More and more, for us (DH, me, the kids) I'm seeing diet as a dynamic process. We got into this (making dietary changes) for our health needs, and I'm starting to realize that we may be fiddling with things for a few years, to give each of us what we need to get back to a state of reasonable good health. For us, the biggest test is whether we feel better. The kids and I are definitely better gluten-free, so we consume less grains than the typical US diet, but I think DH may need a while completely grain-free, so we're going to do that probably for the remainder of the year (as I learn to transition into it). I think eventually we'll be able to add in at least some fermented grains and legumes (would love to add idlis in) and maybe soaked grains, but I'm not sure gluten will ever work (maybe it will, just a few years down the road before we can see).
I think grains can work for some people, depending on their health status, and on what particular health issues they are prone to. I see a lot of differences between myself and DH as to what our health strengths and weaknesses are, so I think grains would always tend to be more problematic for him than for me--but I think that I can probably get us both to good enough health that we can consume at least some. Though as a practical matter, I'm finding so many tasty-looking grain-free recipes out there that by the end of this, we'll probably settle on less grains anyway just because there's so much great food in the world that I've overlooked before this.