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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, I know allllll about the "Mommy Wars" (which I believe are largely propagated by the media). I know about SAHM vs. WOHM. I know about breast vs. formula. I know that I want to make a tee shirt that says, "Mind your own beeswax.<br><br>
Well, here's a new one! I was talking to my SIL today, who is amused/irritated at a cousin of hers. Apparantly, there is this thing among some women where you have to have a "theme" for your child's room, and it <span style="text-decoration:underline;">has</span> to be a "character theme" around the 3-5 year old age range. I guess that's all these women at a birthday party were talking about!<br><br>
Now, I know people do cute baby rooms, and even though I'm anti-character, not everyone is- whatever flips your skirt, right? Hoo boy. These women are a big group of friends, but are super competitive about the kids' rooms! My SIL was just going to go with some fun little boy junk without a theme, and they keep asking, "But what's the <i>THEME</i>? What's the <i>THEME</i>?" They can't figure out why my SIL is not doing a "theme." I need to add here that I adore my cousin-in-law, and she's super nice, but the most mainstream person on the planet. Her oldest daughter has had about three "theme" changes in the past couple of years. I'm dying to know where she puts all of the old character sheets, comforters, dust ruffles, lamps, pillows and knicknacks when it's time to "re-theme" the room?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> What else am I missing? What else are all the other mommies in the playground going to be flabbergasted over? Just how else do I need to brace myself? Should I print photocopies of the Consumerism and Children article in mothering a few months back and give it out at my baby shower in April?
 

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They will be flabbergasted by anything you do that's not mainstream and that makes them question their own parenting philosophies. It's truly sad that we all can't "just get along". I feel rather alienated over here because I am one of a few that does things the way I do. I was surprised to come across MDC.. I had never heard of mothering magazine. (no surprise there why would any of my doctor's offices have such a "controversial" magazine in their office?!) I really need to sub to the mag but haven't yet.. can't afford to but I will tell you finding this forum has opened my eyes to numerous possibilities and ideas. I probably never would have considered cloth diapering had it not been for MDC and I was always made to feel weird with how long I breastfed for. I did it proudly but sometimes when your family looks at you funny or asks when you are going to take the tit out of their mouth. Crude, huh? I was discussing my new dipes with my grandmother who cloth diapered her babies and she said to me she thinks I researched too much and that it isn't necessary to do all that I am doing.. or to have the sizes that I have one is good enough. It's so difficult to explain WHY I read like I do.. WHY I feel the need to be educated about things and WHY I feel the need to constantly question. There are many other things in my life that have been a natural progression in mothering but I am grateful to have found a place that I "belong" to moreso than I have ever anywhere else. Ok.. sorry I took over your thread to ramble and vent but I am in total agreement with you GOOD GRIEF indeed. As for themes in a bedroom my youngest is the only one that was ever really interested in a character (spiderman) and I NEVER made a room into that characters shrine. I suppose the fact that he sleeps in my bed and I would rather use the extra bedroom as my sewing and craft area might have a lot to do with it.. no not really because I can't justify paying the prices for that crap anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Oh don't apologize- these are all things I'm thinking, too!<br><br>
My SIL told me, "She just kept saying, "But what character? Why not SpongeBob? Or Thomas the Tank Engine?" She just couldn't wrap her mind around not having a character! My nephew just turned two, and has no idea who these characters are. He likes animals and trains, and vegetables.<br><br>
I am so lucky that my mom was into the whole breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baking her own bread thing when she was birthing and raising us. She and my sister are doing a shower for me in April when we go to NY for the last time before the baby's born (my and DH's whole families are there). She and my sister are very determined to not have any images of bottles, and want to keep it along the lines of what my beliefs are. My mom mostly agrees with my decisions, and if she doesn't, she always says that they are mine to make! I just know, though, that some other anti-AP/NFL reletives who will be there will be very baffled. It's going to be a day of polite tactfulness on my part.<br><br>
I just feel like- I'm very respectful of the myriad decisions people make, and only offer advice if asked. I just would love the courtesy of reciprocation.<br><br>
Clara
 

