[itsrtimedownhere]

so the new baby comes in february. i've been doing everything (i think) i can do to prepare him for the birth. we've watched more youtube videos than i can count.

we talk about the baby all the time. he helps me sew baby clothes. he reads my midwife textbook with me. he loves to give my belly hugs and say "i love you, new baby!"

it's the cutest.

what i'm concerned about is what if he starts throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of labor. or what if it starts to get late and he needs to go to sleep but i just can't lay down with him (he nurses to sleep). or what if he's just in one of those moods that he wants to do nothing but crawl all over me.

my husband will be there but sometimes daddy just isn't enough.

a babysitter/ someone to come and play with him is not an option. we live across the country from my family and there is no one in dh's family that we trust in anyway to come and watch him without our direct supervision. they have proven themselves untrustworthy time and time again so there is just no way.

aside from that, no one knows we are ucing and we want to keep it that way until after the birth.

has anyone else been in our situation? how did you handle it?

 

[MittensKittens]

I have a daughter that age, and will be UC-ing this month. I actually opened a topic about it a while back - siblings at birth. You can probably find it somewhere here.

 

[tabitha]

with both of my ucs, things 'just worked out'. i am not saying it was magic, but it all was fine.

the first uc, ds1 was 4 and dd was 2.5. they were *fine*. they would come in the room and ask 'is baby here?' i would say not yet and they would give me space. it was the middle of the night and they woke from my sounds. i had rented an aquadoula & it was nice it have as a barrier to their rambunctious movements. my labor was short- 4 hrs.

i was really worried this time that my not quite two year old would need me want to be on me/ etc. i was really hoping for another late night/ early morn birth. but this last baby was born in the evening right at dark. my labor was short - about 3.5 hrs- and dh just wore ds2 in the ergo and kept him busy. ds1 was almost 6, dd was 4, and they watched movies in the other room, barely even noticed i was in labor.

best wishes to you. the most important thing for me was realizing the birth was going to play out however it was, not however i planned it. i struggled with this more during my 2nd UC than with my first.

 

[bobandjess99]

With my lasy UC, everything just "worked out" also...I labored basically all night, and ds was born in the late morning.....dd woke up as I was pushing, walked over to where I was in the hallway, and plopped down next to us and just watched.
the onyl thing that was a problem was that while we had watched a lot of birth stuff, we did not practice ME screaming....i meant to, but ds came early...and rigth at the end, with back labor killing me, apparently, I was screaming REALLY loudly, and it scared dd....otherwise, all was fine.

 

[passionatepreggers]

When my younger son was born, the older one was 2 years 4 months. He was awesome! I was surprised at his helpfulness. When he woke up to my noises he was a bit upset, but I explained that the baby was coming, just like we had talked about. From there on out he was wonderful. He brought me water with a bendy straw, he occasionally touched me gently and told me everything was okay... in the end he was under me with a flashlight in awe of what was going on. He wasn't pushy, no tantrums, no demands other than immediately wanting to hold him when he was born. I'm glad he was there.

 

[LionTigerBear]

Hi, I am due in February too!

I have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old. I expect to give birth quickly at night while they are sleeping. If they are not asleep, and if I feel like it, we have babysitting lined up, but I think we will just go with the flow and see what happens. I'm not worried about it at all.

I do remember that when I was in labor with number 2, my eldest son was really bothering me with his neediness when I just wanted to concentrate on the task at hand-- but then DS1 was a really needy two-year-old. For some reason I just don't feel like that scenario will happen again. But we'll see what happens this time!

 

[itsrtimedownhere]

that makes me feel a lot better

 

[augustacherri]

Yes, I UCed twice with kids. First UC my ds was 2. Second UC, my son was 3.5 years and my dd was 20 months. They actually did great and weren't a problem (even though they are often a little....challenging). Both times, they slept through the more intense parts of labor (i.e. transition and the birth). It was not really a biggie at all for me.

I will note, though, that we do not have a family bed and my kids sleep in their own rooms.

