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117 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
OMG! I approached one of our DC teachers about being a nanny...she's interested! Now what do I do!??!?!? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
My kids have just transitioned out of the infant room in the day care center, and she was the lead teacher there. She's been there 5 years and she's SOOOO wonderful, has known them for over a year, and they're very attached to her. We had gotten closer after she had a miscarriage and I talked to her about my experiences wtih m/cs, and she mentioned she was ready for a job change and I mentioned I would love to have her as my kids' nanny. She just told me today that she's interested.<br><br>
So now I need to bone up on all the nanny stuff! I did look up the tax stuff right after I mentioned it to her, so I know we can do that stuff. She will get health insurance through her partner. So we have to figure out $. We have to figure out car stuff. Writing out expectations, job description, responsibilities, etc. Membership to the Y, activities, etc.<br><br>
So what do mamas who use nannies do? Do you have an extra car for the nanny to use or does she use her own car? Do you pay her for mileage for her own car? Any car insurance issues?<br><br>
Any thoughts about how much we should pay her over the going rate for nannies in our area? Twins, she's OCCS certified, many years experience, etc. It is a part-time job though.<br><br>
What kind of stuff did you put in writing in the beginning? What are her responsibilities? I don't want to give her much above child care--taking care of twin toddlers is a CONSTANT job so I don't expect her to do the laundry, LOL. But what should I put in writing?<br><br>
How about activities and memberships? Should I pick activities I'd like them to do and if they sound good to her sign her up and pay for them or should I give her an "activity" budget and let her decide what to do with them (of course I'd expect her to tell me)? Do you have her included on your family memberships to places like the Y?<br><br>
She's got really amazing qualifications, and she's become a really important part of our lives in the past year--I really feel like the name "nanny" doesn't do her role justice. Anyone have a better name for an in-home child care provider? We've joked that she (and the other infant room teachers) are "our village people" (as in, "it takes a village...") but that's a little oblique, LOL.<br><br>
Anything else I should think about? Tips, suggestions, web links?<br><br>

1,777 Posts
We've never had a nanny but we had an au pair for six months. Here were the basics beyond salary:<br><br>
* we paid car insurance for her but in that case we controlled the car. Perhaps you could reimburse her mileage for child-care related driving (but not her commute to your place and home). You might want to consider the double carseat issue--would she have to remove and install carseats every day she works? Maybe offer to get two carseats for her car? (Unless you have Britaxes--ouch $!)<br><br>
* we put her on our fitness club membership because we wanted her to take our son to various kid activities. it was a perk for her to be able to go on her off-time as well for personal activities<br><br>
* we chose the memberships and such (i.e. museums, farm, etc.) in our area, but she wasn't familiar with the area. we paid for her to be on these.<br><br>
We also gave her a $20 phone card each month (to call home)and she used our cell phone for emergencies--took it with her only when she was on duty with our son. So maybe you want to give her a cell phone for use on duty.<br><br>
If she's that great, make it worth her while to stick around and pay her WELL. Outline her regular work hours, detail what constitutes overtime (and how she'll be compensated). Being a nanny is different from working in a center, where structure is imposed by virtue of so many kids. Giving her a more structured outline for the first month or two might be a good idea a) to help her transition (and the kids too) and b) so she gets to experience a full range of what they and you and your partner consider "life" to be like. Reevaluate things after 60 days or so, have a sitdown with her, and see if she likes the structure, wants less of it, whatever.<br><br>
Give her copies of your favorite parenting books and ask her to read them as well, so she understands things like (for instance, not that YOU use these) Sears, The Continuum Concept, 1-2-3 Magic, Babywise (kidding!), whatever. Just a few books--three or four.<br><br>
Make sure she understands how you discipline, calm a tantrum, handle pain. Make sure she knows that you WANT to know about difficult situations she faces with the twins, so you can all work together on solutions.<br><br>
For household stuff, I think it's reasonable to ask that whatever messes the kids make when she's on duty should be cleaned up before she hands them off to you. Whatever meal preparation messes should be cleaned up as well. Au pairs can be asked to handle ALL kid laundry, and we asked for that as well--separated out our son's laundry--but nannies might be different. Then again, laundry is one of the few things you can generally do while watching kids--one load per day? We wound up allocating an extra, paid, 15 minutes at the end of duty time for our au pair to clean up kid-related messes (though she didn't--grr...that's one of many reasons why a one year contract became only 6 months, but i don't want to hijack a thread... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ).<br><br>
She'll be in your house, so make sure that anything private isn't laying around that you don't want her to see (like bank statements, investments, porn, etc.). We're a very laid back family and kept forgetting about bank statements.<br><br>
Have a weekly meeting to discuss things--don't just assume that it'll all go well. Be businesslike--it's always easier to loosen up than to tighten down.<br><br>
Good luck!<br><br>

