Mothering Forum banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
816 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Not an entirely HS/US topic, but about learning & playing all the same.<br><br>
Ok, so we've been taking random classes here and there through ECFE (early childhood and family education.) Basically they are just organized playgroups. There's no curriculum, just open playtime and usually a story and art project. Well today DS did not want to listen to the story (as usual) so I let him continue to play. Well he proceeded to dump all the wooden blocks off the shelf and onto the floor (there are a LOT of blocks and it WAS a little noisy/disruptive, but I stayed with DD in the story group and just ignored him since it was no big deal to me.) Well after the story one of the teachers went over and grabbed him (yes, physically touched him, albiet gently) and made him pick up the blocks. I ran over to see what was going on when I saw her making him clean them up. He said he was still playing with crying and her response was "no you aren't, you're just walking on top of them and making a big mess." So, to me there is no wrong way to play with something. I mean, if its dangerous or might break something valuable, then perhaps, but I don't think there's a wrong way to play with wooden blocks. I didn't know what to say. I helped them clean up the blocks and told DS (with her in listening distance) that we just needed to put a few away to make space to play more. Anyway, am I totally in the wrong here? I let him stay a little longer then it really got to me about that situation so we left early. I dunno, maybe I'm just no into the proper etiquette of parenting but I want you all to be honest with me on this. Should I have stopped him from dumping the blocks during storytime? What should I have said to her or him?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43,705 Posts
I would have stayed with the child who wasn't with the rest of the group, rather than leaving a child to play "unsupervised" while listening to the story. And I would have a talk with DS about selecting quiet toys during story time- and remind him again right before storytime next time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
73 Posts
It would have been better to stay with the child who was playing outside of the group. That way, he could've played with the blocks w/o disturbing the others who wanted to hear the story. It can be difficult, but I believe children need to be taught to respect others, and if they are making tons of noise at storytime, that is not respectful to the others. My ds has AD/HD, and this has been an ongoing teaching.<br><br>
moms222
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,896 Posts
first I agree that you shouldn't have let your ds play unsupervised in the class room. at the very least you should have been with him helping him choose quiet toys and play gently with them. preferably out of sight of the children reading the story.<br><br>
and as a preschool teacher I can understand her frustration. its loud, he is dumping, he is standing on them (standing on toys is never really appropriate unless they are your toys). But I think she should have approached you (NOT HIM) and said something to the effect of "we ask that parents supervise . . . we would like him to not dump, stand up on the blocks and would like them picked up now. . . in the future if he doesn't want to participate in story time here are your options. . . . " Obviously there are expectations there that you are not aware of and that she has not communicated clearly. Both of you need to work on getting those out in the open.<br><br>
I don't know the environment but it really bugs when i am trying to get the attention of preschoolers for a story and one kid is allowed to wonder around and still play with toys. It is such a distraction to the other kids. it may never have occurred to some of the other kids that that is an option and once they think it is they will choose toys, so now half the class is playing with toys and the few left who want to hear the story can't but it doesn't matter because the teacher is too busy supervising play time to read. This may have already been causing tension all along and when he dumped out the blocks and made a lot of racket and then started standing on them she snapped. Is he the only one playing? is there an option of listening to the story or playing for all the kids? or is the expectation that everyone will come listen to the story? Unless she gives them the choice of listening to the story or playing perhaps it would be best to ask the teacher what her prefernce is. I would prefer that any children who didn't want to participate in story time leave the room with a parent rather than playing with the toys. if even one kid is allowed to play with toys it i generally over for all the other kids. they want to play with toys too. it is also hard to compete if that child is making noise. and it is hard to concentrate if i am thinking "well gees, how big of a mess is she going to let him make? do I need to say something or is his mom going to take care of it? she doesn't look like she is going to take are of it . . why isn't she taking care of it. . . . will she be mad if I say something to him . .someone needs to say something to him . . ."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
510 Posts
I agree with lilyka. I run a home daycare and it can be very difficult for the other children to concentrate when another is playing. Since the organized group time was only a very small portion of your time there it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to sit quietly, even if you and he chose another book to read quietly in a separate corner of the room so that you are still giving the teacher and other children listening respect. JMHO<br>
Melody
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,655 Posts
We go to a similar playgroup and it ends with a story-time. In our group there is no expectation that the kids will sit and listen to the story, if there was I'd probably have stopped going as soon as ds started to walk (we stopped library story-time right around then) or I would have just started leaving right after we pick the toys. At 2.5 my ds will sit and listen to the story about 75% of the time. When he chooses not to listen, I direct him away from the noisey toys (for example trying to push the baby doll stroller up the slide which was what he wanted to do last week).<br><br>
Personally I've never noticed the other kids being distracted by my son playing instead of sitting. Somedays they are the ones playing instead of sitting and ds is listening to the books. I've also read my fair share of books in this setting and kids playing on the other end of the room doesn't really distract me. It's a playgroup, their mommies are there... I could see it being different in a daycare setting. Personally I have a harder time with the ones that are interested in the book, but have trouble staying sitting down and want to be right up on the book.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
816 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
In this particular class there's not really an expectation that they must stay with the group. Many times kids go off and play on their own. I've asked the teachers in the past what they'd like me to do and they told me they thought having me sit with the group with DD would be best so as to lead by example. Thats why I stayed with the group and not with him. And, I might add that none of the other parents or kids seemed to mind him off playing anyway. He's never sit in the group and its been over a month now...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,896 Posts
well if that is what the teacher told you to do then she really has no right to be snippy or irritated.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top