[PiperLime]

My DS is 15 mo; my dad watches him on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons for about 3 hours each day while I work towards my degree. During this time, they watch TV together, usually kid shows. I don't know if I should let it go or not but it really bothers me! My dad won't do anything differently; I've mentioned it to him before and backed up my request with articles, etc. but he won't budge. At the moment, I don't have anywhere else to bring DS. I've thought about doing a sitting-swap or something if I can find another AP mom in the area but haven't followed through yet. What do you think? Should I relax a bit or is it really as detrimental for DS as I think it is? Advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

 

[MeepyCat]

I'd let it go.

I don't love the notion of three solid hours of tv either, but I weigh that against a reliable care arrangement with a loving grandparent. If kids are interacting over, during, and about a viewing experience, it's not the mind-numbing experience that it would otherwise be.

Also, is there a chance that your dad is just not sure what to do with a toddler that age, and might expand the range of activities as your DS grows and the weather improves? What would happen if you dropped your DS off and mentioned how much fun you'd had looking at flowers, or that he was really excited about the swings at the park? Does your DS have toys at your dad's house (or is this happening at your house)? At about this age, we played very simple ball games with our kids, either sitting on the floor and rolling balls back and forth, or rolling a ball for the kid to go get (yes, we played Fetch with our children). If you taught your DS these games, and then showed off his new skills to your dad, would your dad pick them up and play?

 

[PiperLime]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeepyCat

I'd let it go.

I don't love the notion of three solid hours of tv either, but I weigh that against a reliable care arrangement with a loving grandparent. If kids are interacting over, during, and about a viewing experience, it's not the mind-numbing experience that it would otherwise be.

Also, is there a chance that your dad is just not sure what to do with a toddler that age, and might expand the range of activities as your DS grows and the weather improves? What would happen if you dropped your DS off and mentioned how much fun you'd had looking at flowers, or that he was really excited about the swings at the park? Does your DS have toys at your dad's house (or is this happening at your house)? At about this age, we played very simple ball games with our kids, either sitting on the floor and rolling balls back and forth, or rolling a ball for the kid to go get (yes, we played Fetch with our children). If you taught your DS these games, and then showed off his new skills to your dad, would your dad pick them up and play?

You're right, they're interacting and bonding during that time, and they'll get up and cook together and "wrestle" a little bit too. DS and grandpa have a really close relationship.

It's a great idea to mention something that we have done that DS likes, instead of suggesting they go for a walk or something. They're over at his place during the afternoon; I can stay for a little bit after dropping him off and model some simple games. It may be too much for me to expect for an aging grandpa to get down on the floor and play with a toddler for any amount of time! Thanks so much for your advice.

 

[rubelin]

I wouldn't harp on the TV watching - my kids have watched SO much TV when I haven't had someone else to help me (I've worked from home for 11 yrs, been single 5 yrs, was always alone with them during the day before that) and, while I prefer that grandparents do something other than TV, I tend towards accepting help in whatever form it looks like

However, I would suggest that you bring some games/toys that your DS is really into that Grandpa could help him with and maybe even find some videos (shows or movies) that you're ok with so at least you'll know what they are watching together. Our family has loved Kipper, Curious George (though mostly the first season), Peep & the Big, Wide World, plus there's lots of other PBS shows that are really great which are age-appropriate as well as not being only simple mind fluff. We always lean towards movies or dvds of shows we like, so at least they don't watch commercials, plus it makes for breaks in the viewing when a show ends after 20 minutes =)