[Belle]

I was so excited to learn recently that both my dh's sister's are expecting. S is expecting #2 in January and C is due with #1 in Feb. We got in a big discussion about birth and pregnancy last night. S had an emergency c/s with ds#1 and totally believes that her doctors saved her and her ds. I don't know the exact circumstances of her birth and want to support whatever she decides for #2. There is no way she could be swayed anyway, I think it's a lost cause. But with C I had an opportunity to eduacte her and used it. She is a lawyer and definately one to do reseach before she jumps into something so I think she will be open to this. I lent her my copy of TCOYF while she was TTC and she was able to use it successfully. I suggested the Bradley method because we were so happy with it. I'm going to give her my copy of the thinking woman's guide to a better birth and maybe Ina May's guide to childbirth. Somehow in discussion I let it slip that our next child will not be born in a hospital and the stuff hit the fan with S. She told me how a teenager in the hospital where she was had given birth at home at 7 months. She came to the hospital because her baby was born early and was shocked that the mom was discharged in a couple of hours. (The baby stayed in the NICU) I'm like "yeah, so" She was actually appalled that someone felt good enough after birth to be walking around and going home.

Anyway I hope that I was able to educate C about birth more. She's just been getting a negative view from S.

 

[chiro_kristin]

Good luck! I'm so happy you are trying. All you can do, IMO, is keep working on the open-minded SIL "C". If she chooses a homebirth, and then if the family gets involved and excited, then maybe Other SIL "S" will get more curious and ask "C" about her decision-making process rather than ask you.

But I agree with you that it is very important to help "S" not feel guilty about her previous choice and to let her know that you respect her decision this time, no matter what differences there are in your birth philosophies, and especially as long as she feels she has truly explored her options.

Maybe give them both a subscription to Mothering for a Happy Gestating present! And encourage them to lurk on MDC!

I think another great book for gentle nudging with resistant women is "Hands of Love" by Dr. Carol Phillips. It is an easy read, enjoyable for men and women, it is written by Dr. Carol and also by many parents, and it explores all sorts of possibilities and options and how to make the best decision in each situation. The author does a great job of supporting the decisions of women while encouraging the most natural process at the same time.

 

[AngelBee]

Glad you are informing them of their choices

 

[Mamabeakley]

Yeah, peer pressure is important

!

So far in my/dh's family, his CIL had a baby 4 mos b/f my DS was born. She was young (19) and started out w/an OB whom she basically fired in her 39th week after he stripped her membranes w/out her consent. By then she had done a lot of reading (prompted in part by me) and would have switched to a midwife/hb if she could have found anyone who would take her and/or her state health insurance. She ended up in the hospital w/the on-call doc who was with her for about 30 minutes total. She gave birth vaginally and unmedicated -

- I was a last minute labor support person - but she is very vocal about the fact that she didn't NEED to be hospitalized and won't be (by choice) next time.

I was born @ home, as were my brothers, so DS was born at home, too.

Then my SIL (with our good examples) had a healthy hb this spring.

It will be hard for anybody else in the family to get away with any kind of elective c-birth or drugs (if we could do it, you can too!) :LOL

But also the younger sibs and their partners coming up will have SUPPORT and INFORMATION from those of us who have done it already.

It's hard to make healthy choices when you have lack support or information.