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I know the feeling.. I do give my opinions sometimes without being asked.. it's hard in my family we are all very opinionated. I also like to share when I learn something new. One good thing.. one of my cousins I grew up with definitely go for the more AP/NFL thing when she has babies because we are really close and she admires how I parent. My half-sister I have no chance in guiding her and she's preggers with her first and won't listen to me on ANYTHING. I find that really frustrating but keep stressing I won't judge her on her choices.. even when she judges me for some of mine. (my kids like to romp nakey and I see no problem with that and they like barefeet.. again why argue over something silly). My mother amazingly admires me for my choices and that I can stay strong in them but she's weak minded (lots of issues there) and as much as she admires my decisions she can't seem to see that far with my baby brother and sister. (bro is 11 and sis is 7) I was the only one she breastfed and she only did it for a few weeks or something like that. I can never get a straight answer out of either one of my parents. I was so upset with my grandmother (who raised me) today when she told me I "know too much"... how can someone ever know too much?! I would think she would be proud that she raised me to educate myself and to question things like I do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: It boggles the mind really. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Most of the time I can just shrug it off but I guess when I am pregnant it is harder to just let it go. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Oh Good Night! That is just crazy! Nevermind, that Spongebob is NOT appropriate for kids. My fil let my son watch it the other day because it was a "cartoon." I quickly vetoed that and had to explain to him that not all cartoons are safe. In fact, it is less likely to be safe if it is a cartoon.<br><br>
Benji's nursery was Venice as Twilight. I loved it. He had stars all over the walls and hand painted on a dresser, a picture of a Venetian canal lit by moonlight, and Venetian print bedding (found the fabric before we got pregnant). Is it any wonder that his first word was star? We are working towards doing the new room (we moved a year ago and poor kid has nothing decorative in his room) in all stars, planets, and moons. That will be his 3-5 year old room. He likes Thomas and has the sheets, but his whole room doesn't have to be so commercial. That is why I like making my own nursery/kid room bedding and stuff. I don't want his/the baby's room to look like every other room on the planet...thank you very much!<br><br>
Why can't we all just get along? Because...we are all insecure and want confirmation that we are doing it as well as or better than the rest.<br><br>
Nic- A friend of mine tells the story of how long her aunt bf her children. The family gave her grief over the kids being old enough to walk up and ask for it. Want to know how long she bf? She bf for 6 and 3 months! I got a little of the same reaction when I was still bf at a year. It was funny at Benji's first birthday party. He had a crazy day with his first cake, friends and family, and a mound of gifts. When people started leaving, he came up to me and signed milk. I knew then that I was doing the right thing. He had been given the world that day, but he only wanted his mommy and some of her milk. Ok...before I start full on crying.... I wish now that I had gone to two years, but we stopped somewhere in the middle.
 

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Mel I know that feeling too.. with each one of mine I have gone longer. My first I did NOT have the support in place. I was young and scared and I just couldn't latch him on. In part I blame my doctor and the hospital. I didn't see him most of the time we were there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I still tear up when I think of what I missed because I wasn't able to nurse him BUT whenever my baby boy had a bottle I held him cradled in my lap as close to me as I could. He NEVER had his bottle propped.. that disgusts me. sorry.. My second I nursed a year.. he was a constant nurser and I was just frazzled when I weaned him but I missed it shortly after. Aidan was bf for 2 yrs.. and we weaned because I had a couple nights were I drank alcohol (selfishly) and I felt terrible about it afterwards. He was "ready" but would have continued had I allowed it. My goal with this babe is to go as long as feels right. I dream about nursing a baby again.. it's such a special feeling and I truly feel bad for all those mama's and their babe that they have missed out on something so spectacular.. it's like no other feeling in the world. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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I know what you mean. I have friends who would get pg just to be pg again. No thanks on that one! I do not enjoy it, and I view pg as a necessary evil at times. I did tell my hubby many times that I would have another baby just to nurse a baby again. It is an incredible bonding experience! Also, when I have problems at the start with the next, I will know that I am capable of getting through them. I don't think it will be as traumatic for me next time.<br><br>
Oops! Sorry Clara...this is so OT.
 

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Being a bit left of center isn't easy in the real world. Even my closest friends give me funny looks when I talk about delayed vaxing, cloth diapering and attempting to bfar. My boys have airplane fabric curtains on their windows, and a variety of posters and fun things on their walls, and I can't imagine doing anything more than that.<br><br>
People tend to cling to those most like themselves, that's why within a close playgroup, most women will have similar parenting interests, etc. I always feel like the odd man out with early bedtimes!! But be prepared, it will only get more obvious and prevalent as your children get older. Different = obvious = incredulity. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's not. Ah, don't worry. Parenting is hard enough without having to listen to everyone else's opinions about how we should do it!
 

