[lizabird]

I had an experience a few weeks ago that I keep thinking about and wondering "what would you do?" in the same situation.

I was at a store in the mall, waiting just outside the door. There were lots of moms and kids in the store. One little boy (about 2.5 yrs old) just sort of wandered out, he was carrying a pair of shoes from the store (not-paid-for), he was clearly just out for a stroll. I watched him walk down the hallway for about 20 feet, no parent came out of the store looking, and it was not obvious to whom be belonged, but clearly no one had missed him yet. He was walking slowly, ambling along, just looking at this stipe on the floor, following it down the hall...

SO he gets about 50 feet away, and I'm thinking, "okay, someone is going to seriously miss this kid soon and he's getting a bit far away, and if he were my kid, I'd want to know where he is". SO I go walk up to him and he is clearly wary of me (still holding onto the shoes from the store). I put on my sweet-talking-to-toddler-voice and tell him maybe it's time to walk back towards the store, his mama might miss him, she probably doesn't know where he is, etc., and he just stands there looking at the wall. SO I suggest we walk back to the store together. "No." I ask if I can pick him up and carry him back. "No."

I don't want to be a creepy stranger and freak him out (there are other people in the hallway now watching me). But I also know it's been 5 or so minutes since he's been out and his mom is bound to notice he's gone soon and SHE"LL start freaking out. So I'm trying to convince him to come back to the store with me without actually picking him up and dragging him back (I even tried gently trying to guide him on his back but he just stood there facing the wall, saying "No.")

ANyway, finally out from the store, comes his mother, frantic and crying. She runs down the hall, I tell her a quick version of what happened (though I don't think she heard any of it), she was just happy to find her DS.

SOOOOO.... I feel like I should have just picked him up and carried him back to the store, but I really didn't feel like I had the "right" to do that since I had no idea who this kid was, and he didn't know me.

What "should" I have done? WHat would you have done?

Just curious, I keep thinking about this, and the poor mama who was so freaked out that she couldn't find her little boy and he was safe, just down the hall, with me trying to gently coax him back...

Thanks,
lizabird

 

[scatterbrainedmom]

i would have carried him back to the store *i think*. Either that or stayed with him and flagged down someone to run in and let a worker know that you were out there with a child that wandered out.

 

[mollyeilis]

My mom and I were experts at this. She was ALWAYS finding lost kids. All you want to do is be near them. Don't touch them. Don't pick them up! All you need is to be accused of stealing them...

We would stand nearby, on the lookout for frantic looking adults. Sometimes the parents are right there, totally aware of where the child is, but simply with a different parenting style or sense.

Since my mom was older and more maternal, she would get down on the child's level and wait, looking out. Since I was younger, I'd just stay at adult-level, the best height to look out for the frantic adults.

I think you did fine. You wouldn't have wanted to pick him up, really. What if the child's mom had been outside that store, and he had wandered into then out of it? Yikes! Talk about a mess!

You did fine.

 

[4evermom]

Since he wasn't going very fast toward the escalators or anything, I would have called into the store "who is with this little boy in a red shirt (or whatever)." Otherwise, I would have stayed close to make sure he was safe but I wouldn't have picked him up unless he was willing or in serious danger.

 

[TurboClaudia]

i think you did the right thing in not picking him up after he clearly stated that he did not want you to.

i used to work in a very friendly, kid-attracting store and sometimes parents would even sit on the bench outside our store and let their child wander around our store unaccompanied. it was the rare kid who would never notice his parents were gone, so we were practiced at handling lost parent situations. we would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER pick up a child and would only hold the child's hand to accompany them if they offered.

i think i would have done approximately the same thing you did with the additon of perhaps calling into the store or getting the attention of one of its employees about the child to let them know about "the child with the dark brown hair and a blue jacket who wandered out of the store."

~claudia

 

[mominchina]

Yeah, I probably wouldn't have picked him up either. I would have just kept an eye on him.

 

[annekevdbroek]

I think you did the right thing. I've found lost kids at SeaWorld and I usually try to stop them from wandering by talking to them, meanwhile keeping an active eye out in the direction they came from. Always a frantic parent soon appears to claim the child. I would not pick up a lost child. I *might* take their hand if I was leading them to a park employee, but I've never needed to do that.

 

[Brinda]

I think you did good. I like the suggestions given already. Definitely the last thing you want is to pick the kid up and they start screaming "I want my mommy!" Yikes!

 

[lizabird]

Thanks for all those replies! That makes me feel better. I felt like I was doing the right thing (I stayed low and talked to him, basically prevented him from going any farther afield) but then frantic crying mom came out in a total panic and I felt bad, like I should have just gotten him back into the store so she wouldn't have worried.

Funny, I never even thought to tell the clerk near the door that there was a kid wandering out and down the hall. All I was thinking of was "I'll just get him to come back in ... (ha!)" and then by the time I was about 3 storefronts away, I didnt' just want to leave him there and go back to tell anyone (thinking he would just keep wandering). Of course the last thing I wanted anyone to think was that I was trying to kidnap him!

Anyway, thanks again for the replies.

 

[artgoddess]

I think you did good. If he starts really going far maybe flag someone down walking by and ask that person to go into the store and find the mother.