Hard water diaper washing help!

I am thinking that my diaper washing issues have to do with how hard our water is. I am wanting to hear the washing routines of others with hard water to compare.

Currently I do 1 full wash on cold w/ 1 tbsp of melaleuca detergent and 1/2 cup ish of baking soda. Then one full wash hot/cold rinse sometimes w/ some more detergent sometimes not, always w/ another 1/2 cup or so of bs. Then a full wash warm/cold w/ vinegar. If that water looks cloudy I usually do more washes like that one untill the water looks clear. I don't have the option to do anything but cold rinses on my machine.
One bad thing about this routine is my diapers are getting worn our really quickly. I have been switching some of them to gentle adgitation to try to save them but I need some other ideas.

Thanks! Oh I have tried biokleen detergent for a while and it didn't seem to get them as clean and seemed to be harder on the diapers in general.