[MayBaby2007]

I'm not against tv, completely. I watch tv. DD and I play while I watch tv and she'll pay attention if there's music or a kid involved...but she's not "into" tv, and I'm glad. I have basic cable--like 10 channels and no "cartoon" channels, except PBS early in the morning.

My gramma has cable "on demand" and found this kids show called "Bedbugs" for dd to watch. She's always catering to dd, when it comes to tv. If there's a kid cartoon on or whatever, she'll turn it on for dd. Since dd isn't there much, it doesn't bother me too much. DD freaking loves Bedbugs. It's geared towards preschool age and it is educational. DD sings and dances with them--just loves them. When she spends the night at gma's house, the first thing she does in the morning is asks for Bedbugs.

Gma wants me to get dvd's for my house. I was going to do it, as dd really loves this program. (So much so that she asked for Bedbugs twice at my house and when she couldn't have them, thew a fit). But the more I thought about it, I decided not to do it. DD entertains herself at my house w/o tv. I don't want to take that away from her, yk? She pretends to feed her baby dolls or stuffed kitty, helps me with the laundry and dishes, wheels her baby's around in their stroller, colors, etc etc. Why would I want to bring these Bedbugs into my house to turn her into a zombie, right?

So I told gma I wasn't going to get the dvd's for my house, for all the reasons I just mentioned. I told her, "BB can be a special thing that dd has at only your house." She won't let it go. She keeps telling me how much dd loves them. She told me, "If you get Bedbugs for your house, maybe dd won't want to watch them so much when she's here (implying she needs a break from the annoying show)." I told her to tell dd the BB are sleeping. After awhile of not giving in to the BB, dd will forget about them. When me/dd are at gma's and she asks for them, that's what I do. I tell her, "BB are sleeping right now." She puts her finger to her lips and says "shhhh" (cuz they're sleeping). And then she plays. No biggie.

Anyway. I feel like caving....for some reason. So that I don't have to hear gma tell me I should get the dvd's every day, maybe? I'm tired of it. And I don't understand. Why suppress imagination and active play at my house? She told me last night she was going to break out the Christmas movies next week for dd to watch. I don't like the tv being "for" dd...but she's not at gma's much and it works for them. But I don't want it at my house. (I've seriously considered getting rid of the tv all together. I think I will do it if dd gets too involved with tv).

I dunno. I just don't understand my gma. And to have Bedbugs shoved down my throat on a daily basis is really starting to tick me off, especially after I've told her the reasons for my decision.

Should I just let dd have these Bedbugs at my house? Am I being a mean parent? The kid does love them. Or should I stick to my decision?

 

[LuxPerpetua]

Many kids don't turn into zombies while watching a show that engages them. It sounds like from your description that your daughter is fairly active while watching this show, so I really wouldn't worry about the zombie-effect yet, especially if someone is watching with her and talking to her about what she sees. TV isn't, from my experience, as black and white/good and evil as people like to make it (which you have acknowledged yourself in your post).

That being said, though, I do totally understand where you're coming from. We are essentially a TV-free household (no cable, and just a few DVDs that we occasionally watch, like when dd's really sick) and my parents, whom dd sees just about every day, are your typical TV-addicted Americans. Thankfully, they generally respect our wishes and have the TV off at their place but sometimes my mom wants to watch a cooking show with dd, or lately it's been the seasonal Charlie Brown specials. I try and let it slide, as I know that my mom is watching with her and they interact a lot during the show (and the shows are relatively short). It still bothers me but, hey, I can't control the world so I just have to sigh and bite my tongue.

I think you are handling your situation very well. I would hold off on the DVD myself, and as you already told grandma, let it be a "grandma's house thing." I think if it keeps getting brought up you should just thank grandma for her concern (validating her feelings) and then just restate what you've said already. I'd also be open and honest about your concerns with her, if you are able to do that. My experience is that if you are a broken record people will eventually get the point. I have found that a lot of people who watch TV regularly just have difficulty understanding people who don't. I wish there was a way for them to realize that, no, we aren't being deprived of anything

but I've kind of lost hope on that one.

 

[sugarlumpkin]

I think you should stick to your guns. Your reasoning is sound. And DD is your child. You can make decisions concerning her tv watching without being constantly pressured into changing your mind!

Perhaps your child should take a break from hanging out with your Grandmother? That way perhaps your Grandmother can establish a different routine for the next time they are together (no more Bedbugs...). Maybe they can do something more imagination based (like sewing or making something together). Maybe you can spend time with the two of them (perhaps at your house) so your Grandmother can see your daughter being herself, and being herself without tv as an entertainment.

But I am pretty anti-tv, so maybe my advice means nothing for your situation.