[Evergreen]

I have read the entire nightweaning support thread and feel that everyone there is making some sort of progress whereas I am not. My child is two and a half. I have been trying to nightwean her since she was 25 months old. We would have illnesses that set us back, but for the most part I can not physically keep her off of me. I tried the 'nursies go night night" thing which worked extremely well with her older sister who nightweaned right before she turned two. I tried, "We nurse when the sun comes up." I've tried rubbing, snuggling, everything. If I don't nurse her she kicks me, hits me, punches, bites, scratches, headbutts and flails around screaming and wakes the entire house up. I know it may be as simple as maybe she just isn't ready but I am! I have a high stress job and feel that if I got more sleep I would be a happier person during the day. Ava does have a speach delay so I don't know if she grasps the whole concept of nursing when the sun is out. She acts as if she doesn't but on her speech therapy evaluation she functions cognitively at the level of a 3 and a half year old so I am betting she understands the concept of nursing only when the sun comes up she just pretends not to. I don't know if I can deal with the 3 am pawing any more. I'm a light sleeper and can not sleep through a nursing session. I don't know what else do do, perhaps I just need reassurance that one day she will sleep through the night. I just hope it is before she goes to college.

 

[SuzyLee]

When we nightweaned at 16 months W. definitely didn't get the sun thing. We just stopped nursing at night, and after a few weeks, he sort of just stopped trying. Not that he suddenly magically slept all night- he still wakes up, he just doesn't ask to nurse anymore. But I am sure a 2.5 yo will remember she wants to nurse for longer than a 16 mo. However either way you are in for quite a stretch of having to stay firm and get *less* sleep than if you just let her nurse.

Have you thought about having her sleep with her dad so that you get a break some nights? She won't be happy of course- but eventually she will get used to it. It sucks, I know!

 

[macimom]

I'll be watching this thread as I am in the same place as you. My DD will be three in August and still gets up to nurse three or four times a night. With two other kids, I'm exhausted. Now, I'm also dealing with the added pressure of my DH telling me everyday that we need to "just let her cry", which I'm totally opposed to. She's a very strong-willed child and I know any forced attempt will result in a huge mess and wake up the entire house. I had so hoped that she would just give it up on her own...I don't want my last memories of nursing her to be ones of anger and frustration. I'm totally sentimental about it since she's my last and as much as I would love to sleep, I just can't bring myself to make her quit. Maybe someone has some good ideas...I like the idea of trying to let dad sleep with her, however, in my case, that won't work since he doesn't mind letting her cry.

Good luck.

 

[georgiegirl1974]

I've posted my story here in various places, (search for my other posts for a more detailed story). DD did not want to nightwean. I tried when she was 18 months, and again when she was 2.5 exactly. At 2.5 I held out for 10 nights, but then she began FREAKING out on me, so I gave in. A few months later I was pregnant and night nursings drove me NUTS and made me nauseous. So I decided I had to nightwean her once and for all. She was 2.75 (this was in December.) It was very, very, very painful. The first few nights, she would scream hysterically for an hour or more and try to hit and kick me. It was awful. But since night nursing make me sick, it was much easier to stick with things than before. I decided there was no way this wasn't going to work. The first week, she was frequently up in the middle of the night for an hour or two here and there. I was soooo exhausted (I work full time.) Slowly things got better. It took about a month before the crying went away totally. Now, 4 months later, she sleeps through the night about half of the week and the other half she wakes 1-2 times. She still has bad nights, but overall life is MUCH better.

Before I did this, I explained to her that we weren't going to nurse anymore at night. I let her know she could nurse again at 6am. And I told her what 6AM was on the clock, and when it was morning, I would make sure to turn on the light (so she wouldnt fall back to sleep on the boob.)

Also, my DD is pretty verbal and I know she understood what was going on. That didn't make her like it anymore though.

Overall it was a horribly painful process. They key is consistency. Do not give in. The only time I let DD nurse at night was when she was really sick (double ear infection) and had a fever and was completely freaking out (this was in Feb, 2 months after we started nightweaning.) She only nursed that one night, and that night I could tell things were different. By the next night she was better and didn't even ask to nurse in the middle of the night when she woke up. She had a regular cold the month before, but I didn't let her nurse then.

Oh, when I nightweaned her, I made sure I was NOT sleeping in the bed with her. After she was asleep, I would move to a twin bed in the same room. I think that being physically separated from the boobs helped. I also made sure to wear a long sleeve top over the nursing tank I would always wear to bed so DD couldn't see or have easy acccess to the breasts.