2,103 Posts
We had a nanny that we hired from our daycare--but only with permission from the director because when we enrolled our children we signed a letter stating we would not lure the employees into our own employ. So you might want to check that for starters.<br><br>
We called an agency for the going rates, explaining what we expected from her--not live in, hours were from 6:15 a.m. to 4:30 p.m (although we were generally home just after 3:30), used her own car with our car seats to take ds to preschool and pick him up twice weekly (about a mile away). We expected her to get the children dressed, feed them nutritious snacks along with breakfast and lunch, provide educational activities for at least one hour each day, allow no more than 30 minutes of television throughout the day, and clean up any dishes or messes generated by the children. They were 1 and 3. We were told that the going rate was $70/day and we paid her closer to $80/day, so above the going rate.<br><br>
Honestly, it did not work out for us at all, which was sad, because she'd been with ds for two years at the daycare when we hired her. I realized belatedly that she was much better under the direct supervision of an employer than she was at devising her own schedule and that of the children. But it was nice to not have to drag the children out every morning, and they were very happy with her. She was always loving and kind to them I believe.<br><br>
Good luck!

3,626 Posts
Gurumama gave all sorts of great advice (and is much more together, it appears, than I am - jeez!). Our nanny has her own car and insurance. We agreed to pay her the going IRS reimbursement rate for mileage, but it usually ends up being more laid-back than that (she rarely drives dd anywhere, so I'll generally give her $5 or $10 after she's gone a couple places, which usually works out to substantially more than what she would've got had I stuck with the letter of the agreement). We're out in the relative boonies, and don't have health club memberships, so all that is moot for us. The decent museums and so forth are all in Houston, 25 miles away.<br><br>
Our nanny is very experienced, and has cared for dd since she was 3 months old, so there wasn't really any need to impose any structure on the day (other than that dictated by dd's nap schedule and so forth). She and I share ideas for activities and games informally. Much of dd's day is dictated by what dd wants to do (go for a walk, go to the park, draw inside or play with balls or make-believe games, or go swimming in the wading pool, or what have you). I agree that it might be different in your case, as your children are toddlers, and your nanny-to-be is used to having a structure.<br><br>
Having a cell phone for your nanny to use while with the children is a good idea (as long as everyone understands how it may and may not be used, etc.).<br><br>
I second making sure as best as possible in advance that you and your nanny see eye-to-eye on issues of discipline, what to do re injuries, responsiveness to the children, oversight, etc. It sounds like you probably have this situation under control already.<br><br>
As for pay, check at a couple agencies. It varies. And though it sounds like you already do, do make sure you have the tax situation under control (both income and unemployment taxes, filing schedules and the rest).<br><br>
Good luck, and congratulations!

554 Posts
I think all the other mama's covered everything. We had 2 nanny's that worked for us until dd was 18 months old. They were both terrific. The first one started when dd was 11 weeks old, so there wasn't much structure to the day. I did, however, have her keep a daily log outlining how much ebm dd drank, bowl movements, how long they were outside, etc. As dd got older and started eating solids, she would write down how much she ate and which foods she liked. The log book was a great way to stay on top of things that I would forget to ask her when I came home from work.<br><br>
We also had an extra cell phone that we gave her to use. It was just basic service and it was to be used for emergency purposes. sometimes, I would call to check on things or to let her know I was coming earlier.<br><br>
By the time our second nanny started (the first one was pregnant and had a baby) DD was almost 12 months old, so there was more structure to her day. I would type out a schedule for dd and update it every couple of months, adding or taking out certain acitivites. Usually, it consisted of our nanny taking her to the park and to the local playgroup, getting her to bed on time and making sure she was fed nutritious foods. Every so often, I would print out some parenting tips from or other parenting boards, that talked about what developmental stage dd was at or how to handle certain situations. Both of our nanny's were Russian, so I didn't ask them to read too much. Instead, I would print out some articles and then discuss them with her. Also, if I read something interesting in a baby book, I would tell them.<br><br>
Our nanny didn't drive, but we eventually allowed her to take dd on public transportation to get to a local playgroup down the street. We paid for the programs and I gave her extra bus and food money. They also went to the library about every other day.<br><br>
since then, we have moved out of the city and I'm in the process of hiring a new PT nanny right now, since I am only working pt. She will be with us only for 2 days and will be bringing her 2 year old with her. I plan on enrolling both her dd and mine at the local park district for open gym. Also, any other activities would be paid by us. We haven't determined the driving situation, since I haven't had to deal with it so far. Everything is very close by, so I think that I will just reimburse her for mileage every couple of weeks. Also, I will let her use the cell phone, especially since she will be driving the girls around.<br><br>
The most important thing is to establish clear lines of communication and feel comfortable with the person watching your kids. We became very good friends with both of our nanny's and hopefully, we will with our new pt nanny.<br><br>
It sounds like you have a great person, so I hope it works out with her! Good Luck!<br><br>
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