Mothering Forum banner

Has your child been bullied and was the school helpful?

  • No, to the best of my knowledge, my DC has not been bullied

    Votes: 10 30.3%
  • Yes - but I have not involved the school

    Votes: 2 6.1%
  • Yes - and I have been very pleased with the schools responseit

    Votes: 4 12.1%
  • Yes, I have worked with the school, but the results have not been great

    Votes: 2 6.1%
  • Yes, but the school has been useless or detrimental

    Votes: 12 36.4%
  • Yes, but I am undecided on whether the school being informed has helped or not

    Votes: 1 3.0%
  • Other

    Votes: 2 6.1%
1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
945 Posts
My child was bullied and the school didn't do anything about the situation so I pulled him out and he is currently being home schooled. Back last November my son came home really upset and I learned that he was threatened by another little boy with a gun. He said he was going to come to school and shoot my child. I also found out he was being bullied by this boy and 2 other boys, they would tell him he is stupid, call him other names, and poke and pinch him. I went to the school the next day to confront the principal and my sons teacher and basically got the run around. I had also filed a report with the police about the boy threatening to harm my child and the school told me I was overreacting, that as 8 year old does not understand what it means to bring a gun to school and shoot someone. That is BULL! Anyways, they had told me these boys would be separated and they all would be in mediation together and the next day they still were not separated and nothing was done about it so I pulled him out that Monday.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,211 Posts
All I can say is God help the parent whose child bullies my kid.
: I would go straight to the parent of the child involved - forget the school. If I didn't get a satisfactory answer from the parent, I'd go to the school and tell them what I had already done. If I didn't get an answer from them, I'd be on the nightly news and their worst nightmare.

I have zero tolerance for bullying of any kind.

Jenn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,182 Posts
my dd was briefly bullied in kindergarten by another little girl. After that experience I learned they need to count on themselves/me more than the school or teachers-honestly, no matter how much lip service a school gives to zero bullying tolerance it doesn't mean anything if they don't know how to enforce it. DD learned how to put this girl in her place, and she hasn't had one problem in first grade. And I did also have to tell the other parent involved that the girl needed to stay away from mine at recess.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,211 Posts
I realize I didn't answer the original question - yes my DD has been bullied. The girl is a 4.5yo we see at church things. When I figured out what was going on, we stopped going to some things until DD wanted to go back. When we started going to the park day this summer, this same girl tried to start something and I flat out told her to knock it off. I told her to keep her hands and mean words to herself or go play alone. She looked at me for a minute and we haven't had a problem since then.

This same child threw a righteous fit last week at the park when the other girls wouldn't play with her. I know there was some incident involving her and other three girls before hand so I can only figure they decided to play without her.

Jenn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,202 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by rabrog View Post
I realize I didn't answer the original question - yes my DD has been bullied. The girl is a 4.5yo we see at church things. When I figured out what was going on, we stopped going to some things until DD wanted to go back. When we started going to the park day this summer, this same girl tried to start something and I flat out told her to knock it off. I told her to keep her hands and mean words to herself or go play alone. She looked at me for a minute and we haven't had a problem since then.

This same child threw a righteous fit last week at the park when the other girls wouldn't play with her. I know there was some incident involving her and other three girls before hand so I can only figure they decided to play without her.

Jenn
Those 4 yr olds can be really beastly.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,475 Posts
Yup, unfortunatley.
And dd was in a private all-girls' religious school. Despite numerous attempts to work with the administration (the teachers worked very hard at changing things but they had no support from the top and couldn't get very far w/o it and parental cooperation) it was pretty bad.

There were two first grade classrooms and ours had the reputation all over town of being a "horrid" class. And it was. So horrid that I pulled my dd's both out of the school and they're going elsewhere next year. Every time a parent would attempt to deal with the principal, she kept claiming that "this is the first I'm hearing of it" and trying to put the parent on the defensive, making us cite specifics and then poo-poo'ing them.

