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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My first birth was in a different city. I couldn't afford a homebirth at the time so I had an amazing midwife provide labour support. The only thing that could have made my birth better was if I had been able to stay home the entire time (getting to that darn hospital was hard with contractions a minute apart! It took us forever to get there!). My midwife was amazing in her knowledge not only of birth but of herbs and other remedies good for use in pregnancy and labour. During labour she gave me rescue remedy when she thought I needed it, some other herbs (my memory is failing me right now as this was 8 years ago), arnica after birth, etc., etc. I LOVED that she was knowledgable in this area and could trust her for these remedies during labour.<br><br>
I can't have this midwife for this birth as she moved out of the country shortly after my birth and I have moved to a different city. In fact, I have only one midwife to choose from. Thus, my choices are, take the only midwife available, birth in the hospital, or do an unassisted birth. Unassisted birth has been eliminated from my choices due to the fact that I am not mentally prepared for it and don't have time to get prepared (we are building a new house right now and will be spending time with the construction, packing, moving etc. and moving less than a month before baby is due). As for hospital birth, well I just don't see the purpose of getting up to go there when I can stay in the comfort of my own home.<br><br>
So, I am taking the homebirth with my only choice of midwife. Now, I like her, really I do. She is laid back, calm, knows her stuff, has lots of stories about previous births....but she's not my old midwife. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> She seems more medically oriented than my last midwife. For example, I called her about a minor problem I was having and hoped she have some suggestions as to a safe herb or remedy that I could take. She didn't have much advice other than some common sense things (like make sure you eat, etc.) and then told me about a prescription medication in case it got bad. Not what I wanted to hear at all.<br><br>
I ended up heading to the homeopath and picking up a remedy which resolved my issue in a day or two. I didn't need prescription meds and even if I did, I'd likely have tried every natural remedy under the sun before I resorted to meds. So, anyway, now I have no idea what I'll do during my birth. It looks like I'll have to do all of the research on herbs/remedies during labour on my own. I can talk to a naturopath and homeopath beforehand and get advice so I can make my own little stash in advance. What I am most worried about is during labour. My previous midwife said I needed very little labour support but she watched me carefully and knew if I needed rescue remedy or anything else. I wouldn't have known on my own because I was in such a zone that the world could have blown up around me and I would never have known.<br><br>
I suppose DH could somewhat take on this role, but never having seen, let alone attended a birth, he's not going to know when it might be a good idea to try a herb to speed up/slow down contractions, etc. And with all we have going on in the next several months, it's unlikely we can get him that training in time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Likely I am being a big baby, but I guess I was hoping for the same type of midwife for this birth and that I would take a step forward with being able to be at home. Now it seems like I get the home part, but I have to sacrifice some other aspects of my care (so a step forward and some steps back). So, now I'm feeling sorry for myself and all bummed out! Any ideas or advice?
 

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Hi, sounds like we are in a similiar boat<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I had the same midwife for my first two births and she has since moved. I now have another midwife that I like, but I was hoping to feel more comfortable with her right away. I guess it will just take time. It is hard starting over. I just don' t want to be in this place right now of establishing a new relationship. I just want to focus on baby and my two kiddos. I do find myself comparing both mw. I have heard this mw is a great labor support which was something I wish former MW would have been more for me, since I wanted that. My former MW was such a great listener and good evaluater. I tottally felt confident in her care. New MW is a little overly confident and quick to make judgements, so not as thorough. At least, I am not feeling her thoroghness. Does that make sense? I find I am doing alot more self learning, but I think part of that is having been around the block and a little more sober about birth. There is safety in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs) and I don't want to put mine and my babies health in just one persons hands well except Gods<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> I even have a obgyn now that I have mainly for second opinions and so I won't be given such a hard time in the event of transport and have another member on my birth team instead of another stranger (at night a one in six chance she would actually deliver me, you get whoevers on call) Just wanted you to know your not alone. Sending you a big (((hug))).
 

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Talk to your old mw and see what she suggests you have at your birth maybe?<br>
Like you can have rescue remedy available and tell dh or mw what it is and when to give it to you. My mw gave me emotional emergency when I needed it- she was VERY into herbs etc.... homeopathics and was very helpful.<br>
you will be fine.<br>
A doc or hospital nurse will DEFINETLY not be helpful with those things- so you are going the best route!!!<br>
Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Emilie</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Talk to your old mw and see what she suggests you have at your birth maybe?<br>
Like you can have rescue remedy available and tell dh or mw what it is and when to give it to you. My mw gave me emotional emergency when I needed it- she was VERY into herbs etc.... homeopathics and was very helpful.<br>
you will be fine.<br>
A doc or hospital nurse will DEFINETLY not be helpful with those things- so you are going the best route!!!<br>
Good luck!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
She moved to Switzerland the day after DD was born almost 9 years ago so I have no way to get a hold of her. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I can do the research and have everything ready, I am just disappointed that my midwife doesn't have this knowledge. I guess I was a bit (okay, a lot) surprised she didn't have this knowledge as all the midwives I interviewed in my last city were knowledgable in this regard. I guess I just assumed it was part of their training! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Thank you for pointing out that the hospital isn't going to be helpful. I'm in doubt land right now, so am not thinking clearly. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Our hospital is apparently fairly open minded (have a jacuzzi to labour in, will let you bring in birthing balls or anything else you want) but even so I could see them freaking out if they saw me downing some herb. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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I have a different mw with this pregnancy too, though I like her better than my last one. But, this one feels too bossy and I've been tempted to end up doing an unassisted because I'm scared she will try to take over and tell me what to do. Anyway, its not such a bad thing to have to research remedies yourself because then you really know them and can make them a part of your daily life. Health care ultimately does boil down to self-responsibility. Plus, you can pass the knowledge onto others later when they need help.<br>
Good luck to you<br>
Sara
 

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Could you just talk to your current MW and tell her the situation..."this really helped me during my last labor...I'd like to use this during/after the birth this is what it is this is what it does etc." she could possibly be educated on the use of herbs and heck you never know you could get her started on homeopathic meds and in turn help the next mom that comes along. Just be open and honest with her and she will probably be thankful in the end.
 

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read birthing from within by pam england- right now- it is an easy read and so important.<br>
Then go read the birth stories here. That helped me soooo much!<br>
The birth is about you not the midwife!<br>
Hugs mama<br>
Emilie
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks everyone. Thanks Emilie for the book recommendation, I'll pick it up either at the library or bookstore tonight. If anyone else has any other book recommendations for me, throw them my way!<br><br>
Oh, and I have started reading birth stories, the thing is, they all make me cry! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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If you are seeing a homeopath that seems like a good place to start. Your midwife might not be knowledgeable in the herbs department but I"m sure you could get good ideas on what to have on hand from doing some research. I also wanted to say that I have birthed naturally three times. My first two in the hospital and the last one at home with MW who gave me something during labor (don't remember what...it was something natural) to put under my tongue. I honestly could not tell a difference in my labor. I'm not saying that those herbs don't help, what do I know right? I'm just saying that as long as you have confidence in YOUR body to birth this baby and do what is right that is the best thing to get you through. Your body can do this! Midwives are just assistants to the job that we are doing. You can do it!! Keep us posted. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
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