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James is 3 yrs old, and Aldria is 4.5 months. Recently she started to get unhappy in the infant carseat (didn't like lying down, couldn't see, ect) so we moved in into our 2nd convertible car seat. It has been in DH's car for quite a while, but since the kids never ride in DH's car we just put it in my van for Aldria to ride in.<br><br>
Well it USED to be James' car seat obviously and he was NOT pleased that we passed it down to Aldria. Every time we get in the car he demands we get Aldria OUT of his car seat and put her in her own car seat...keep in mind that James is still in the car seat he's been using for probably a year now and he hasn't used car seat #2 more than a half dozen times in a year...but of course he still remembers that it is HIS car seat.<br><br>
I've tried explaining that Aldria is too big for her car seat, she needs a big car seat like his...no go.<br><br>
This is the first time we've run into this because he never slept in the crib so passing that down to her was no big deal, and we bought just about everything else new (except for the stroller)...even the infant car seat was 'new' (we got it from DH's BIL) so it wasn't James' at any point in time (as if James would remember the infant carseat anyway, he sized out of it at 4 months)<br><br>
It's making car rides a nightmare because he yells at me the whole time to put Aldria in HER car seat! Not in his car seat, he's very upset by this. I honestly was not expecting this at all so I'm at a loss what to do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Oh, and there has, thus far, been no 'sibling riveraly' James LOVES his sister, loves to snuggle with her, bring her toys, play with her...etc. When people ask if he likes her he says "Yes, I love my baby sister." and if people say "Do you want me to take her away? Can I have her?" like most kids (that I've seen) Say "Yeah sure!" he says "NO! She's MY baby sister. You can't have her she's MINE." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/luxlove.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="throb">
 

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I dont really know what to suggest because I only have my son at the moment...but that I think you need to talk with him more about it. Explain to him that it is not his car seat. It is Aldrias car seat - whilst explaining to him that the car seat he is using is his car seat for now? You might have to do it continuously for awhile. You might need to prep him up on it before you get into the car. So James we are getting in the car, you are going to sit in your car seat - the black one with red stripes (or whatever it looks like! - I am just throwing in dialogue here hehe) and I am going to put Aldria into her car seat - the beige one with black stripes (or whatever it looks like lol).<br><br>
Go deeper as well. Maybe he has memories attatched to that car seat? Maybe he just needs some of your attention right now more so than you think he does and this is his way of expressing that. (I would be careful of using phrases with him such as 'good boy' and 'big boy') - because maybe hes not feeling that way. Hes only 3. Maybe he wants to be 'babied' a bit?<br><br>
Maybe you can help him understand more about how when we no longer need things we let other people who do need them have them. Take him to chairty shops and can food drives or whatever to show him so he can be active in giving away something of his to someone else who is in need of it - like old clothes, etc. Model it yourself.<br><br>
Also - maybe...Would you buy him a toy car seat of his own? He may like that. I know my son would at the moment! lol - He carries this toy cow around with him eveywhere - I bet he would put it in the toy car seat lol Maybe you son could have fun with this - that way when you are in the car he also has his 'own' car seat that he is not using and maybe somethign special of his can sit in it? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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We had something similar... dd1 didn't really remember/claim her infant car seat, but dd2 just moved into the Marathon (that dd1 hasn't used in at least a year, dd1 has an Alpha-Omega that she likes a lot better) and dd1 is claiming the seat as her own. Even though she didn't like it. Even though it's been a year. Even though she loves her current seat.<br><br>
What we've done so far is stress that the A-O is dd1's seat. We let her pick out stickers and "decorate" the seat. Then we let dd1 pick out stickers for dd2 and "help" dd2 decorate the Marathon. We also explained (over and over) that it's ok to share, ok to hand-down items, ok for dd2 to use things that dd1 no longer needs. And we shortened the straps on the Marathon to fit dd2 and then let dd1 "try it out"... as we expected it was tight, pinched her legs, and she was pretty happy to climb out and "give" it to dd2. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Basically we did what we could to make dd1 feel in control, like she was giving a gift to her sister (like yours, our elder kiddo adores her younger sib and would do just about anything for her), while at the same time making dd1's seat a little more attractive and letting her feel how uncomfy the Marathon is for a "big girl".
 
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