[ShadowMom]

My DS turned one on 12/3 and because he is teething, he wakes up a lot at night. Poor guy! I am just convinced it is teething - at 3.5 months, he would wake up once at night, and now he wakes up several times and thrashes around and cries and stuff.

Anyway, I have had SO many people at work (not to mention DH) tell me to "just let him cry" and how "he's got you trained!" As if a 1 year old has such sophisticated manipulation skills.

:

And, is that the LEAST heplful thing to say to someone who's not getting any sleep, or what? I mean, I don't get 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night, I don't need people making "helpful" suggestions like that - I need sympathy!

DS has 13 teeth, and I believe they only get 20 baby teeth... so when all 20 are in I am going to have the last laugh! mwahahahahahaha!

Thanks for letting me vent.

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[stafl]

at least you know that you can come here and NOBODY would ever dare to recommend CIO!

for some reason, nobody is brave enough to mention, much less recommend to me any parenting approach that I disagree with... :LOL I must say I get really outspoken and passionate when it comes to my kids and what I feel is best for them.

 

[Galatea]

I am sorry that these people give you this sort of crap. I am happy not to have any unsolicited advice - I think I scare people and no one wants to challenge me!

 

[SirPentor]

Next time someone gives you unsolicited, unresearched, unhelpful advice, try the following:
1) Cock-punch them. Really, any quick punch to a sensitive area will do.
2) Let them "cry-it-out."

On a serious note, things like this really drive me crazy. Fortunately the people I know know better than to give me advice of that nature. That is mostly true for my wife as well. We've had to train our families a little, but it's turned out OK.

Hope things improve.

 

[hallesmom]

Man, oh, man...how freakin annoying. What is with people anyway-they aren't the ones loosing sleep...well maybe your DH is...but not nearly as much as you I'm sure.

No one suggests that for us either....One time MIL did when DD was less than 2 months old and I put her in her place....not a word since. Seriously, if that is what you have to do-do it.

 

[Jaimep]

He says, OH yeah and next time my wife is emotional and is upset. I am just going to let her cry it out. Tell her to just "get over it" and go to sleep.

He also says about spanking " yeah next time my wife doesn't do what I ask I am just gonna slap her. I mean, she has to learn right?

I don't get why people tell you to do something to a BABY that you wouldn't do to your own spouse!! INSANE!!

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[MamaPear]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirPentor Next time someone gives you unsolicited, unresearched, unhelpful advice, try the following: 1) Cock-punch them. Really, any quick punch to a sensitive area will do. 2) Let them "cry-it-out."

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[ashleep]

I was LMAO at this too:

Quote:

Next time someone gives you unsolicited, unresearched, unhelpful advice, try the following: 1) Cock-punch them. Really, any quick punch to a sensitive area will do. 2) Let them "cry-it-out."

On the rare occasion that someone has mentioned this to me, (usually just a childless friend that hasn't given it any thought) they change their mind really quickly when presented to them like this:

Quote:

He says, OH yeah and next time my wife is emotional and is upset. I am just going to let her cry it out. Tell her to just "get over it" and go to sleep.

We're visiting the inlaws tomorrow for the first time since dd was born, and I'm really hoping they don't advocate CIO. It will not be a pleasant conversation.

I hope you and your little man get some sleep soon

 

[guestmama9972]

I was inspired by an editorial that Peggy O'Mara wrote in which she said about a crying baby at night, "Go to your baby. Go to your baby a million times". I hear that in my head on nights when I just want SLEEP and the baby is teething and needs comfort. I love that advice and I just say that you are doing the right thing, Mama!

 

[musingmama]

yes, teething is most likely the culprit- ds and I have gone through that!!!!!
and I totally have sympathy

only a sleep deprived mama can really understand, don't spend any wasted time or energy listening to others about that, they just can't understand, and maybe they let their kids cio, but then you could see the results if you see them w/ their kids, they lose trust and closeness. they can never get that back. its sad.
I know it is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard for you!~ hang in there mama! at least you know you are not alone, and sleep will get better!
as far as dh, sounds like you really need to communicate why you are doind what you feel is right and he need s to respect that!
ds is not training you, he is not manipulating you, you are the most special person in the world to him, so you are best able to comfort him because of that. He is being a healthy babe, coming to mama in time of pain and discomfort, not internalising it. He will grow up to be a healthy trusting person able to be intimate with other adults he is close to.
just follow your heart mama! you know better than anyone else how best to raise dc!

 

[sleepless-in-texas]

To Kristimetz -
My daughter was born 12/30/03 and has no teeth. I envy you! She's very miserable, especially at night, and I get the same "helpful" advice to let her cry it out. May I ask what the "it" in "cry it out" means to these people?
Does anyone know?

 

[musingmama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sleepless-in-texas To Kristimetz - May I ask what the "it" in "cry it out" means to these people? Does anyone know?

i don't really know, but something like their spirit and trusting heart? IMO

 

[TiredX2]

Quote:

May I ask what the "it" in "cry it out" means to these people? Does anyone know?

I think it's their evilness and self-centeredness

 

[EviesMom]

Hmmm... Most of my friends aren't cio people, generally, and the few who are wouldn't dare tell *me* to do that because they know what a debate it would start. So the only people who advocate cio are distant relatives and weird strangers. They ask if I'm getting much sleep and if she sleeps through the night and I just tell them I'm fine with the amount of sleep I get and that she's a great sleeper except when she's teething. (I don't bother to tell such people that we cosleep either; nor if she happens to be teething at the time.)

People we're closer to and those who are more AP leaning we give the whole story to, because I think it helps for them to know more about cosleeping and I might actually change their minds; those who started forumla at birth and do the whole cio thing... I guess I just write them off, actually, as hopeless cases.

But I hear you. People who tell you to cio are annoying.

 

[TiredX2]

No *real* advice, but you might just want to say "We're all sleeping normally" or something like that to people if you don't know if they will be supportive. Its much easier to be supportive of not CIO when you're not exhausted

 

[LizD]

Don't let it bother you. It used to bug me a lot when people said this sort of thing; I took it so personally! I just nod and smile mostly. If pressed I might say, "no, I wouldn't do that," and "I'm sure he'll be fine/outgrow it." But I have a ten-year-old, so people are a lot less eager to give that kind of advice, figuring I am confident in my opinions (however wrong they think I am). It makes it much easier and more pleasant, I have to say. If you're in an uncomfortable situation, like with in-laws, I'd just prompt them to tell you all about how they did it way back when. That's what they're really getting at anyway. If you let them talk and talk and talk there's less time for them to pump you for info.