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DD is 3 1/2. She has been taking a weekly gymnastics class a the rec center for about 9 months. She loves it! She's also learning quite a lot. The class has a nice structure that gives the kids direction but allows them freedom of choice and movement too.<br><br>
The problem is that she has developed a pretty good friendship with the only other child that has been a regular. This other child is not a very good listener (she just turned 3) and is disruptive to the class. She often shows up for class 15 minutes late.<br><br>
DD has in the last month or so started being very interested in playing with the other child during class (you know: holding hands, using the same equipment, talking, giggling, getting worked up and running around a little). It's really hard when she's been involved in the class for awhile when her friend shows up. DD just has to focus on her friend rather than class. Sometimes it's disruptive to the other kids.<br><br>
We tried going to the playground next to the rec center for 15 minutes before class to allow DD time to play a little with the other kids in the class (many parents come early to do this too) and it works well on the days her friend shows up early. They get some socialization done and are ready to focus on class a bit more. But her friend's parents just have not been able to get her there early (or on time) very much even though they agree it's a good idea. Often the girls do play at the park after class.<br><br>
So my question is should we switch to a class on a different day to help DD stay involved in the class or stick with her current group since the friendship is so important to her? (One of the original goals for me when we started classes was for DD to have the opportunity to make friends.)<br><br>
BTW I'm not really wanting to hang out with these other parents for play dates. They are yellers and the way they discipline makes my skin crawl. I'm OK at the park but just can't imagine having them over to my house.
 

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I've been in that exact same situation, and we switched classes. I really did not want my child learning that it's ok to run around, ignore the teacher, and disrupt the class. That may sound harsh, but in our case the child in question was really not the kind of influence I want for my child.
 

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I'd switch classes. Friends are important- but quality friends that will improve and teach each other good things are the type of friends to seek- not ones that encourage undesirable behaviour.
 

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I was in your EXACT same situation. My daughter had just turned 4. I changed her to a different day. She made one comment about missing her friend and I responded with, "I know. That's sad that ____ isn't in this class, isn't it? We can't go on Wednesdays anymore. We can only come on Mondays. I'm sorry." and that was the end of it. She made a new best friend in the Monday class and never looked back.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Angie
 

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I feel silly now that I've read the other responses, but I'll be honest and say that I think friendships are important, and the primary reason to take classes like that. I'd keep her in the class with her buddy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I would switch to a different class too, especially if it is a friendship you have no intention of fostering with the other child.
 

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Why doesn't the teacher talk to the parents about the disruptiveness of being so late? If the child is disrupting class, that should be the teacher's responsibility. If the teacher ignores it, I would ask the teacher if she thinks it is a problem that my child is also starting to disrupt class to play with the disruptor. She may think, as many preschool-level teachers do, that the socialization is part of the class and no big deal.<br><br>
But, don't do a playdate if you don't want to.
 

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I wouldn't change classes because of the other child I would change because of the teacher. What happens when she makes a friend in the new class and is more interested in their new friend than the teacher again. I would talk to the teacher and the other childs parents. After that I might set up regular playdates if your DC wants once a week then explain to her that you can play all you want when you visist eachother but during class you have to pay attention and that she can play with her friend the next time they visit eachother. Personally I think that at 3 your DD is behaving just as she should, she doesn't understand scheduals and concentration, she wants to go have fun at gymnastics and her friend is part of that fun. Maybe ask her on the days that they off a different class if she would like to go and meet some new different frinds and if she is excited bring her, bu when she asks to see her old friend respect that. Hope you figure it out.
 

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My DD has been in swim class since she was 6 months old (now 31 months). For a while there was a girl in her classes she was really fixated on. For scheduling reasons that girl went into another class & I was worried DD would be sad. But like a PP said, she asked one question about it, I explained, she got interested in other kids in her current class and ... no more issue.<br><br>
I think I would switch and then NOT say it is because of your DD's interactions with that girl, which could make her sad and make it more of an issue than she would think it was otherwise.<br><br>
Good luck.
 

