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HI everyone I need some support...I lost a baby 2 and 1/2 weeks ago at 14 and 1/2 weeks ....I was in shock went in for normal midwife appt no HB with doppler so we did a U/S baby was dead....I have had 3 children with no problems in the last 5 years I thought I was immune...silly I know but that is what I thought...I thought maybe I was getting better but here comes the anger and heartache again...I swear my heart is just breaking and I just want these feelings to be over I am so tired of crying and being sad...I went over to my due in board (which was stupid) to check on everyone and they are feeling their babies move which did me in today ...I go from feeling of obsessing on TTC again and then feelings of not wanting to try for a long time...my body is so off..I thought I stopped bleeding then it starts again it is light spotting but frustrating becuase it just reminds me what was done + OPKs and neg preg test arrrrggggg I want it all to stop ....I kicked my garbage can down the hallway because I am so mad and hurt...thanks for reading my rambling...you all are the only people who understand...
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I cant offer advice mama, and you may not even be looking for that anyway, but I send you hugs, prayers, love and light, and I'm so sorry you lost your baby, I wish I could prevent that from happening to anyone.
 

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talitha,
i am so sorry you are going through this! there are all of these 'things' connected to having a pregnancy in these modern times... tests, sticks, charts, pregnancy due date clubs... even this loss board. its all there to help, but you don't really need any of it (although i will say that the support from this thread has been a life line for me...). in the end, its your body and mind that needs to heal, and it will... it takes time and patience, and the willingness to allow the grief to come and be a part of your life. i think it may be a good thing for you to maybe stay away from the due date board... dangerous territory and i think its only going to serve to cause pain for you at this point (again, like pp, i don't want to tell you what to do...) when my daughter was stillborn, there were still three ladies still awaiting their due dates, and i was just overcome with sadness and sorrow when i thought of them having their babies... of course i didn't want anything bad to happen, that wasn't what i felt...but it was painful and hollowing to get the news of each of the births. i'm not saying that what you felt at the due date board was the same, but its similiar i imagine. its was and still is important for me to stay very aware of what is good and supportive of my feelings and the stages of my grieving, and then what is just going to be a trigger for a big setback...sometimes i need the trigger to feel some pain again, because i can numb myself to it all too. i really try to stay on the healthy side of grieving my daughter's loss, but its hard not to fall into the depths of my sorrow and it is a scary place there. i goes back and forth like you wrote... you thought it was going alright, and then, bam, the worst! this is a great place to come and read and feel support. i'm not glad you're here but i'm glad you're here, kwim?
 

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I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little one. I lost my son Grant a week after he was born about a month ago. I am having a really hard day today as well... Remember to take care of yourself physically - that is what I am trying to do right now. Drinking my water and eating well... taking prenatals
Let yourself feel and I think we will know when we are ready for another pregnancy. Today I went to Target and on the way back I started crying in my car and that is ok too... as much as I dislike it and I feel the sadness will never leave I have to just go through the grief and in a way while I am doing it I feel I am honoring my baby. It makes me feel better to think that. Well I dont know how all this babbling will help you but I did want to tell you that I am very sorry.
 

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I know there's nothing that I can say to make you feel better other than that you have the love of those around you and the love of us here on the boards. I've lost 2 but at such a young young stage that I'm sure it's nothing like what you have gone through. Guess you now how a guardian angel watching over you. Like others have said, take care of you and those other little ones and take time to heal. Sounds cold to re-read it but there is no other way. *hugs* Kitty
 

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Warmest Greetings to you!
I too know your pain. I lost our little one in August. It still pains me!
I have no insight as to how to deal with it better, how to ease the pain. My pain is still very much in tact. I also find myslef going to my DDC often. I do not know why!!!!

I pray you have a wonderful day tomorrow. I can tell you one thing that has helped me through this. I have 5 healthy, beautiful children!
YOU HAVE THREE! Hug them tighter, kiss them more, tell them you love them every 3 minutes.
 

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I am sorry for your loss.

Would it help you to talk about your baby? Did you name him/her?

I know this sounds like a cliche but it does get better, the pain gets less raw but the love you feel for this baby will never go away.

The due date boards are a hard one, I know I have checked them out too and wanted to scream at the ladies for discussing trivial subjects when my baby was dead sigh...

take care of yourself and be gentle you have every right to be mad

tara
 

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to you. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I found out the same way about mine, I was 13 weeks. Its heartwrenching...give yourself all the time you can-peace to you. I am sure with three other children it is hard to do, but make sure you do make time for yourself. You are totally justified with being angry! Kick away...keeping expressing your emotions.
 

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I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. All of your emotions are normal and expected, as I am sure that you know. We are all here for support. We lost our daughter almost 4 weeks ago and I am still taking it day by day and hour by hour -- some days are better than others. Please talk with us and vent to us because we do understand.
 

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I am so sorry.

With my last miscarriage almost 8 years ago, i felt i was on a roller coaster...one minute i was fine (and I was!), then next i felt i was back at square one.

Then one day the fog lifted.

It will for you as well.

 

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Talitha, I am sending you love and peace. I am sorry this has happened. You are experiencing a lot of pain right now. Do what you need to get it out, because that is healthy in the end.

I am really relating to your intense feelings of needing to TTC again and having frustration with your body in it's slow healing process.

I found it helpful to reconnect with my body and to remember to appreciate it's innate wisdom. I don't understand why my body couldn't support the life of the little baby I just lost, but I have come to an understanding that my body is doing what it needs to do and works in ways that I have to trust in.

I hope you find some peace Mama.

Much love, ND
 
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