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Discussion Starter #1
I'm planning a weeklong cruise with girlfriends this September. DD will be about 16 months old. I am planning on pumping a couple times a day to keep up my supply, and DD will probably be getting both bm and cow's milk while I'm gone. Is there anything else I can do to make sure she doesn't wean while I'm gone? Did anyone take vacation away from DC and go right back to nursing when you returned? How often did your 16 month old nurse? I really want to do CWL, and I'd hate for my vacation to mess that up.<br><br>
(I asked this same question on a different forum and got a lot of questions as to why I would still want to nurse a 16 month old.... so not a lot of helpful answers there.)
 

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I know some momma's here will be able to help. Though I don't know if I could leave my babe personally, that is so very young. Hope you get some feedback.
 

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Honestly 16 months is just too young to be away for a full week.<br><br>
It could cause weaning, depends on your child's nursing style. But nursing or not, that's just too long for a baby that young.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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Don't have an answer, but I'm doing the same thing (respite cruise with DH- austism spectrum DS, hard year, we need a break). I've had some disparaging (sp?) remarks around here about leaving my (then)19m DD with Gramma and still not wanting her to wean. I just wanted to lend some support <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> .<br><br>
I'm pumping and leaving bottles with Gramma and I hope she'll return to the breast when I return (my DH thinks she will). I'm willing to risk it because we NEED the respite. Just make sure that you're ok with whatever the outcome. If you're really worried and don't really need the break, then maybe delay the trip. BUT-----if you have a strong nursing relationship, then probably your DC will return to the breast when you return.<br><br>
Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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I only know one person who took a trip when her nursing child was about that age. Her child weaned. Absolutely refused to nurse, despite repeated efforts by mom. Mom was really sad, especially because her trip was to be with her father who was undergoing quadruple bypass surgery. Not exactly a vacation.<br><br>
I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but you should know that weaning is a <i>very</i> real possibility in that situation.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bensmommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7930872"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm willing to risk it because we NEED the respite. Just make sure that you're ok with whatever the outcome. If you're really worried and don't really need the break, then maybe delay the trip. BUT-----if you have a strong nursing relationship, then probably your DC will return to the breast when you return.</div>
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Thanks for the support!!!<br><br>
We're going to start TTC when I get back in October, so this is kind of a break for me. I haven't been on vacation with girlfriends since college, and I barely have time to see them anymore. After this, I'll be either breastfeeding or pregnant or both for the next few (several?) years. (If I want 4 kids about 2 years apart and plan to do CLW....) So there is a reason for my trip, even if others might argue that it's selfish.<br><br>
DD is still nursing 6x a day now and 2-3x a night at 11 months. I'm hoping she'll still be going strong at 16 months and will continue to nurse when I return.
 

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I went on my first business trip when DD was 16 months. I was gone from Monday morning to Friday midday. I would consider pumping more than twice. I pumped 4x's a day and ended up with a clogged duct that was sooo painful. I never had to do anything special. DD weaned at 3.5 and the travel only dampened her nursing once when I went on a trip two weeks apart when she was two. I went on 14 trips (I think that is the count) from the time DD was 16 months and my last trip was in Feburary.
 

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I can only share my experience.<br>
There is no way my dd's could have handled me being gone for 1 week at that age. I night weaned my older one at 15 months and totally weaned her at 20 months ( I was pregnant). She still woke up at night, and was comforted by knowing I was there.<br><br>
My second dd was driving me CRAZY w/ the night nursing. Even so, I tried to night wean her at 18 months....did not work at all---crying hysterically. So we stopped trying for a few months and only at 2 years was she able to sleep all night w/out nursing. I even talked to a professional psychologist about it. And he recommended not pushing my dd before she was ready. Developmentally 16 months is very young.<br><br>
I have repeatedly read that non-nursing w/ mommy gone is really rough on child---both forms of connection and comfort and security are gone. A 16 month old can't comprehend that mommy will be back in a week----they just feel abandoned.<br><br>
I understand the need to get away. I really do--- especially since you want a large family, and this seems like a good time, but it's really not for your dd. 16 months is far too young. Could you go away for a weekend?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MommyDOK</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7932155"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I can only share my experience.<br>
There is no way my dd's could have handled me being gone for 1 week at that age. I night weaned my older one at 15 months and totally weaned her at 20 months ( I was pregnant). She still woke up at night, and was comforted by knowing I was there.<br><br>
My second dd was driving me CRAZY w/ the night nursing. Even so, I tried to night wean her at 18 months....did not work at all---crying hysterically. So we stopped trying for a few months and only at 2 years was she able to sleep all night w/out nursing. I even talked to a professional psychologist about it. And he recommended not pushing my dd before she was ready. Developmentally 16 months is very young.<br><br>
I have repeatedly read that non-nursing w/ mommy gone is really rough on child---both forms of connection and comfort and security are gone. A 16 month old can't comprehend that mommy will be back in a week----they just feel abandoned.<br><br>
I understand the need to get away. I really do--- especially since you want a large family, and this seems like a good time, but it's really not for your dd. 16 months is far too young. Could you go away for a weekend?</div>
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You are making a pretty broad statement there. If they have no capacity for time then why would they assume mom abandoned them. My DD never behaved like she was abandoned when I was gone. Do you have any child development information that indicates children suffer from abandonment at that age? My DD was used to me leaving her for 8-10 hours a day.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lyttlewon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7932303"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You are making a pretty broad statement there. If they have no capacity for time then why would they assume mom abandoned them. My DD never behaved like she was abandoned when I was gone. Do you have any child development information that indicates children suffer from abandonment at that age? My DD was used to me leaving her for 8-10 hours a day.</div>
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<br><br>
Um, I'm not talking about comforting a child for 8-10 hours and telling them mommy will be there soon, but for one whole week---that's 168 hours.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
More information...<br><br>
I will be going on a 7 day cruise. It just doesn't make sense for us to do a shorter cruise when you factor in airfare, and really, what is 2-3 extra days?<br><br>
DD is in daycare 5 days a week so she will be following the same routine as usual. The only difference is that I won't be there at lunch to nurse her, although I don't know how long that will continue anyway. I may start taking a shorter lunch and pick her up early.<br><br>
She is used to me being gone some nights. From October through March I curled Tuesday nights, so I didn't get home until after she was in bed. She did fine with that.<br><br>
How would she feel abandoned if most of her primary caregivers are still there? Her dad has left for long weekends, and she was always excited to see him when he got back, but she never seemed upset that he was gone.
 