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My husband and I are known as the couple who do things a bit differently. Most people jusy accept it and say, 'Well they ARE artists' which somehow seems to appease them. But, last weekend we told my husband's aunt that we were planning on a hb and she burst out crying and scared the hell out of dh with horror stories of losing me!!! I had to reassure him with info for the longest time before he felt comfortable again. I know people mean well - but mind your own business!<br>
On the 'theme topic'...for my son's second birthday everyone kept asking me what theme I was planning. I had no idea what they were talking about but this one woman was adamant that I SHOULD have a theme or I would be seriously disobeying the rules. Every time I ran into her (mommy and me class) she would ask me if I had decided yet and even sent me e-mails with theme ideas. She really was trying to be helpful but in the end it made me feel so guilty that I actually went with a theme and made everyone else happy...never again. It felt so foreign.
 

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Oh geez, I'd be the laughingstock. My poor ds is in a plain room with very little decoration. Plus he's in a light lavendar room... we just don't feel the need to paint it from the previous owners.<br><br>
Even I feel guilty sometimes!<br><br>
LOL! I just truly don't need to spend my money on some things- and I really dont think ds minds at all.<br><br>
Jessica
 

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That's news to me! My poor, deprived children have animal murals on their wall, but they're not specific characters. Plus, their sheets don't match the walls. Do you think I should start saving for therapy now? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DoulaClara</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">These women are a big group of friends, but are super competitive about the kids' rooms!</div>
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Well jeez, I can only imagine their reaction if I was to tell them my kids don't have a theme, because they don't have their *own* bedrooms, they still sleep in our bedroom and *GASP* our bed!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">:<br><br>
It's funny how some people get twitchy and competitive over the craziest things. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DoulaClara</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7267364"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm dying to know where she puts all of the old character sheets, comforters, dust ruffles, lamps, pillows and knicknacks when it's time to "re-theme" the room?</div>
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Ebay<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> What else am I missing? What else are all the other mommies in the playground going to be flabbergasted over? Just how else do I need to brace myself? Should I print photocopies of the Consumerism and Children article in mothering a few months back and give it out at my baby shower in April?</td>
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You are missing nothing. They're dumb. The article sounds like a great idea. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Theme-the price anyone pays for those room set-ups just astounds me, unless they got them on great great sale prices.<br>
Anyhow, ds doesn't have a "theme" I don't think. We decorated his room in various surf stuff and fishies so that it will last him for a few years. We got the bamboo wall from home depo garden center, the fish stick ups from target, I just made curtains from walmart fabric and that's really about it. I wouldn't say it's themed though, just a tropical room that goes with the flow of our house, only a little more kiddie.
 

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That's ridiculous. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Just start building up your group of like minded mommas so you don't have to put up with chatter like that.
 

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Um, DS doesn't have a room. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> We live in a small 2 bedroom apt and I was really surprised that people expected us to make the 2nd bedroom into a room for the baby! I was like, um, why does a baby need a whole room?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> (the 2nd room is DH's and my office). I contented myself with a cute quilt with animals on it for his side-carred crib, and then spent the rest of the time rearranging the living room to make room for his bookshelf and toys. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> When we finally get a house (maybe another year-and-a-half) DS and the baby will share a room (though will still sleep with us) and we'll probably just continue with the animal/nature "theme"-- though really we all just like animals and that's where it came from. I'd never consider doing a character room!<br><br>
OT-- Mel, that "venice at night" theme sounds gorgeous for a baby room. What a great idea!
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I like the venice at night, and ocean room ideas, too! I was thinking of changing up the pictures on the wall and little things we do seasonally (like, have summery stuff, and fall, and wintery...) just so the baby has new things to look at when I change diapers, or go on a walk through the house ("Look! There's a ladybug! It's red and has black spots! Look how shiny!")<br><br>
Even character sheets, if that's a kid's cup of tea, is fine. I just can't get over how frantic my cousin-in-law is: "It has to be a THEME!"
 

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BAH on themes. My kids change their likes and dislikes so fast I'd be decorating every week! We've got airplanes, birds, dinosaurs, cars, trains, sports and music all in one room. They boys are about to share a room here in the next few months, and my oldest has informed me that he wants all of his pictures "up high", so he can see them from the top bunk. He's also request a shelf to store his precious items, like his LeapPad and other toys that the toddler doesn't exactly treat gently. So the room will be quite a sight. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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How come I can't post a pic? I was going to put 2 up, but it says I can't do attachments. Do I have to have so many posts or be a member for a certain time?
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bbrandonsmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7277581"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How come I can't post a pic? I was going to put 2 up, but it says I can't do attachments. Do I have to have so many posts or be a member for a certain time?</div>
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Post it through photobucket or shutterfly or one of the photo hosting places. You can't post directly to the forum.
 
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