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maybe you could ask if you could switch temporarily, tell the teacher you have a commitment you cannot alter for a few weeks, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">: i know not honest but it would keep things more simple, and then see if there are any children your dd clicks with in the other group, and then decided whether to move her or not after that.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>theretohere</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7973549"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'd switch classes. Friends are important- but quality friends that will improve and teach each other good things are the type of friends to seek- not ones that encourage undesirable behaviour.</div>
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What exactly is a "quality" friend? Isn't it one that your dc enjoys and is excited to see?<br><br>
I wouldn't change classes. Your child has 18+ years at least to learn not to run around and be disruptive. She's enjoying this other little girl and learning how to be a friend. More important, IMNSHO. And I agree that the teacher should talk to them, or maybe you can talk to the teacher. Maybe she doesn't think they're as disruptive as you do.<br><br>
I'd also set up playdates with them, just at the playground where you don't have to interact much, or have a drop off date.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>natensarah</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7980166"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What exactly is a "quality" friend? Isn't it one that your dc enjoys and is excited to see?<br><br>
I wouldn't change classes. Your child has 18+ years at least to learn not to run around and be disruptive. She's enjoying this other little girl and learning how to be a friend. More important, IMNSHO. And I agree that the teacher should talk to them, or maybe you can talk to the teacher. Maybe she doesn't think they're as disruptive as you do.<br><br>
I'd also set up playdates with them, just at the playground where you don't have to interact much, or have a drop off date.</div>
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Thank God, I thought I was crazy for thinking this. She's 3, the class is an activity that should be fun, not a chore to preform properly and follow authority, she has lots of time to learn that. She's having un and making friends learning a skill through insticts when it is appropriate for her, When she's ready to learn about self disipline she'll find something she has a passion for and strive for it.<br><br>
Kids grow up way to fast, don't speed it up anymore.
 

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I'm glad I'm not the only one too! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I really love to watch my kids form friendships in their activities and classes. Its my favoriate part of the whole adventure. I could care less if they develop their skills at such young ages -- or even learn to sit still and "behave." But I love to see them excited about a new friend, and I love to try to see what they see in the other child. They tend to be very good at choosing friends, and there are qualities that children see in each other that are often lost on adults.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>natensarah</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7980166"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What exactly is a "quality" friend? Isn't it one that your dc enjoys and is excited to see?<br><br>
I wouldn't change classes. Your child has 18+ years at least to learn not to run around and be disruptive. She's enjoying this other little girl and learning how to be a friend. More important, IMNSHO. And I agree that the teacher should talk to them, or maybe you can talk to the teacher. Maybe she doesn't think they're as disruptive as you do.<br><br>
I'd also set up playdates with them, just at the playground where you don't have to interact much, or have a drop off date.</div>
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A quality friend is one that doesn't teach bad behaviour. The way I read it is that this child is encouraging her DD to act differently then she normally does.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>theretohere</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7985880"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">A quality friend is one that doesn't teach bad behaviour. The way I read it is that this child is encouraging her DD to act differently then she normally does.</div>
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If a 3 year old running around and giggling and playing is bad behavior then I guess you don't want her to act three you want her to act 10! If a child is never encouraged to act differently then they normally do they never grow and develope. Look at a kid who doesn't share, if another child comes along and he wants to play with that child and as a result gives him or her one of his toys they are doing something they don't normally do and building valuable socialization skills. Friendship is so important and has to be formed and experimented with on their own. You can pick the most well behaved compatible child and you DC wants nothing to do with them.<br><br>
Friends tend to complete a balance by contributing forms of reenforcement Or adding a little something to someone elses life. This little girl is showing her how to play with other kids which is amazing since at the age of three children tend to play alongside eachother instead of with eachother, Maybe your DD has just moved on to the next step, that's why she didn't act like that before.
 

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Unless this is a fast-track class to the 2020 Olympics, I don't see what the issue is. If the girl's behavior were a real problem, the teacher would have intervened. I've been teaching swimming to babies and young children for years and I don't find the kind of behavior described in the OP to be bad or disruptive. I think the main goal of recreational sports for youngsters is to instill in them a love for athletics and physical activity that will last a lifetime and contribute to their overall good health and well-being.
 

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Call me draconian but I don't want my child to socialize inappropriately in their structured preschool gymnastics classes (or other structured classes). I think it's unfair to the children who want to pay attention and to the parents who are shelling out the $ for class. If my child was cutting up due to a relationship with another child I would consider moving them if it couldn't be handled another way. I do encourage my children to speak to the other children before and after class and I socialize with the moms.<br><br>
If you want your child to have social freeplay time, isn't the neighborhood playground or indoor play center the place for that?<br><br>
So OP, what did you end up doing?
 
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