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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think it's time and necessary! People are starting to get nosy. I am sure it's b/c a lot of them care, whether or not their intentions and fears are misplaced, etc.

I am starting to get the questions, "So, have you hired a midwife yet?"

Yesterday, a friend was over and she keeps hounding me about checking my blood pressure, seeing someone, etc. She has very medically managed pregnancies and births and that's fine, but I don't.

Then she asks: "How do you know you don't have any complications if you haven't seen a midwife or doctor".

Really? Are you serious? Because I just know!

Then she asked, "How do you know you don't have gestational diabetes if you haven't taken the test?"

Really? Ummm, even if I was seeing a midwife, I'd refuse that test. I'm not drinking that crap!

That is what I said. She said, "I'm just asking" and dropped it.

Also, I don't feel like keeping myself. I don't want to feel I am keeping things secret b/c I care what others think. I actually think that is holding me back from being more confident. I am going to start blogging about my UP/UC!
 

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almost all of us UP/UCers get that. so annoying! I am lucky in one respect... everyone assumes that I must be abel to handle it b/c I have so much training from working at the hospital L&D for so long and b/c I'm a doula. lol... what they don't know is THAT is exactly WHY I'm NOT going to a hospital haha. it only taught me one thing - hospitals suck hehehe

but in general people bug me a little less b/c of that. so I'm grateful b/c whatever keeps them outta my ear I'm happy about. and others? I think they don'tknow me well enough and don't tend to go there. I'm weird about so many things why would they only worry about the UC? there is a whole list of things they don't get about me haha

anyhow, I blog a lot of my UP/UC things b/c I simply can't share them with friends and family. it helps me a lot.

www.hennypenne.lafianzoo.com
 

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I've been lying. People know I'm homebirthing this time but not UCing. Not worth worrying people over it or risking the stress. This is a stress free pregnancy and I need to keep it that way. I don't blame you for going into a bubble. I never left mine!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Laura, I'm going to check out your blog. I can PM you mine if you'd like. It's public, but I'm not ready to connect it to my MDC name for privacy reasons. I may later.

Lucia...I totally understand. I am a HORRIBLE liar! I just can't do it. But, I want to and keep thinking I will. I have considered going to a midwife for one appt so I can truthfully say, I've seen so and so. LOL.

I am just going to have to get my confident, "I don't care attitude" back like I had with my VBA2C 18 months ago! It was kinda crushed (my confidence) after the midwife dropped me at 42 wks and I ended up with a horrible CNM at the hospital and CPS called (b/c I was making her tired).

Anywho, so I am creating my bubble and pulling out my confident attitude again no matter who it upsets!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
oh, do i remember those days.

i just got mean.

seriously, i got to the point where i told people to shut it or go away.
: that is awesome! that is what i feel like doing. maybe i will. When ppl ask me the first question, like "When r u due?" I don't answer all sweet and excited. I try to stop it there.
 

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When are you due?

In October.

But what DAY?

Oh! On the baby's birthday


(GOSH I wish people left it at that. I always end up lying about that too, at least if I'm overdue people won't freak on me if they think my due date is 2 weeks before it really is LOL!)
 

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To "When are you due?"

"I'm not."

Then, "Okay, when is the baby due?"

"I'll know when s/he comes out to let me know."

And more "But when is the due date?"

"Dunno. Sometime in enter season." (month is too narrow for me and my babes
)

Usually by this point the questioner is annoyed with me or thinks I'm completely cracked and stops asking. That's good enough for me. I used to want to inform people, but now I'm just content that they leave me alone with private information. Seriously, I have thought about responding by asking when they last had sex, but I've always chickened out because most people are asking genuinely and wouldn't catch the correlation, and just be hurt.

To "Who's your OB/midwife?"

"I freebirth."

Then "What's that?"

"I enjoy the same intimate setting for birth that I did for conception."

That does it too. So quick. Nobody wants to talk about when the baby was conceived.


Is there a thread for responses to these common questions for freebirthers?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by PreggieUBA2C View Post

To "Who's your OB/midwife?"

"I freebirth."

Then "What's that?"

"I enjoy the same intimate setting for birth that I did for conception."

That does it too. So quick. Nobody wants to talk about when the baby was conceived.


Is there a thread for responses to these common questions for freebirthers?

Oh my gosh, I love this!!!! Great answer! I don't think there is a thread like that.
 

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If that isn't directly ripped of from Laura Shanley, it's derived. It was at her site that I first encountered this idea and it resonated deeply with both me and my dh, so we've been saying that ever since the imminent arrival of our third baby.

It is just precious to see the looks on people's faces when this comes out of my husband's mouth with me just smiling next to him. He loves saying it, so it's usually him who jumps on the opportunity.
 

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that is a lot like when we had our first daughter and my husband would speak out to anyone and everything about attachment parenting. He had all kinds of philosophical reasons why it was better for babies (he has his degrees in philosophy) so I just let him take it over. LOL!
And now when people day 'you're going to use CLOTH???' he will tell them all the great things about cloth. LOL!
 

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I'm weird about so many things why would they only worry about the UC? there is a whole list of things they don't get about me haha
QUOTE]

This made me laugh. Sounds just like my husband and myself. Our families know we are "weird" about so many things why would they question us UCing LOL. We still get some stupid comments (most of our family members are major hypochondriacs), thus we just told mostly everyone now that I am 6 months pregnant that we are expecting.

PreggieUBA2C, those responses are priceless LOL
 

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Yeah, I would never tell people about it, except for my friends who have UC'd for their own births. Too many negative emotions coming at you...not worth it. In my opinion, a white lie here will protect you and your baby. The negative stuff really really affects us, even if we don't believe it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Yes, I've been thinking though, wouldn't it be great if more mamas shared what they are going through. How are people ever going to learn? I've started a blog about it and I know ppl in my life, church, etc are starting to read it. I guess I can blog about it and go into hiding if I have to for a while.
 

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Yeah, we haven't even told anyone that we won't be having a hospital birth yet! We plan on just leaving it at "homebirth" with no mention of UCing because that's enough to bring out the WE'RE JUST CONCERNED brigade. Not really sure how I'll handle it once they find out. It's not really their business but I don't think they are aware of that, ha.
I'm glad I found this place so I can read about how other people handle these annoyances!
 
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