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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi mamas!<br><br>
I have been lurking on these boards for awhile, and just wanted to say that i am truly thankful that you are here.<br><br>
My son is 9 months old and we are still nursing . I LOVE being able to nourish him the way nature intended, and would not change it for the world. I have great support from my husband , who thinks the longer the baby nurses, the better off he is.<br><br>
Sadly, i am already getting questions from my MIL about when i am going to feed him "regular" milk, and a very pleased-sounding "Time's almost up!" from her when i say "a year". I tell everyone a year, but i know we will go as long as my little man wants to. My sister even tells methat she thinks when a baby "is old enough to ask for it" then he will be too old to nurse anymore. WE still have three months to go til his "deadline" and i am already feeling horrible anxiety about the negativity we will face when his birthday comes and goes and he's still nursing. My MIL has always been uncomfortable with BFing and most of our parenting choices such as co-sleeping, etc. I can't understand why anyone would feel negatively about BFing a baby! What a crazy world we live in that something as wonderful and natural as nursing could a "bad" thing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I love being able to come to the Mothering boards and read all the posts from everyone. i Feel supported and so thankful that you're here. It is so nice to get some positivity about something that should NEVER be negative to begin with!<br><br><br>
Cheers!
 

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Welcome, Faeriemama! I'm fairly new here, too, and I also have been so blessed by the wisdom and encouragement the other moms here have given me.<br><br>
My ds is 19 months now, and I'm expecting #2 in March. I'm "STILL" nursing ds, and plan to continue as long as he wants. My IL's (esp. my MIL and SIL) are not impressed. They have no use for bfing. I remember them sitting in our hospital room when ds was born, with me trying desperately to get this little guy properly latched, and they were talking about this person and that person who'd <gasp!> bfed for 6 months!! And then there was that one person they knew who was still bfing, and the kid could ALREADY WALK (but you know, that family was always a bit strange...)!!<br><br>
It was so surreal to be listening to all this, knowing that I had every intention to pursue child-led weaning. But, over the months, they've given up, thankfully. Now all I get is rolled eyes and exasperated looks. Of course it helped when we announced that we are planning a homebirth with #2.....SIL is a L&D nurse, and her outrage (that MIL picked up on) about the idea of homebirth was enough to make them forget all else....at least, for awhile! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Anyway, I found that one thing that helped end their comments early on, and helped me keep a sense of humor and not get worked up about their ignorance, was this response:<br><br>
When anyone asks "How much longer are you going to breastfeed?" I look down at ds, smile, and say, "Oh, he's probably about finished....give him another 10 minutes or so!"<br><br>
I don't remember where I first read that (Maybe in <i>So, That's What They're For!</i> ) but it works like a charm! Especially when given in combination with a big, wide-eyed innocent look! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Good luck to you, and be proud of yourself for doing what's right for your little man!<br><br>
Sarah, SAHM to Elisha (02/28/02) and expecting our 2nd miracle (03/25/04)
 

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DS is 11.5mo now and sometimes people ask me how long we'll nurse. I usually tell them, "until DS is ready to quit. I'm sure he'll figure it out when he's ready," kinda implying my son's smart enough to wean himself and if you contradict me, you're telling me my son's stupid. No one's had an answer for that. =)<br><br>
The other wonderfully sarcastic answer I've heard is, "well, it'll be hard finding a house next to his college, but I'm sure we'll find a way." =)
 

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Faeriemama, it amazes me how a MIL can put her own hang ups and comfort level ahead of her grandsons longterm health. Maybe you can give her a few "deadlines" - like she has until grandson is 1 year to educate herself OR learn to hold her tongue so you can 'enjoy' her visits rather than it making you feel bad and anxious. It would be a real shame if your son has to hear comments like that from his gm.
 

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Way to go for nursing your child! Would it help take the pressure off one-year if you started using some of the comebacks mentioned (until college, about 10 minutes, etc) instead of setting up a deadline you don't intend to meet? Or maybe share with your in-laws "New" information from AAP or WHO about the benefits of breastfeeding beyond one or two years? I used the "we'll wean before college" comment with great success<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I can totally relate. My DS is only 2.5 months, and we get the worst looks from DH's family. I never see other mother's nursing in public around here, and, allthough I am not shy about it, I wonder how it will feel when he is old enough to walk and wants to NIP.... It bothers me that no one says a word about a 2 year old with a bottle or a pacifier, but, if they are nursing at 12 months, everyone thinks there is something wrong....
 

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My mother has been hugely supportive of my breastfeeding dd (10 mo), but has recently expressed that she doesn't support extended BF (only nursed me 6 mo). Now when she asks how long we plant to BF, I simple say, "We've already started the weaning process." What I'm referring to is the fact that we've introduced solids, which actually is the first step in weaning. While I'm not planning on weaning anytime soon, usless dd initiates it, this answer implies that we've already begun. There's not a whole lot anyone can say, unless they really want to be aggressive and challenge how you're weaning.
 

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Suzanne,<br><br>
Great point! I'd never thought of it that way, but you're totally right -- the introduction of solids has to be the first step of the weaning process. I'm going to keep that retort in mind for when I get the question of "how much longer are you going to bf" and I just don't want to get into it.<br><br>
By the way -- my response to "does Karen sleep through the night yet?" is "Karen sleeps really well at night." Notice I don't really answer the question. I've found that most people don't realize it and I can get avoid the conversation if I'm not feeling like a long discourse on sleep, breastfeeding, cosleeping, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thank you all for your kind words and support!<br><br>
I suppose, for me, what it comes down to is becoming more assertive. I have always been a SUPER non-confrontational person, and i am having to learn to bring out my "mama bear-ness" when i get all the disaproval in regards to how i am raising my DS. I love my MIL dearly, and i know in her mind that she only has good intentions...she does not realize how she makes me feel. In the end, we are going to do exactly what we feel is best for DS regardless of how much anyone disapproves....and i am learning how to stand up for what i think is right too! VCOming here is good for me. It really helps to know that i am not alone, or crazy! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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