[kateaton]

So, I had my early ultrasound today to confirm dates. I'm only 7 weeks, which I sort of suspected. But man, I feel like I've been pregnant forever already! I think finding out 10 dpo makes a pregnancy feel eternal!<br><br>
My due date is 5/23. Obviously, it is pretty early so the baby looked really blobby. We did see a heartbeat though. I guess I was kinda dissappointed that we're not having twins. It's really weird because I know that would absolutely insane. I guess I'm just one of those weird people that desire twins. This disappointment brought up a huge thing which I didn't really even know was there. I know that if I find out I'm having a girl I'm going to be majorly disappointed. I want a boy very badly. We have 2 daughters already. I also have several friends who are having boys.<br><br>
All these feelings of disappointment and even anger came up- like I was told I was having a girl. Which of course makes me feel even worse because of the guilt. Like it's not fair to this kid- I should just be happy whoever they are. Why can't I just be happy that I can get pregnant and that things are going so well so far. I know many women who can't even get pregnant- I feel so ungrateful.<br>
How do I mentally prepare myself to be ok if I find out we're having another girl? How do I not really lose it in the ultrasound room? I know that we could just not find out ahead of time, but I'm such a planner that I have to know. Besides, I feel like it would be worse to be majorly disappointed at my child's birth.<br><br>
Uggghh, what is wrong with me? Anyone else have these feelings?

 

[Dajemadger]

I remember feeling disappointed when I found out #3 was a boy. Only because dh and I were so sure it was a girl and I was already envisioning life with 2 girls and I had always wanted a sister and I really wanted to give my dd a sister.<br><br><br>
Once the baby is here....it all goes away! I couldn't imagine having anyone other than our 2nd boy and our dd loves him to pieces, she and him get along so well. I can't help but hoping that this one (our last) will be a girl and I know I'll feel slightly sad if it is another boy, but I know that eventually I won't be able to see it any differently.<br><br>
Be easy on yourself. Feelings are real and I totally validate how you are feeling about wanting a boy.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">

 

[organicpapayamama]

I totally understand. DD was stillborn and since then I have a huge void and maybe obsession with having another little girl. When I found out DS was a boy I was disapointed for a few weeks but was happy he was healthy an that I was going to have a living baby. I desperatly want a girl this time around and think I might lose it as well if I find out it's a boy. I'm almost expecting a boy... I can't help that I feel this way. I too just have to find out as I'm a planner as well. I know I will get through whatever happens and that I will love this new lil one but I'm not looking forward to the disapointment.

 

[Elecampane]

Be gentle on yourself. Your feelings are totally valid. I feel similarly, although the opposite...I know it's out of my control and I'll be happy with my baby in the end, but I will be crushed if mine is a boy. I have always imagined myself with two girls, just like my mother, and I will be heartbroken if DD doesn't get a sister. In fact just typing this is bringing tears to my eyes, I feel that strongly about it. Finding out is the best strategy--then we will have lots of time to adjust and get excited about our babies, no matter the gender.

 

[kateaton]

thanks for all your encouragement. I feel much better about everything today. I feel much more peace about the possibility of having another girl- we have picked out a girl name that I think is absolutely beautiful, and that makes me feel more positive about it.<br><br>
Hopefully, I got my grieving out of the way and if it is a girl I'll be happy at the ultrasound. I do think pregnancy hormones played a role in my strong emotions yesterday too. We'll see, it's a long way off. I won't be 18 weeks until the week of Christmas! That feels like forever.

 

[Tulafina]

Crashing from June DDC-<br><br>
I totally feel for you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I have 2 beautiful boys, I get pregnant very easily, have smooth pregnancies and births....but after both my boys were born I suffered from severe gender disappointment. I felt like a complete failure of a mother. I actually never told anyone how I felt until recently.<br><br>
I never thought I would have boys, so it was a complete shock when my first was born. I was so sure that my second would be a girl...not so much. The time it took to grieve the loss of my girl(in my head) was only a matter of days and I love my boys so much it hurts. I can't imagine life without them.<br><br>
I know that if this babe is a boy I might feel the same way for awhile, but I also know that feeling passes.<br><br>
I hope that things work out the way you want them to <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Take Care xo