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ETA: oh yeah, pictures: <a href="http://www.damnhandy.com/photos" target="_blank">http://www.damnhandy.com/photos</a><br><br>
June 16<br>
12:29 pm<br>
5 lbs, 12 oz, 19" long<br><br>
emergency c-section after homebirth transfer. my husband and i still freak out thinking about the c-section. the birth went from being a wonderful, peaceful experience to the most violent thing that's ever happened to us. but she is perfect, and I knew it was the safest thing we could do given the circumstances. she was having late decelerations with each contraction, and a BPP showed no fluid even though membranes never ruptured. she was also wrapped in a really long cord, and then she started having decelerations even between contractions, which at that point were pretty piddly from the stress of being in a new environment.<br><br>
so here we are, and she is safe, and we're still sorting through everything emotionally. being out of the hospital is better, and i'm healing well physically. i did call about counseling. there are times when we just cry, and sleep deprivation and breastfeeding issues don't help. she had tongue-tie, and we're probably going to end up getting it clipped to see if that helps the latch. she's gained well, but she mangles the nipples and can't get a deep enough latch because she can't use her tongue freely. so she compensates by using her jaws. right now we use a nipple shield, which is helping me heal, but it's not a long-term solution. i am lucky to have found a good lactation consultant service, which is probably the best thing that came out of the hospital stay - lots of help with breastfeeding. i really want at least that to go right. so far, all the plans for a gentle birth were derailed, and she hasn't used any of her cloth diapers since she was too small too fit. and i can't handle doing any more laundry, for that matter.<br><br>
now: to eat breakfast before she wakes up! this is seriously the hardest thing we've ever done.
 

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Oh <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> and lots of <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> I'm sorry about your birth experience, but thank God for your baby being here! I hope things just get better and better for you mama!
 

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congrats!!<br><br>
and take your time healing and processing. the first 6 wks are SO difficult. you're doing great!!!!
 

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helen, I'm so sorry your birth experience was so horrible. Healing will come (to both of us) slowly, but it will come.<br>
I'm so happy to hear Harper is safe and healthy and beautiful. Crying in her hair is good therapy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
Thinking of you.
 

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Hugs mama! Sorry to hear the birth experience was not what you expected. Korin is right, healing will come w/ time. Enjoy your sweet little babe.
 

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Congratulations on the healthy girl! I'm so sorry to hear things turned out the way they did, many <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you. Just know that you did everything you could for your sweet baby, you are a wonderful mama and she is a very special girl. My baby is tongue tied too, its rough. I'm not using shields, just toughing it out one suck at a time, hoping we won't have to clip him but wondering what will become of my nipples. I also intended to use cloth and all of ours are too big. I hate the smell of the sposies. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> But yeah, less laundry is a nice bonus! Enjoy you babe!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/partytime.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="partytime"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/babygirl.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Babygirl">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/partytime.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="partytime"><br><br>
I Love the name Harper! GREAT choice!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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helen, I don't know you really bc I mostly lurked on june (due july) but I wanna say, you are *awesome* and doing great. You're right, this IS the hardest thing ever... I think you're going to get through it successfully!<br><br>
Keep getting help for that nursing until it goes well. Good for you, for being so determined.
 

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Congratulations - so sorry things were difficult for you, sendin ghealing vibes your way!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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congrats!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Healing thoughts going your way. Despite all the trauma you sound really strong because you have the wherewithall to seek out help for you and you family. I love the name. Reese was one of our names that was in the running for our daughter.
 
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