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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As many of you are aware, many gifted people have a strong urge for justice.<br><br>
I would include myself and my children in this.<br><br>
As an adult, I am finding one of my biggest struggles is with whether a situation is just.<br><br>
I do not watch the news because I can not handle it.<br><br>
My oldest child goes to school, and I tend to get bent out of shape over things that others let go. I have a strong desire to model to my children what is acceptable in terms of rules and treatment, and how to be assertive. I am not so good a modelling how to let go.<br><br>
In fact there are only 2 types of people in my life on this issue:<br>
1. Those who are sensitive to injustice, and hence fight all the time<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br>
2. those who know something is wrong, but feel nothing can be done about it, so do not even try<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I am sure there are people who are not so polarised, but I don't know them!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I must admits my attempts at changing things (schools) has not been too successful, and I am starting to think the latter group has it right....which is a seriously depressing thought.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
I do wonder and worry about how to model "justice issues" with gifted children. I do not want to turn them off to their sense of justice (i.e "ask them to lighten up"), yet what do you do with a heightenned sense of justice in everyday life????<br><br>
kathy
 

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subbing, cause i too have a HUGELY hightened sense of Justice needing be served, and wrongs righted. and so does DD1. both gifted.<br>
would LOVE to talk about this issue.
 

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My suggestion would be treat it as a "choose your battles" sort of thing. Find places to direct your energy where you really can make a difference. For kids find concrete activities where they can participate in making the world a better place. Maybe they'd like to help sort cans at the food bank or start a chapter of Amnesty International, etc.
 

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My son's not old enough (and I still am not sure I'm ready to place him solidly in the gifted camp) but I definitely have had that issue. Actually one kind of pathetic reason I participate in Internet discussion is to satisfy that need to SAY SOMETHING about things. Ahem. Saying something... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I do try to pick my battles. Like cruelty to animals really bothers me and if I'm directly confronted with it, I'll react, but I have had to drop that as one of "my things." I have to trust, a little bit, that other people are addressing it, and put my energy and talents towards my particular causes.<br><br>
I really don't know how to handle the whole school thing though. Traditional, public school, if we go that way, is going to be an experience in sitting on my hands... it's one reason I backed out of teachers' college, so I know that already. I think I will have to lean on my partner a bit; he's really good at focusing on core issues and letting peripheral ones go.
 

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We're Catholic, so our culture has a lot of examples and ways to deal with social justice issues. I don't believe that there is ever a situation where you can do nothing about an injustice--the least you can do is pray. We talk about how to suffer injustice (being blamed for something you didn't do, etc) while speaking the truth...<br><br>
I think that examples of heroic people are the best way to learn about this with my kids. We talk about Mother Teresa, Maximilian Kolbe, Saint Francis, and the list goes on and on... And we also talk about the difference between being a nice person (Mother Teresa wasn't really a dear, sweet lady <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) but she strove for justice for people who were considered untouchable.<br><br>
I guess I never really thought of it as separate from life since it is part of our everyday, it is a given. Our parish has so many opportunities to give and be aware of how we can help. I think this is what I will miss about my son's school the most....
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I try to pick my battles...sometimes when anger over an issue sparks, it is hard to be objective, though.<br><br>
Last week there was an incident at school that I should have probably let slide....and didn't. Sigh.<br><br>
I do focus on things I can do. I, and my children have a fairly good balance of of formal and informal voluteering - which helps, but does not get rid of my "justice issues" (which are hard to put into words).<br><br>
Thank you for the reminder to pray. I do believe in God, so for me that is good advice. I think, even for the non-deists among us, sending positve vibes out into the universe is a good thing.<br><br>
Kathy
 

