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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am currently a stay at home and love it. However, I just received my work authorization card on Friday (I'm in the process of becoming a permanent US resident), and now I almost want to work.<br><br>
DD is still breastfed and I have no interest in pumping or using day care, so any "work" I do will only be for a few hours a day and worked around DH's schedule so she can stay home with him.<br><br>
In my field I could very easily find something for a few hours in the early morning (like 7-10), which would be great.<br><br>
My question is, how does going back to work affect a child who has had a stay at home mom for 14 months? I leave her with DH quite a lot, but it's always centered around *her*, which means she's well fed, well rested, and is not in a mommy cling on phase. The idea of HAVING to leave her when she doesn't want me to go because I need to get to work is a little scary. Unlike grocery shopping, I can't put off a commitment to be at work simply because she's not ready for me to leave. I wonder what implications that would have on our relationship.<br><br>
I'm really torn about finding something, so I wanted to talk others who have been there before I got serious about looking.
 

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I don't think the relationship btwn you and your kids will suffer at all - 14 months of trust & love is not easily broken down by a few hours here and there, esp. since they will be with their dad, who they know, love and trust also.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
So I was offered a position today. They want me for full time (6 days a week, 10 hour days) which I declined. So they made another offer of reduced full time, which is Sat-Tues, 6 hours a day. She seems really flexible in working with me about hours. I would probably work 5:30-11:30 (am) on weekends so we still had all day together as a family, and then work 2-8 (pm) on Mon Tues so DH's mom could watch her after school (she's a teacher).<br><br>
This is *if* I take it. I told them I would think about it over the weekend.<br><br>
Theoretically on the weekends DD would go back to sleep with DH when I get up, then have breakfast, play for a bit, and I'd be home. She doesn't nurse a lot in the morning, so this works out well.<br><br>
But in the evening, even though I will be home to put her to bed, I imagine she would still want to nurse. Which would mean we are cutting out a nursing session (or two) for two days a week. I'm conflicted about this. I doubt she would be traumatized by it if I wasn't there, but still...<br><br>
I'm so confused. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
Part of the reason I feel conflicted is because I don't *need* to work, which makes me feel selfish. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> And everyone in real life says I should do it, but they just don't understand the inner conflict of a breastfeeding attached mother. Help!
 

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If you want to do it I would go for it. You can work out the details. It sounds like an ideal situation and it is great they are willing to work with you so much. Congrats!
 

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I found the worry about going back to work was much worse than the actual going back to work. I fretted and worried about how DS would deal with my absence, how the family would work, how daycare woudl be, but when the time came, it was just fine.<br><br>
(That having been said, my DS took to daycare like a fish to water, and so all the childcare worries I had just fell away. I was so incredibly lucky in that respect, it's something I feel was a true blessing.)<br><br>
In your situation, you have an incredible advantage: an employer who wants to work with you and the ability to quit if it doesn't work out. What is the worst that could happen if you took the job? It doesn't work out and you quit. So, from my perspective, I'd suggest taking it, but give yourself a three-month personal evaluation period. If, after three months, it isn't working, then quit. (I wouldn't give yourself only a one-month period, because it takes a month just to adjust to the schedule change. The first month is the hardest).<br><br>
Congratulations on getting a job offer so quickly! That's impressive!
 

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I'd do it, but on a trial basis like <b>Azuralea</b> suggested. If you don't like it or your DD isn't adjusting well, you can always quit.
 

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Congrats on the offer! Do what you really want to do, the details will work themselves out!
 
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