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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
And it was nothing like I expected! First, the nurse was super nice. She was happy to hear that I just wanted to do breathing and water for pain relief (oh, and they do births in the tubs there if you secure one of the two rooms with birthing tubs--or they'll inflate the other one they have if the third room that can accommodate the size is available), she asked if Lilly was breastfeeding (O_O Not used to nurses realizing that toddlers nurse, too!) and later asked Lilly if she was going to get in the tub with Mommy when she was having the baby (!); talked about some highlights from natural births they'd had in the past few weeks that she really liked (one of which was the parents choosing to get in the tub with baby for baby's first bath instead of having the nurses bathe the baby--she said that was sweet and touching).

She made it clear that I would be considered a midwife patient, even if I was with Dr. S (who she gushed about and told me about how he would make sure I had all the time and support I needed, no matter what, to have my VBAC and how much she loves working with him, etc.) talked with me about what caused my cesarean (and then said that wouldn't happen there--that they would encourage me to rest and offer pain meds if I thought it would help before they would call for a cesarean, even in the pushing phase--she talked about a mama who got there, was just too exhausted and so they gave her an epidural and she slept for 6 hours, then woke up and pushed the baby right out--which is what I think would have saved me from mine, so that was an enormous thing for me to hear) and from that point on, sounded like she expected nothing less than a VBAC for me.

There wasn't a single baby in their nursery. At the hospital where DD was born, there was NEVER a time without a baby in the nursery! She said "Well, most mamas want their babies to stay with them" when she came out after opening the blinds for us to see. There's a special room they put postpartum midwife patients in to get them signed out asap so that they can go home and bond with their babies and I could be out of there as soon as 12 hours after baby's born.

The papers they gave me say that children aren't allowed to stay overnight, but I'm going to have DH talk to them and see if there's a liability waiver or something we can sign saying that we're totally responsible for our DD so they will let her stay (a L&D nurse friend of mine a while back explained that at her hospital, they once allowed kids to stay, but then one fell out of the bed and got hurt and the parents sued, so they couldn't do that anymore and the nurses were trying to get a waiver written up to allow kids to stay again). If they won't, I don't know what we're going to do--I can't leave AMA or my insurance won't pay, I can't be separated from DD all night (especially since she'd be kicked out 6 hours before her bedtime!). I mean, if it's on the right night, I might have a friend who can take her and stay in the hospital with us (as she works there) and then just bring her to our room at 8am to finish sleeping, but I don't know. I can't have her in another building, I just can't. And that nurse friend is one of the only people I'd trust with my daughter overnight. But I don't want DD to be traumatized like that--cut off from her Mommy at night, for the first time ever without her Daddy there at least (or me without DH, which could be a disaster w/my agoraphobia). So my choice would be DD to be traumatized or me... which means, I'd pick me and that means DH would have to spend his new baby's first night away from them, which isn't fair to him, either.

Anyway, the tour went great, the place looks way better than I expected with a great head nurse and natural-friendly policies, so if we can just get past the kink regarding DD staying overnight, I'll be totally fine going there at the end of my labor to give birth.
 

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Sounds great! That must make you feel much more comfortable.

We've been to tour two hospitals and haven't had nearly as good of experiences. We're planning a homebirth and I fully expect to stay home...but just in case I wanted to be prepared.

The first, but further, hospital was fine. They were very nice and had nice facilities. They made it clear that if I went there I would automatically have a c-section because I've had two previously. (No surprise, I knew that--because my state sucks!) We found out details like going straight to triage in the maternity area and not the general ER, if we have to go there. They were helpful and even managed to say they hope everything goes well with my homebirth (half way convincingly.
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The closer hospital we visited yesterday just gave me a bad vibe. The nurse who showed us around was probably ten years younger than me and tried politely to express her opinion more than once that I should be at the hospital, not at home. She said their VBAC rate is low--and I never asked--since IFI'm there, I'm there for a C/S. And then when she found out I had previously had c/s births, she really stopped and encouraged me to talk to a doctor about the "risks" of VBAC. I then tried politely to tell her that I believe my repeat C/S risks are much higher than VBAC risks. I assured her I had done much research and that I personally have an extensive "medical" background. (Although my slant is definately not "medical"--I've had as much anatomy and physiology--even embyology and obstetrics as a typical M.D.) So I'm hormonal, and ticked that this nurse tried to talk to me that way. And particularly concerned for someone who could be swayed who hears her thoughts.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by jr'smom View Post
Sounds great! That must make you feel much more comfortable.

We've been to tour two hospitals and haven't had nearly as good of experiences. We're planning a homebirth and I fully expect to stay home...but just in case I wanted to be prepared.

