difference too. If I cut up his food in a unique way, or make a design on his plate it will distract him from his wanting his favourites all the time.

Hope this helps - good luck!

 

[425lisamarie]

Very normal, and quite healthy foods for an 18 month old. You can try hiding veggies in things if you're worried about it but they come around eventually. I don't even think veggies are the easiest to digest for very young toddlers. I would make sure he has something he can eat if you think he's that hungry.

 

[ErinBird]

I consider her likes and dislikes and create my family's meals based on that input (and input from me and my DP!). My duaghter and I eat 4-5 small emals a day, so I give her lots of opportunity to eat food. If she doesn't eat, she doesn't eat. The natural consequence is that she'll be hungry if she was not eating to be stubborn or something.

What I do not do is prepare her something separate. I am okay with leaving out specific ingredients or giving her an extra helping of a dish she really likes and less of the one she doesn't favor. I don't take away her soup and give her cheese because she decides she doesn't want soup.

 

[BeanyMama]

I try to keep favorite fruits and veggies around for snack time and they can pick which they'd like, for mealtime what I make is what I make

It's always been that way and they don't expect anything else, even if they find it icky.

Remember kids will refuse something a bunch of times and then one day shock you by adoring it, so keep offering, even if it seems a bit wasteful! Mine have done this countless times.

Also, my Mom would always serve us a little salad with our meals and we could pick the dressing. When she served a new dish that we didn't want to try the familiar salad was always there, I do this with mine now and am really glad for it.

Goes without saying but wanted to add never to force food or bribe them to eat.

 

[laneysprout]

Yeah, and I've read that it makes more sense to look at what they consume over the course of a week or a month, rather than a day.

 

[dfunk98]

I'm glad to see I'm not the only mama with a "troublesome" eater!! My 13 mo DS has what I like to call "texture preferences", but what they are, I couldn't tell you!!
Foods either have to be perfectly smooth (yogurt, purees, etc.) or crispy (crackers, toasted oats cereal, etc.). I'm really at a loss. He didn't start really eating solids until 10 months, but the last few weeks have been driving me batty. Here's what our typical day used to look like:
Breakfast: Oat Cereal
Lunch: Oatmeal and Fruit
Dinner: Yogurt and Veggies
I've always tried exposing him to textures. I grate pieces of apple, cut up bits of cooked carrots, etc. He won't really eat anything that's soft-it has to be hard or mush, no in between. This week has been a nightmare, though. I started making him toasted cheese sandwiches in the toaster oven sO it would get nice and crispy. He loved that for awhile, then hated it. Pasta-same thing. Ate it like there was no tomorrow, now spits it right back out. Today, I made him cream of wheat with broccoli and cheese-spit it out. I've also tried giving him coucous with prunes (he loves prunes!!)-nope!! I really try to vary what I give him from day to day, bc I don't like eating the same things all the time, but that doesn't seem to help or harm the situation so...
I've tried giving him what we're eating for dinner (homemade pizza, tofu, etc.) but no dice. My 4 yo DD was always a really good eater, I made all her baby food (ie. purees) in batches and froze them. My freezer was stocked. I was so looking forward to avoiding all that work this time around, and giving DS "solids" from the beginning, but he's not having any of it. I don't want to start pureeing again, but I HATE buying jarred baby food!! Maybe tonight I'll just try putting our dinner in the blender for him. We'll see how that goes. If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know!!

 

[petra_william]

i dont think i can word this without making it sound like i think im some super mum and you're all doing it wrong but its not meant like that at all and i just wanted to say so before trying to reply ok ??

i always felt that a child will eat what he sees others eating and that bad eating habits and being fussy is greatly down to how parents act around their children eating. i made a huge effort NEVER to push food, or to cajole, bribe or see something as "bad" or "good". it didnt always work of course but as soon as i found myself being tense i would count to ten and say to myself come on, he will eat when he is hungry, im not worried aobut him not getting enough calories as im still bf on demand. calm down cos you're going to make matters worse.... and regarding "bad" or "good" food. i just didnt have anything i though was "bad" in the house and so i couldnt offer it to him or even eat it myself.

i believe strongly that children will do what we expect them to do. from saying "careful you dont fall" when they climb onto the table (they're more likely to fall cos they think mummy thinks im gonna fall, mummy knows everything and she must be true... and they fall yk?) to saying things like "are you going to eat this vegetable today?" with an undertone / feeling / knowledge that they probably wont. kids pick up on us being tense about things and act accordingly to our fears (actually its not only kids who act like that. if you expect a person to act in a certain way you are likely to act in a way that will make him act how you expect him too yk?)