 

[lanielayne]

With the birth of my 4th, my youngest was 2 1/2. Unfortunately I birthed during the day but fortunately it was a relatively short labor - from about 6 am to 11:30 am. She was still nursing and very clingy to me normally but I made sure she had new things to play with and a new video to watch that we didn't bring out until then. She still bothered me a bit but dh was able to corral her mostly and fed her tons of fruit to keep her happy! She was not frightened at all by any noises or the birth and witnessed it all. I will have a 2 yr old this time around too. Hopefully she will be sleeping soundly!

 

[Moonprysm]

I have a 2 1/2 year old and I'm due in January. I wasn't worried about it until we tried out the birth pool the other night. He would NOT listen. He wanted to stick his hands in, splash, lean on the edge of the pool, ect. I REALLY hope that he'll behave better when I'm in labor, but I just don't know what to think. We WILL have 2 extra sets of hands here (hopefully, my best friend JUST told me today that they're going out of town from 38 weeks until the day before I'm due) specifically for someone to tend to him, but DS hardly listens to me, so I have no idea how he'll react to best friend or MIL taking care of him while I labor. I guess we'll see!

 

[Limabean1975]

There was a story on MDC sometime in the last year or so about a mama who unplanned uc'd with ONLY her 3-year-old in attendance - no partner, no adults at all! Apparently it was great. I'll see if I can find it in my subscriptions!

 

[Limabean1975]

Here it is! Fabulous story - a must read!!

 

[vesper0]

I UCed with a 22 month old. It just worked out, since I woke up in the early morning with labor in full swing, just after 5 A.M. and the baby was born four hours later. My toddler came in when he woke up, around the time I gave birth, to check the baby out. It seems that quite a few moms with young ones already tend to get down to business in those "down times".

 

[itsrtimedownhere]

thanks, limabean! maybe it will be that easy for me too!

 

[Limabean1975]

Quote:

Originally Posted by itsrtimedownhere thanks, limabean! maybe it will be that easy for me too!

I'm totally fantasizing about it being like that for me!

 

[itsrtimedownhere]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Limabean1975 I'm totally fantasizing about it being like that for me!

i'll cross my fingers for you if you cross yours for me.

 

[Marlet]

Our DD1 was 27 months old at the time of our UC. We had a SIL who was willin to come over if and when we felt we could use her. At one point DD1 just got bored and wanted to get in the tub with me (we bathe together so she thought it was unfair I was getting one and she wasn't

). My SIL came over and they hung out. At one point I had Dh tell them to go to the street fest to see my MIL but only because I needed the quiet for a minute (it was as I was pushing). It worked out well. I think if we had had more thins for DD1 to do she wouldn't have gotten bored/antsy. As it was, she was fine with the sounds and movements and everything. Just bored. lol

 

[APMomOfKimmyN-Maya]

For my own unassisted birth in February things just worked out ok. By the time I felt like I couldn't handle my toddler anymore and needed some outside assistance I was already in transition but didn't know it.

The only people present during my entire labor were me, my partner and my 20 month old toddler. About 10-20 minutes before my son was born I started to feel intense pain and I started to panic about whether I'd still be able to handle my toddler girl if labor kept up like that for a few more hours,I called my mom over to help me with my toddler so my partner and I could focus on labor, but luckily for me by the time i had hit that point I was almost to the finish line. My son was born about 5 minutes after my mom walked in the door to help me out with my toddler. So I didn't actually need any help after all but my mom was glad to be there.

 

[Luv2bemommy]

I'm due in 2 weeks or so and I have a 19 mo old and a 3yr old I'm worried about.. I know my other two will be fine. So far my plan is to hopefully labor at night and deliver with everyone asleep but if not and they get to be too much my mother will hopefully take them.. My 19 mo old is super clingy and I don't know if I can do it?

 

[itsrtimedownhere]

so if the new baby is born at night,

: i'm wondering if i should wake him up to meet her/him or if i should let him sleep.

i mean i know i will be able to decide better then but i like to have a picture in my head of how things are going to go, you know?