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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Instead she told me "Well on the 6th I have to decorate the big children's table at church."<br><br>
I just looked at her "Well, that's Fiona's birthday, and that's when we're having the memorial." Like come on crazy lady what you think I'm gonna change the date here?! I sent out printed invitation! Its her birthday.<br><br>
She said "Well hopefully we'll get it done quickly."<br><br>
Yeah well you go for that MIL. Cuz I really don't give a flying word that rhymes with truck if you come. Especially if decorating a table is more important. Can't skip out on a morning bible study or the sermon so you can be on time for your grand-daughter's memorial or anything.<br><br>
Man she's got her church face glued on so tightly...She's *such* a kind and loving person who's totally there for her family in times of need. *Snort*<br><br>
Hmmm. Now where do I find a folding table for the day?<br><br>
There is a reason why I didn't give her the invite until the last mintue and actually had Orion give it to her while I was running out the door to run an errand (and Dh kept talking to me asking things, I was like uh-huh yeah, whatever, shut the door hop in the car).<br><br>
Its not like its an important date or anything.<br><br>
Their whole family just shoves painful stuff away and that part makes me mad. My daughter deserves to be remembered, even if it is painful. It seems childish and petty to simply ignore her existence to avoid heartache.<br><br>
But again, whatever. Fiona deserves better, but this isn't really *for* Fiona so much as *for* me, yk? Its not like she's *here* to appreciate it, its for me to get support and love and know others remember her. I'm pretty sure if she can see us from where we are the simple fact that we are gathering for her birthday is quite enough for her. And I know the people who will come are the people who really love and care for our family, not just when its easy, and that is plenty for me.<br><br>
And the flowers will be beautiful. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"> A local florist is putting together something special for her, their choice of flowers for $40. I couldn't afford any huge thing, so it was a biggie to me that I found someone who will do something beautiful for us (and really I don't know a lot more about flowers past oooh pretty and those are roses, right?).
 

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StarMama--I saw this on new posts. I have not experienced a loss like yours. I read your post, because your MIL and mine may have been made from the same mold.<br><br>
I am really sorry that she isn't more supportive. It sucks.<br><br>
It sounds like you planned something beautiful day to remember Fiona.<br><br>
HUGS.
 

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I'm sorry <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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omgosh MIL's... i try to avoid my MIL as often as possible, she's crazy. right after we lost Ruby she says to DH "well, now would be a good time for a visectomy don't you think?"<br>
GRRRRR.....<br><br>
sorry you have to deal with someone who doesn't get it.<br>
but you're right, it's for YOU in the biggest way. we will all remember her with you. and i'm sure your little Fiona is watching you, and is so happy knowing that her mama is the best.<br>
xo
 

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I'm sorry you have to deal with this right now <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Unfortunately, I can't say that I'm surprised by anyone's coldness anymore... it seems pretty common, sadly.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle"> for your beautiful Fiona. I hope her day is beautiful and healing for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>StarMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14743850"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My daughter deserves to be remembered, even if it is painful.<br><br>
And the flowers will be beautiful. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"> A local florist is putting together something special for her.</div>
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I SO understand and agree about remembering and going to the cemetery (or other special place) on that specific day. I do this too; it is important for me even though many people don't understand.<br><br>
Very glad you found a florist who will put together something special. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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That would tick me off too. I'm sorry she isn't being more supportive. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Ouch. I am so sorry that she is making the run up to Fiona's special day so hard. I hope that those people who do share your daughter's day enfold you in their love and compassion. I'm pleased you got a beautiful arrangement for your little girl.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Yes the people who will be there will be wonderful. :heart One of my three BFF's is coming, she was there at the birth and it was really hard for her, and she really doesn't want to cry and is really really not looking forward to this, but she's coming anyways because she knows I need her. Because she wants to support me. Man I'm so glad that when I was in my teens I just up and decided, screw it, I'm CHOOSING my family now. And those family members will be there, even if the blood relations skip out.
 
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