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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dh wanted to have the scan, so I agreed. He lets me decide everything else, I figured I would give him this much. Everything looked great. The baby was moving around a lot and gave us a thumbs up.

We decided to find out gender. It's a girl. I have a boy and wanted another boy very badly. I ended up crying because I was disappointed. It's not that I'm upset it's a girl, I just wanted a boy so bad. I think I just need a little time to adjust. Obviously, we are thankful for a healthy child.
 

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I was sure we were having a boy and it turns out it's a girl. As long as it's a healthy baby gender isn't that important, IMO. At least you'll have one of each this way and later on in life you won't be saying what if or wondering what it would have been like to have a little girl. I vote that you hit up a kids consignment shop and buy up a few dresses and pink onesies. Retail therapy really helped me get over my tinge of disappointment that I was wrong about the gender.
 

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Congratulations on a healthy baby!!

I'm sorry you are disappointed about not getting the gender you wanted. I completely understand. I had to take a deep breath when we found out we're having another boy instead of the girl I really wanted. Like you, it's not that I don't want another boy, just that I really want a girl. I hate that you have to hide and be ashamed of this feeling- like we're bad mothers to be disappointed with the gender of our child. It isn't that we won't love this baby as much- it's just grief over the loss of the things we were hoping for (for me, pink lacy diaper covers & hairbows). The grief will pass & we'll love this child with everything we have.

It's nice to hear another mom express what I've been feeling. Congrats again on your healthy baby and I like the PP's suggestion for retail therapy.
 

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This is why we've never found out the gender before birth!!!

Never ever ever would you feel disappointed at the gender of your baby at birth. You see the baby and just love it, it doesn't matter when the baby is here. I would've been SOOO disappointed to find out I was having another boy last time, but the second I saw him, I was SOOOO happy to have him!

This time, however, is the first time I really feel like I do not care one way or another, finally! So this time we are finding out, because we'll be happy either way and I didn't feel that way during other pregnancies.
 

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Honestly that's one of the reason whys we aren't finding out this time. If it is indeed another boy (after the 3 we have now) my husband would be disappointed, he REALLY wants a girl. So I totally agreed to not finding the sex out mainly for that reason, but also, I just don't want to know and want our last baby different then the rest...you know kinda going out with a bang!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Yaliina View Post
Congratulations on a healthy baby!!

I'm sorry you are disappointed about not getting the gender you wanted. I completely understand. I had to take a deep breath when we found out we're having another boy instead of the girl I really wanted. Like you, it's not that I don't want another boy, just that I really want a girl. I hate that you have to hide and be ashamed of this feeling- like we're bad mothers to be disappointed with the gender of our child. It isn't that we won't love this baby as much- it's just grief over the loss of the things we were hoping for (for me, pink lacy diaper covers & hairbows). The grief will pass & we'll love this child with everything we have.

It's nice to hear another mom express what I've been feeling. Congrats again on your healthy baby and I like the PP's suggestion for retail therapy.

Thanks for understanding. Like some posters said, a healthy baby what matters. Of course. Who would want an unhealthy preferred gendered child over a healthy opposite gender? I just need to get over the grief and start buying.


mataji - That isn't necessarily true. Of course, I would love the child (and I do now) at the moment of birth. But, loving and being upset about gender are two different things. If not immediately, I would have been upset in the days following. I am glad I have the time to get over not having a boy and prepare for our daughter. I know I will love this baby just the same as I would another son. I just envisioned my two sons playing with their tractors in the garden while I worked and growing up being very close friends.
 

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I am sorry you are disappointed but I just wanted to encourage you that as a mom of a little girl they are a LOT of fun too. And can be just as fearless and rowdy as boys...my DD is proof of that, I am seriously thinking of getting her involved in gymnastics or diving or BMX bike racing when she is older so she has an outlet for her daredevil antics
 
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