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Thanks lyttlewon!! That's exactly the type of story I was hoping to hear. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MommyDOK</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7932353"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Um, I'm not talking about comforting a child for 8-10 hours and telling them mommy will be there soon, but for one whole week---that's 168 hours.</div>
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Yep and I have done both that is my point.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>angelachristine</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7936666"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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How would she feel abandoned if most of her primary caregivers are still there? Her dad has left for long weekends, and she was always excited to see him when he got back, but she never seemed upset that he was gone.</div>
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Wow- are you saying you don't think she'll NOTICE that mom is gone? If so, how sad.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7937537"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Wow- are you saying you don't think she'll NOTICE that mom is gone? If so, how sad.<br><br>
-Angela</div>
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Oh good grief. She said she doesn't think her dd will feel ABANDONED! Where did she say she doesn't think her dd will not notice? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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Discussion Starter #16
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7937537"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Wow- are you saying you don't think she'll NOTICE that mom is gone? If so, how sad.</div>
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That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm sure she'll notice I'm gone. I'm saying that a lot of people who love her will be around to distract her and comfort her and make sure she's okay. She's not being abandoned.<br><br>
I actually posted looking for advice on how to make this easier for her and to get stories of other moms who have been through the same thing. I never asked whether or not I should go on this vacation. That's already been decided.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7937537"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Wow- are you saying you don't think she'll NOTICE that mom is gone? If so, how sad.<br><br>
-Angela</div>
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In a standart relationship when dad works and mom SAH when dads leave on trips do you think kids feel abandoned then? I always hear this abandonment comment in regards to mothers. My DH and I have reversed gender roles. She much more upset when DH left her for the first time than she did me because he was her primary care giver.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lyttlewon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7937691"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">In a standart relationship when dad works and mom SAH when dads leave on trips do you think kids feel abandoned then? I always hear this abandonment comment in regards to mothers. My DH and I have reversed gender roles. She much more upset when DH left her for the first time than she did me because he was her primary care giver.</div>
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Right? Why is the abondonment comment always given when mothers want to take some time for themselves. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"><br><br>
DH and I are both primary caregivers. We both work full time, and we both parent full time in the mornings, evenings, and weekends. The only difference between us is that I can nurse DD, and he can't. She does just fine taking bottles of bm while I'm gone.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">In a standart relationship when dad works and mom SAH when dads leave on trips do you think kids feel abandoned then?</td>
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Yes, this is why I think the whole "abandoned! oh no!" argument is such a load of hooey, and a sexist one at that. My husband, who does primary care 1-2 days a week, has had to go out of town for a week or more. Did my son notice he was gone and miss him? Yes. Was he "abandoned," with his mother and grandmother here to care for him? No way.<br><br>
OP, I've had friends who have gone away for similar lengths of time with slightly older nursing toddlers. They continued nursing after the trips with no problem.<br><br>
That said, another friend is planning to use a trip as an actual weaning method. I don't know how that's going to go for her, but she wants to wean and feels like she has no other good options.<br><br>
So I guess be prepared for it to go either way, but you should definitely go on the trip and enjoy yourself!
 

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Best wishes to you on this difficult situation. A lot of us MDC-ers see an "ideal" and think you shouldn't leave your baby, but we don't know you or your situation. I just want to say good luck-I hope you're able to do this successfully! I think you should pump at least a few times each day while you're away, too. That will be important.<br><br>
In the end, you might go through all of this and then get pregnant and "dry up"!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
And I definitely know why you'd want to nurse a 16 month old! ( I nursed my first for 41 months and currently my "baby" is now 25 months.)<br><br>
much luv!
 
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