Mothering Forum banner
1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,539 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When we found out we had gotten pregnant just 4wks after having DD, we were shocked, and excited, and really looking forward to telling our families. Then we found out that we were due on my grandmother's 71st birthday, and since we'd be going to the family reunion just 2 wks later (we're here now) we were planning to tell the extended family about the new baby when we were here.

I told my mom that I was really looking forward to telling Mamaw, saying that I was giving her a sixth great-grandchild for her birthday. Mom said that was a great idea, and to tell her how it went. I said I definitely wanted to tell everyone, and could she please refrain from doing so? She agreed, and that was that.

When we got here Saturday, my Aunt came over and congratulated us, and said that she thought it was great we would have babies so close together. As soon as my grandmother saw me, she said the same thing. I asked her how she'd found out, and she said, "oh your mom called me, darling. She said she was just so excited she couldn't wait to tell me!"

I was incredibly hurt, and angry, frankly. Am I over-reacting? Is it just the pregnancy hormones? I'm fiercely protective of my privacy and my children, and I think that's part of the reason it hit me so hard. This is our last baby, and I really wanted to share the news, not have everyone hear it from the grapevine.

It still bugs me, 3 days later, and I honestly don't want to speak to my mother if she calls because I don't think I could be very nice. DH wants to yell at her for being so insensitive, not to mention going back on her word and ruining our surprise, mostly because he hates seeing me upset.

UGH!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,318 Posts
I don't think you are overreacting at all. We asked our family to not tell anyone until we were ready. My MIL kept threatening that if we didn't tell this person and this person then she was going to. I was fuming just at the thought of her telling people before we were ready. It's not her news to tell. I don't think she has told anyone though she has seemed distant and hasn't talked to us in awhile. It's your surprise and your baby. I know peoplE get excited but they also need to respect your wishes. When you have calmed down a bit maybe you could talk to your mom about it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,270 Posts
I'd be pissed too! It's your news to share, not hers. Talk to her about how you feel and hopefully she'll see where she went wrong.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
495 Posts
I am sooooooooooooo sorry your mom did that too you, I can really relate too your feelings! It took us 8 yrs too get Pg with Madison, and when we found out we were Pg, it was just the most wonderful thing ever. Chris told his mom first, and we asked her too let us share the news with others. 1 day after we told her, I had my phone ringing off the hook from family, she told everyone on us. I was Livid, i felt it was OUR wonderful news too share, NOT HERS! Now she has been the LAST person too learn of our pregnanies, we tell everyone then her. I think your feeling are very well justified. *hugs*
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
347 Posts
We've been lucky that our parents, if they told, told others to keep it a secret and act surprised when we told them. I know my parents didnt tell anyone but I suspect that my MIL did.

I would be annoyed if that had happened to me, especially because you wanted to make it really special for your grandmother, but try not to let it ruin your week.

Remember that this newest baby is everyone's joy and it is only because they are overwhelmingly excited and joyous that they slip and tell. Moms forget that it isnt really their news but it is truly only coming out of a loving and joyful place in their hearts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,025 Posts
I am so sorry that your mother shared your news when you weren't ready. My mother is the same way, we call her the newspaper. What upsets me more than anything is when I specificaly ask her NOT to say something and she goes off and blabs it to the world.

I will also say that you are blessed to have gotten such warm and happy responses. I now get eye rolls and no congratulations. Trying to find that silver lining.


Kasey
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,307 Posts
I would have been so pissed!!! It was not your mother's place to tell anyone, especially since you talked with about how you were going to tell your family.

I'm sorry she did that
I haven't told my mom, because she doesn't deserve to know. That's another story!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
832 Posts
That's not cool


That's really amazing though, I've never heard of that close together. I wasn't even permitted to have sex that soon after my son's birth (4th degree tear).... and I didn't want to either (owww)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
664 Posts
I would be pissed too! My mom told people after I told her not too also, but they were only her friends not family. It kind of irritated me, but I wasn't too surprised since she has a big mouth! LOL
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
196 Posts
No, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I know EXACTLY how you feel, because my father did the same thing to us, and I couldn't even think about him for a week without wanting to blow things up. My mother, my husband, and I all made him promise not to tell anyone, and he immediately went home and emailed every single one of his relatives to tell them his wonderful news. He's just lucky he didn't darken my doorstep with his face after that stunt.

Your mom might have been excited, but if you ask me, that doesn't excuse her rude and selfish behavior, or make it okay, and you have every right to be angry. That is totally not cool of her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,539 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I think what makes this whole situation that much more aggravating is that, as my sister said, "well, we could have guessed she'd do this."

My mother is and always has been incredibly selfish and rude. Everything, no matter the situation, has always been about her. In fact, while I was in labor with DD, she kept telling the nurses how much worse *her* labors were, and how having a preemie wasn't that big of a deal, because my sister had been small too (DD was 3lb5oz...my sis was 5lb!).

So, I probably shouldn't have been surprised to find out she'd blabbed to everyone on earth, but I'm still hurt and don't really want to speak to her.
:
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top