Sigh.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,202 Posts
Bullies are made, not born. I have found that the most dogmatic environments produce the most troubled children. If a school has a big problems with bullies-- 6 or 7 yr olds etc., it's the fault of the adults, not the children.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,862 Posts
My older son is 14 and I answered yes, he has and the school was useless. I had to speak to the principal a number of times and B has made countless trips to the counselors office to report being bullied. They have this ridiculous "silent witness" program to report bullies that is supposedly anonymous, but as far as I know these bullies aren't brain dead. if I pick on you today and get in trouble tomorrow for picking on "someone" I am pretty sure I can figure out who told on me.
The final straw was about three days before school ended this last May. Some kid pushed B down and he scraped his shoulder so badly that he is now scarred. He lost a huge chunk of skin. The nurse wasn't even going to tell me he was injured either, it wasn't until B insisted that I be called so he could go home for the day that someone even notified me that he had been injured. I was seriously p*ssed to say the least.
We just moved and B is now districted for a different, and from what I hear, better school. Needless to say I will be paying a visit to the counselor and principal there before school begins. I'll be d*mned if B will spend another year getting his butt kicked every day at school.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,339 Posts
My son has had to deal with bullies two times.

The first was when he was in 2nd grade. I gave the little boy the benefit of the doubt and told my son sometimes kids act that way b/c they are afraid to become friends with other kids. Sometimes things have happened in their own life that made them afraid to trust people b/c they have been hurt before, so they lash out and hurt other before they can get hurt themselves. I told my son to try being nice and inviting him to play with him....see what happens. My son and this little boy ended up being good friends. Turns out he had a rough homelife and was trying to not get hurt by other kids at school being mean to him, so he was mean first.

The second incidence wasn't such a great one. There were three boys who had picked on him all through fifth grade. One of the boys was the ringleader and the other just went along for the ride. He actually was in contact with one of the boys without the other two around and my son had zero issues with him. My son wanted to try to work it out on his own, but by the last several weeks of school he was to the breaking point. I called the principal and we talked in person the next day. She also spoke to my son the next day. It turns out this boy was out of line and inappropriate with several students. The principal pulled him from recess and lunch. He was not allowed outside with the other kids at all and had to eat lunch in her office. He was never out of the line of site of an adult. I did talk with a friend of mine and she said the boy is encouraged by his parents to act the way he does. They will be right there watching/listening while he bullies other kids and they do nothing, but laugh along.

I was happy with the school's response to my son's bully issues. The problems ceased for the most part once this boy was removed from the equation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,475 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
Bullies are made, not born. I have found that the most dogmatic environments produce the most troubled children. If a school has a big problems with bullies-- 6 or 7 yr olds etc., it's the fault of the adults, not the children.

What do you mean by the most "dogmatic" environments?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,475 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
Our way or the highway, we don't care about individual needs etc environments.
Ah. Yes, I would agree with that. Interestingly, the school my dd's were in was a smaller school ostensibly geared to a more "homey" and loving, nurturing environment. While that was certainly true from the teachers' perspectives, it was not at all carried through from the administration. Part of the problem was that the principal of the school didn't really have true autonomy to make decisions -- the executive director, whose office is in the school's other branch 30 mins away, insists on being the only person who makes any real decisions. It's extremely frustrating, and the lack of attention to the girls' real educational needs in deference to his megalomania was another key reason I pulled my girls.

The school I"m moving them to is a similar all-girls' religious school, but it's much more organized and they pay a LOT of attention to stuff like bullying. It's simply not tolerated, and I hear that not only from the staff/administration but also from other parents. We'll see; I'm hoping for the best.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,778 Posts
I'll answer this about myself since I have no kids.
I was bullied all through school (first day of kindergarten all the way to the day I graduated). My parents told the schools all the time and almost nothing was done about it. Sorry, but a little 10-minute pep talk isn't going to end someone's bad habits, especially the habit of bullying!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,894 Posts
Yes, my DD was bullied in the 1st grade. It wasn't extreme, but it was enough to cause me concern and the school worked with me and I was happy with the results. The bully was a problem child and he wasn't invited back to the school the next year (Waldorf).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
63 Posts
My daughter was bullied in middle school. It was an awful, awful year. It just happened to be the principal's last year and the lady, I swear, never came out of her office all year long. It was such misery. I had to fight with the school for months and finally pulled her the last two weeks of school. We ended up getting a restraining order for her, but since the school was so inneffective, we thought it was just best to keep her at home for the remainder of the year.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top