[debsdancer]

This is more nap-related than nighttime... is that ok here? or where should i post?
Ds1 is 2 yrs old, ds2 is 5 weeks old. No routine yet for the newbie, so I never know when he'll be asleep, or deeply enough asleep that I can put him down. Ds1 is still nursed to sleep for nap and bed. I'm on my own for naptime, but often have help at bedtime. Naps are going to be my undoing! in the three weeks that i've been on my own, I've done ridiculous gymnastics trying to balance ds2 on my side with a finger in his mouth to suck on while ds1 lies next to me nursing to try to get to sleep. It has worked many times but it's not fun, and when I spend 20 or 30 minutes doing that and then ds1 doesn't sleep, I often cry. I guarantee you he's tired because his nighttime sleep is all messed up since baby's come, and his behavior reflects it. He's used to rocking to sleep in a chair while nursing... but i can't keep baby quiet while doing that unless we're tandeming, which would be fine except how then do i stand up to transfer ds1 to the bed? If ds2 would just fall asleep (and stay asleep) long enough for me to get ds1 down.... but that's only happened a couple times...
oh please someone have a really good idea...
i was even willing to sell my soul and use a pacifyer, or a swing, or ANYthing to buy me 15 minutes alone with ds1... but so far nothing has worked...
help?

 

[taralv]

I was just looking for some different issues here on this board, but I thought I'd give you some suggestions because you sound tired - really tired. Mine are further apart, so that my dd was 3 when ds was born, and she had basically given up her nap. She had weaned during my pregnancy, and until that time nursed down for her nap as well. After weaning, I had to rely heavily on driving, walking her in a stroller and other similar methods of getting her to nap when she needed one. Having said that, is there any way you can put the baby in a front carrier or sling and push your 2 year old in a stroller? I know it sounds difficult but it worked in a pinch. What about driving them to sleep? It depends on how well the baby rides in the car, but sometimes it helps to put them both in a car seat and let them get to sleep, even if it's only for half an hour. Sorry if these don't help. It's hard in the beginning, if you can just get through the next couple of months, your little one will probably be a little more willing to sleep for a little while away from you - or maybe your toddler will adapt to a new way to be put to sleep. When I weaned my dd from nursing to sleep (at night), I would put the fan on, turn off the lights (except nightlight) and rub her back till she fell asleep. Okay, good luck. Hang in there.

Tara

 

[turtlemama77]

My dd (19 months) has been having to wait for her nap until ds (3 weeks) is sleeping. If I swaddle ds, he'll stay asleep in his bucket carseat long enough for me to nurse dd to sleep. I've also put ds in a swing, which keeps him asleep too, but the swaddling I think is really what does help. So maybe you could try that? Or could you all just crowd into the rocking chair, maybe with the baby already asleep and then nurse your older child?

It's hard. I feel pulled in different directions so often. Hang in there...I hear it gets better!

 

[debsdancer]

thanks for the input- taralv, I AM tired, but it's due to the toddler, not the newborn! go figure... I was hoping the car would be my fallback, OR the stroller- but the baby doesn't like the car (ds1 didn't like it either, as a baby) so it's hard for ds1 to fall asleep that way, and apparently the stroller is too much of a novelty (never used one before ds2 came along) to allow him to fall asleep easily. I walked for an hour the other day with baby in sling and ds1 was chattering away. You're supposed to be TIRED, child! and it's Hot and Humid here... especially right at naptime! (middle of the day). I guess what I really need is a way to just roll with whatever happens, instead of dreading nap hour and undoubtedly cursing myself in the process. He's just so miserable when he doesn't nap, though...
Pulled in different directions, indeed...
hope it gets better for you, too, turtlemama!

 

[USAmma]

When my kids were little like that, I just gave up on scheduled nap times. I waited until the baby was sleeping and then used that time to spend with dd1. I used a swing for the baby. I am not pro-swing but I had NO support and that's what worked. In the good ol' days there would be other women around to help hold the baby. Dd1 would eventually get so tired she would put herself down for nap or just fall asleep on the couch or floor, or sometimes not. It made for ugly evenings but I was only one person and I couldn't do it all.

 

[GavinSophieMama]

We have almost the same space in age that you have, so far this has what has worked for us. The three of us in a huge recliner, the only problem with this one is that I often get trapped by two beautiful nursing/sleeping babies (which come to think of it...really isn't a problem, but you know what I mean). The other is to be in bed with them so I can get my dd (the youngest) to sleep or at least happy and then focus on my ds (the toddler).
Then..just when you find a solution, everything changes. The last few weeks my infant has been already asleep when it is time for my toddlers nap.
Hang in there...as with most things, it gets easier with time.