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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband is circ'ed. After researching the matter when I was pregnant we decided that we could never do that to a child, so our son is intact. My son's penis looks so normal (as well it should, since intact is normal) but now my husband's penis looks really sad and strange to me.

Has this happened to any other mothers with intact sons and circ'ed husbands?
 

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The part that makes me the angriest is that neither DH nor his family seems to think there is anything wrong with circumcision
: I wish DH was a bit more upset about what was done to him, instead he acts like he doesn't care and it's no big deal. I think it's a big deal
:
 

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Me too.
My dh acts like it doesn't bother him, but I think it's starting to. A couple weeks ago our ds, now 2 1/2 walked up to where dh was sitting on the couch, naked. (We're a naked family.) He points to dh's penis and asked him, "Daddy's penis hurt?" I waited quietly for my dh's reply and he finally said, "No, daddy's penis isn't hurt, it's just different." Josiah seemed okay with that answer, but I know the questions will be coming soon enough.

I love my dh and I thoroughly enjoy my relations with him
but I sometimes wonder what I'm missing out on by him not having a foreskin.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Messac888
I love my dh and I thoroughly enjoy my relations with him
but I sometimes wonder what I'm missing out on by him not having a foreskin.
:
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by shaylahc
The part that makes me the angriest is that neither DH nor his family seems to think there is anything wrong with circumcision
: I wish DH was a bit more upset about what was done to him, instead he acts like he doesn't care and it's no big deal. I think it's a big deal
:
This attitude is common among African women who have been genitally mutilated. Depending on the region, up to 90% strongly support female circumcision and insist on it for their daughters. They don't understand all the uproar in the western world at all.

Frank
 

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Quote:
I wish DH was a bit more upset about what was done to him, instead he acts like he doesn't care and it's no big deal. I think it's a big deal
That is very likely not what's going on inside, though. I'm sure he's quite upset. You might be surprised at how many ways that deeply imbedded trauma comes out in your relationship. And I'm not talking about just sex.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
my DH is very angry about his circ. My MIL brought up circ while I was pregnant and we were both very disturbed that she still thinks it is great and will circ any more boys she has. She laughed when DH refered to it as being mutilated. I am positive that the trauma of circ effects our relationship in many ways. And it definitely effects his relationship with his mother as well.

I would also love my DH to restore, but his circ was so tight I don't think he has anything to get it started with
 

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I don't think it looks bad, but now that I know what is missing I can very easily see the difference btw the remainder of the foreskin and the shaft skin and the scar. It makes me curious - I wish I could see other penises or old boyfriends to see what sort of damage they have. From memory, I think dh was very lucky and loosely cut.

Anyway, this feeling comes and goes for me, but I feel your pain.
 

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Yes, I wish he was the way nature made him, but he says it doesn't bother him, so I leave the topic alone. His parents are very loving and at the time he was born (1961) I'd be surprised if they even knew what circumcision was, let alone made a choice about it. His mom breastfed all her kids with no support from anyone so she is a hero to me anyway.
 

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Add me to the list (that nobody really likes to be on)

For me though, it wasn't my intact son, born nearly 16 years ago that made me feel different. It was me getting the internet and seeing intact penises in pictures, not to mention a few intact men in adult videos.

It seems once I saw (almost) firsthand the actual "function" of an intact penis, my dh never seemed the same. I see the complications from his newborn circumcision that I was previously oblivious to...I once used to enjoy looking at that part of his body, now all I see is what is lacking.


My husband can also be a very angry person who has issues with women. Not for a too happy relationship at times. Sometimes I wonder if it has anything to do with the violence he endured in 1960 when he was born.

It makes me so sad that somebody did this to his little perfect body...

Pam
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by CluckyInAZ
My husband is circ'ed. After researching the matter when I was pregnant we decided that we could never do that to a child, so our son is intact. My son's penis looks so normal (as well it should, since intact is normal) but now my husband's penis looks really sad and strange to me.

Has this happened to any other mothers with intact sons and circ'ed husbands?
Yup, totally... I'm just glad that my son's future wife won't have this experience!
 

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I to now look at dh and feel sad for what whas done to him. He prolly has issues but it isnt something we discuss much since he tends to be very needy in some ways. I wounder to what I am missing. Dh is the only man I have ever been with or seen nekked
: but after reading and seeing on the net what a intact man looks like and how the forskin functions I can see how sex might be better. Or at least different.
 

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Replying to the original post, yes, I feel bad when I see my husband.

He agreed to keep our son intact based on the fact there is no medical need, but he still views it as an equality to a circed penis, like its a choice, one is not better than the other. (I disagree, I think he lost a lot) But I guess I dont want to make him feel bad about himself or his mother, he was eager enough to agree with me on our "choice".

On a side note, where in AZ clucky? I am in AZ, I need like-minded friends in the real world, PM me if you do too. :)
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by paminmi
It was me getting the internet and seeing intact penises in pictures, not to mention a few intact men in adult videos.

Yeah, once I saw an intact penis having sex and being manipulated in porn, then it was so obvious why we don't circ. I bet if everyone could see it in action, they would not circ. Dh said, "Wow, that looks awesome!"
 

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I feel this way too. I feel horrible for my dh. He feels horrible too. He seems to be slightly more accepting of his circ than I am. He has a pretty tight circ. No hair growing on the shaft, but slightly painful erections. Plus, when he urinates after sex, he says it hurts so bad. He said he's always known that it is a result of being circed.
 
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