The first, but further, hospital was fine. They were very nice and had nice facilities. They made it clear that if I went there I would automatically have a c-section because I've had two previously. (No surprise, I knew that--because my state sucks!) We found out details like going straight to triage in the maternity area and not the general ER, if we have to go there. They were helpful and even managed to say they hope everything goes well with my homebirth (half way convincingly.
)

The closer hospital we visited yesterday just gave me a bad vibe. The nurse who showed us around was probably ten years younger than me and tried politely to express her opinion more than once that I should be at the hospital, not at home. She said their VBAC rate is low--and I never asked--since IFI'm there, I'm there for a C/S. And then when she found out I had previously had c/s births, she really stopped and encouraged me to talk to a doctor about the "risks" of VBAC. I then tried politely to tell her that I believe my repeat C/S risks are much higher than VBAC risks. I assured her I had done much research and that I personally have an extensive "medical" background. (Although my slant is definately not "medical"--I've had as much anatomy and physiology--even embyology and obstetrics as a typical M.D.) So I'm hormonal, and ticked that this nurse tried to talk to me that way. And particularly concerned for someone who could be swayed who hears her thoughts.
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Your second tour sounds a lot like my hospital tour experience- except I didn't identify myself as a VBAC'er because I knew I would get that talk of "you should talk with your dr. ..." I almost cried at the number of babies in the nursery - it was a ridiculous amount compared to my previous hospital in Seattle (none!)
My tour group struck me as just sucking in this nurse's words as the spoken gospel and that made me more upset than anything.
 

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i toured the backup hospital yesterday.

it was OK. kinda cute & fun to be in an elevator w/10 other pregnant women.

for a hospital, they are quite progressive. u can bring in a rented tub, move around, use the shower; they don't do epistiotomies (sp?); they do skin to skin w/mom if @ all possible for the 1st hour; etc.

that said,
the tour made me v. grateful & glad we're doing a homebirth
'cuz there are many subtle ways things are more on yr own terms @ home.

i realized how clear DH and i have to BOTH be about our choices if we transfer to the hospital to make sure a task-oriented or opinionated nurse doesn't just swing things 1 way or another.

they had an older white male volunteer who was nice but felt a bit out of touch doing the tour. and hopefully he did not know what he was talking 'bout when he said you aren't allowed to carry your baby around due to them being worried 'bout accidents (baby being dropped?!) so baby "must" be in "isolette", this tray like bed on a rolling stand, rather than in the arms of someone, when being moved. i didn't bother asking further; i figure it can't be true and noone can keep us from holding her rather than putting her in an "isolette" which sounds horrible.
 

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Xakana, I'm so glad your tour went well. I had a similar experience, and it really put a lot of my fears to rest, esp about dd being a part of the whole experience. The nurse giving the tour even looked at us specifically after telling us the visiting hours for siblings and said that we didn't need to worry about visiting hours with dd, since she wouldn't be disruptive to anyone. It's so nice to be pleasantly surprised!

I just noticed that your dd's name is Lillyanna. That was a name I considered for dd #1, and is a very serious consideration for this one, if it's a girl. It's my #1 choice, but is in DH's top 2 or 3.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by _ktg_ View Post
I almost cried at the number of babies in the nursery - it was a ridiculous amount compared to my previous hospital in Seattle (none!)
My tour group struck me as just sucking in this nurse's words as the spoken gospel and that made me more upset than anything.
Yup, that's how my first hospital tour was and that's what I was expecting this time. It's scary, hearing them all chortling over the epidural that they would all have to have because births are horrible, painful, terrifying experience, after all! :eyeroll:

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Originally Posted by ommom View Post
i figure it can't be true and noone can keep us from holding her rather than putting her in an "isolette" which sounds horrible.
Yes, yes they can and it has nothing to do with dropping babies (he IS an idiot there) but security. They require the bassinet to go with you (through the halls only) to differentiate visiting babies from hospital babies. Otherwise, someone might walk out of the hospital with your baby, even with all the security. Which is the only reason I don't complain about it--it's a legitimate concern. You won't spend much time in the halls anyway (quite possibly none) and you can carry and wear your baby around your room and as you leave, no problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzminty View Post
The nurse giving the tour even looked at us specifically after telling us the visiting hours for siblings and said that we didn't need to worry about visiting hours with dd, since she wouldn't be disruptive to anyone.
I wish that had been our experience. At my first hospital, visiting hours meant nothing (which is important when most of your friends are only available after hours) unless we wanted them to. I'm having DH ask our friend who works there 1) how strict they are with visiting hours 2) to ask around how strict L&D is with them and 3) if there's someone we can talk to about making arrangements to allow DD to stay at night.

But the sheet said that only spouses are allowed after 8pm and they have to be tagged with a special tag that allows them in at that time and I recall her saying something about that and how the tags change daily by color so that no one can get in without the tag of the day.

And in case you can't tell, I'm not birthing in the safest neighborhood *sigh* They told us where to park if we come in after dark, for safety, etc. So it's more than normal baby snatching fear--you get to add in crappy KC crime rate and being in a high crime rate area.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
So, DH called the Unit Director of Women's Care (who our friend who works there recommended we contact) and she said that while she can't GUARANTEE anything, the policy is there due to dad dropping the older kids off w/mom and leaving and since DH plans to stay the whole time, she doesn't see a problem. She said that with my psych issues (I'm agoraphobic, I need DH to be there so I don't have panic attacks) they'll probably have me on the track for fast release anyway and it should be okay and to call her if there's any problems, that they've bent the rules before when it's reasonable and that it sounds reasonable for us.
 
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