 

[MamieCole]

I think that some kids can be night weaned pretty easily and I think others simply can't, no matter how gentle, persistent, consistent the mom tries to be. My DS is one of the latter. I tried a gazillion different techniques and his will and need for night nursies was stronger than all of them. He is 31 months now and still nursed multiple times per night until a few weeks ago when I became pregnant and my supply dropped. I didn't do anything differently, but I guess since there isn't much milk there he decided that it really wasn't worth the effort in the middle of the night. On his own he dropped most of the middle of the night nursings. I'm 12 weeks pg and most nights he nurses to sleep and doesn't ask to nurse again until early morning around 5 or 6am. He still wakes several times per night, but now he goes back to sleep without asking to nurse. Not sure if this would have happened right now if it weren't for the pregnancy, but I do believe it would have happened eventually.

 

[Leah_R]

I night weaned my dd at 20 mn. And I have to say, I told her no. She did not like it, but IMO if I tell her no about whatever the thing may be, it means no.

IMHO not trying to be mean, but if you do not want your dd to hit you, bite you etc, do not give her what she wants after she does it. Regardless of what it is, from nursing to watching TV.

 

[jitterBug mom]

My DS would eat eat eat all night. I tried different techniques to night wean him, but it seemed like as long as he was cosleeping it was too hard. I got pregnant and it got even more uncomfortable (it was me, DH and DS in a double bed). So at 18 months I got him a toddler bed, not really thinking it would work anytime soon, but why not. We put the toddler bed in a different room that we decorated in bright colors, put a toy kitchen in it etc. Well, he loved the room and he loved the bed! Climbed right in and slept the first night. He still woke once or twice (no where near how frequently he had been nursing) but DH would get up and pat him or give him a bottle and he'd go right back to sleep. I was shocked! In a way it was the best I could have hoped for, but in another way it was very sad to lose the co-sleeping and night nursing all at once - I wasn't really expecting that. I know it isn't the same for every child, but sometimes I think a change in routine can make it easier. Like somehow in his "new bed" he lost the connection to the nursing. And I think it was important that DH was the one who went to him if he did wake during the transition period.

 

[NYMOM07]

the only way i got my 20 month old to nighwean is to go through about 5 tough nights of a ton of crying, and my dh picking him up to put him back to sleep. if he was really hysterical i would bf, but tried not to. i wanted to wean him completely though, since besides the night feedings he only nursed one other time. when i got rid of all feedings, he did "magically" sleep throught the night and it was a miracle. now he has a big bottle of regular milk before bed, which has to be more than he was getting from me (mysupply was slowly dimenishing with the infrequent feedings) and he has been happy every since. the worst thing is to send mixed signals, if you want to stop you have to stop. hth,

 

[Sharlla]

I don't think I would have been able to night wean if I hadn't gotten an overnight job that took me away from home.

 

[ecoteat]

My attempts at nightweaning got me nowhere. The only thing that helped the situation was when dd started sleeping through the night most nights a couple months ago, at around 33 months. But she still nurses when she wakes up in the night a couple times a week. (Or 3 times last night! Ugh! Go away, damn cold.) Then again, EVERY attempt we have made to change any particular situation with her failed. She is the only one who can say when she'll wake up in the night, how she'll go back to sleep, what she'll eat, when she'll use the potty, etc.

 

[mammaof5andcountin]

My youngest is now over three and all gentle tactics to get him to night wean havent worked. Probably doesnt help that he steals it when Im sleeping and I just dont realize it! He is getting better about not having to have it to go to sleep these past 2 nights, but he stays up till like 1 am before he finally falls asleep on his own

Good luck! Wish I could offer you more help, but I cant!

 

[Evergreen]

Everyone has been extremely helpful. Thank you. Last night I saw a glimmer of hope. She and I fell asleep in Dad's bed and then when he came to bed I moved myself into her room where the two of us usually sleep. I can't sleep with my husband as he snores too badly. He brought her to me 5:45!!! That is amazing. She probably sleeps with him once a week, but usually she gets up and he brings her to me around 2 am.

I know my problem is a lack of consistency on my part. When I am so tired it is difficult to tell what I am doing, though and I often do end up nursing her. I think getting dh to show commitment will help a whole lot. I also learned from this thread that getting pregnant might help. Maybe he'll like that approach too....