having a fear of your child not eating or being picky or not liking certain foods may be part of the problem with picky kids. i know at the same time that children tend to go through a phase of being picky because its a revolutionary thing. once they start walking they are more wary of new things cos that bush they've just walked to could have poisenous berries on it or something. so its not necesarily a bad thing either yk?

what i would do however is to a) try and eat together, even if its just for lunch and you only eat a little and then later on with your dp if you dont eat together now.
b) put everything on your childs plate that you have prepared, along with something that you know she will like. dont make a fuss, dont reward, bribe or anything of the sort. dont say "OOOOHHHHH WELL DOOOONEEEE YOU ATE A BIT OF CARROTTT OOOOHH WASNT THAT LOVELY" cos i also believe that that must be hugely annoying. imagine if someone was saying it to you, you'd feel like shutting them up and saying well ok i ate a carrot cos i wanted to what a great deal.yk? i actually remember my mum doing this to me with salad and it still freaks me out today when she says "dont forghet to eat your salad." Im not. im just eating this first. give me a break! lol

making a fuss, is making a deal, an issue out of food and eating. if there's no issue and no big deal to kids eating then they know that its entirely up to them to eat as much as they want and whatever everybody else is eating cos they dont want to starve yk? kids want to fit in, they want to do what mummy and daddy do. but if they get pushed to do what mummy and daddy do they rebel and do the exact opposite. its like as soon as they sense you would like to force them to eat this carrot they will shut down.

staying relaxed and calm is the number one thing that will help overcome this problem in my eyes anyway.

a fun way to try and encourage (without pushing) healthy eating is to have a picknick with teddy bears or dolls or whatever on the living room floor or wherever and have anything from breadsticks and vegetable sticks with dips and cheese, grapes, crackers (

), sausages, whatever you want. cos the setting is informal and fun they are more likely to just dig in, especially if you could go for a "hike" up the stairs and into the cellar and round the kitchen table and outsiden in the garden, weather permitting etc to build up an appetite.

i hope you can kind of understand what i mean with all this rambling.

it has worked well with ds and dps dd who is fussy.(she lives with her mum but here she will eat veg!)

HTH petra

 

[kiwiva]

We're not on the other side of the pickiness yet but I have found that it ebbs and flows from week to week. I generally make stuff that she might eat some of. Sometimes that means she is only eating bread tho so I offer some cheese or fruit or whatever and let it go.

Some weeks I feel like she only eats bread and cheese but other times she is eating broccoli and other good stuff so I really don't stress. I do try to pep up the foods she does eat. I add onions and garlic to absolutely everything, zucchini to mac and cheese, pumpkin to pancakes, etc. It's mostly whole wheat. She sees DH and I eating all sorts of veggies and good stuff and I don't offer a lot of crappy sweets (and especially not if I haven't made them). She also will not eat any sort of meat or fish. I just offer it and hope that eventually she will eat it all.

 

[Sparks*]

my 21mo is going through this as well, and I can totally relate with how frustrating it can be! you make a gorgeous meal for them, and they just spit it right out. My son is so picky, that I've started giving him a multi-vitamin because I literally could not get him to eat anything but cheese and grapes. I've found though now that if I can make something into a consistency he can drink, he'll drink it. He's a cluster teether, and was getting three molars in at once, so I really think it was just painful for him to try to chew anything. I make him lots of smoothies and add brewer's yeast, yogurt, oil for added calories and as much yummy stuff to beef them up as much as possible. DS is not one to "sit and eat" whatsoever. Way too busy. So having a cup he can take around the house with him and drink from occassionally works best for him. He drinks a ton of whole milk everyday as well. Once he is better at eating some normal table foods, I'll probably take him off the multi-vitamin.

 

[laneysprout]

Quote:

Originally Posted by petra_william i always felt that a child will eat what he sees others eating and that bad eating habits and being fussy is greatly down to how parents act around their children eating. i made a huge effort NEVER to push food, or to cajole, bribe or see something as "bad" or "good". what i would do however is to a) try and eat together, even if its just for lunch and you only eat a little and then later on with your dp if you dont eat together now. b) put everything on your childs plate that you have prepared, along with something that you know she will like. dont make a fuss, dont reward, bribe or anything of the sort.

I do think some of this comes across as condescending, since I don't think anyone has mentioned bribing or even giving their children "bad" foods. I think the concerns that have been expressed are about the variety of foods eaten (or refused!

) more than anything else. You can offer a healthy variety of foods, make mealtimes stress-free, get creative, and model healthy eating habits until the cows come home, but toddlers are toddlers (read: notoriously picky about most things). Just my two cents.

 

[sapphire_chan]

Does the "eats wonderfully at daycare" include the things he's not eating at home?