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I have this issue. I'm also highly sensitive. DD is dealing with what I perceive to be meanness at school, and I think it bothers me more than her...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
I absolutely get out some of my high-horsiness on the Internet! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> NOt at MDC, usually--political/philosophical discussion elsewhere.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">And we also talk about the difference between being a nice person (Mother Teresa wasn't really a dear, sweet lady ) but she strove for justice for people who were considered untouchable.</td>
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Sort of like Ghandi; another tough cookie and complete trouble-maker.<br><br>
I'm Catholic, too. What Bavarian isn't?<br><br>
I've read/own Mother Teresa's biography and that was one tough lady! She was hated and despised by a lot of people. And a lot of people (especially "the authorities") tried to bring her down. But she didn't care. She did what she knew was right; what she was called to do.<br><br>
So inspiring...<br><br>
We pray every night and often include things we're feeling a bit helpless about (politics, health, environmental, etc.) That definitely helps.<br>
So does getting involved with at least one thing that is very close to your heart.<br>
Once my kids are a bit bigger I'm looking forward to working with the Gabriel Project again.<br>
And even though we aren't involved in any big environmental project we are big "creation care" types and try to do our part (recycling, local food, turning off lights, opening the windows instead of air conditioning, etc.).
 

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To what particular type of injustice are you referring? There is almost always some sort of volunteer work or activity that can be done to at least lessen the effects of the injustice. You said that you do volunteer already - even younger children can be helpful at soup kitchens or at picking out toys for their less fortunate peers. Older children can records books for the blind, visit nursing homes, tutor younger children, etc. There are also court-appointed advocates who advocate for the rights of children in the court system. Children in school can be encouraged to seek out and talk to children who are socially awkward and have few friends. You get the picture!<br><br>
Regarding adults reacting to injustice and choosing battles - You seem to be wondering whether or not you should speak up about something concerning your child's school. I would do so if you feel strongly about it. I think if you take the time to think carefully about what you want to say and how to say it/who to say it to, you will be less likely to regret your actions and more likely to model successfully the way to assert oneself. This is important for children to see! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>VanessaS</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9945379"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">And even though we aren't involved in any big environmental project we are big "creation care" types and try to do our part (recycling, local food, turning off lights, opening the windows instead of air conditioning, etc.).</div>
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My guys are the compost police... we were eating an orange at the park and my 3 yo freaked when I *gasp* threw an orange peel in the trash. He said, "mommy that's for the worms to make compost!"<br>
We're trying to start another community garden to support the food bank in our city... I guess urban agriculture is a big thing for our family.<br>
Once we were watching a nat'l geographic special about the forests, and they showed a scene of a clear cut forest--both of my guys got so upset and cried for the trees.<br><br>
VanessaS, usually at bedtime I am so tired and just want my guys to settle down and sleep I'll rush through the Glory Be (no time for a Hail Mary or anything else) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">My guys are the compost police</td>
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">VanessaS, usually at bedtime I am so tired and just want my guys to settle down and sleep I'll rush through the Glory Be (no time for a Hail Mary or anything else)</td>
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Oh! I meant that my DH and I pray about that stuff. My little ones just get a traditional German prayer that they've memorized. So, same here.
 

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DH (also gifted) and I have had that conversation many, many times. We are the #1 type, at least most of the time. (If he's stressed he becomes #2, but it's a defensive mechanism, albeit a really irritating one!)<br><br>
The only thing we can come up with is that we are trying to help others, volunteer time and money to causes that help people and the environment, and that we try to do a little more each year. That said, it never feels like enough and the knowledge that it will never be enough is depressing. (Might be a little bit of Lutheran guilt playing into that, hard to say.)<br><br>
DD's just 3 so she thinks that recycling and composting and whatnot are what everyone does. She's really sensitive, possibly more than the two of us, so we're still trying to shield her from some of the nastier parts, while demonstrating that we ought to keep doing something.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Thanks everyone.<br><br>
I find reading everyones responses very helpful.<br><br>
For my part, I think accepting that this is an issue for me is key.<br><br>
I also think I need to focus on being pro-active instead of reactive.<br><br>
Kathy
 

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I think it was the Dalai Lama that said that one of the hardest things in life was knowing that we won't be done, when we die.<br><br>
I also get soooo upset by all the things that need fixing and what I could do for this person or that group that it just becomes overwhelming.<br><br>
I usually want to do a bunch of different donations and volunteering at Christmas, but this year my dh encouraged me to step back and wait until later. It has taken a huge load off of my shoulders!! And of course I feel bad about that too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> (Yes, definitly Lutheran guilt here.)<br><br>
So, no solution or words of wisdom from me, but you aren't alone!
 
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