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I am currently nursing my 2.75 year old and two month old. Until dd#2 was born dd#1 was nursing once or twice a day. After she sometimes nurses more often than dd#2. (Who is two months old). I try to distract her from nursing etc...but she freaks...screaming and crying. Sometimes she is at the breast (at night) for over an hour. I can't take this anymore. She is nursing 6-8 times a day....how do I get her back to that? Her diaper is overflowing in the morning. I can't stand when she begs and screams for boobie milk. Sometimes she refuses to eat and only wants milk. I do pay alot of attention to her....we do crafts, play at the park, go for walks etc because dd#2 is really laid back compared to her.
If you know what to do please tell me. I am also struggling with discpline....she is out of control.......
I feel as though all the people that told me AP parenting would make her into a monster may be right.
 

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This is totally normal! She is trying to adjust to the changes in her family and she's going back to what she knows makes her comfortable/happy/included....nursing!! I know it seems overwhelming right now, but it may take some time before she realizes that her relationship with you is not threatened by the new baby. I suggest you make yourself available to nurse any time she wants to for as long as she wants to. Only when she's satisfied that you're not "leaving her" for the baby will she cut back to her normal nursing patterns. IMO.

As for the discipline, she's probably acting out for your attention for the same reasons. Not because you're not GIVING attention, but because she's used to having it all. Right now, she needs more than usual to assure her she still has a place with you.

HTH!! Good luck!
 

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I agree with PP. Your daughter just got bumped from being #1 all the time and it is hard for her to adjust and understand. Do you have a partner or friend or grandparent that can give you a break from one or both of your children for an hour or two a week? Just so you can take a shower, a walk around the block, a meal by yourself? No personal experience but I've also heard it is normal for an older child to increase nursing after a new baby comes - all that fresh new yummy milk is back. Good luck
 

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It's not nursing and AP that "made" her that way, it's having a new baby in the house.

VERY typical. Hang in there, give her as much attention as you can. Encourage and praise her for things she can do to help with the baby (bringing you a diaper, singing her a song- whatever you can come up with)

-Angela
 

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My niece was 2 when her new brother arrived. She is NOT AP'd--my sister does bf, does CIO, uses baby buckets (carseats, bouncy seats, swings) as much as humanly possible, puts babe in his/her own room to sleep from the start, etc. Niece reacted much the same way to her new brother--acted out, wanted to be a "baby" again, would make fun of little brother crying, be rough with him, etc. Eventually, she adjusted. I agree with a PP--this has nothing to do with AP, but only to do with the massive adjustment to having a sibling. Your dd will grow out of this--just give her some time.
 

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My 2.75 yo nurses a lot, and I don't have a new baby.

She's in a phase right now where she can get pretty demanding when she wants boobie, often nursing 6-8 times a day, with an hour at night and an hour in the morning
: It feels like a lot some days, but this is my fourth child--I know this will pass and when I look back her nursing years will seem like such a short phase. Before I know it she'll be fourteen and wanting to go hang out with her friends
I just try to meet her needs as best I can on a day to day basis.

I find it much easier to meet her needs if I am getting mine met--that's hard when you have a new baby and a toddler.
 

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On the discipline issue, there is a great book called "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be"--it's fabulous and gives tons of helpful advice on TONS of stuff, including disciplining in a way that is positive and helps your child learn. Highly recommend it
 

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Another good resource would be "Parenting with Love and Logic" We found that HUGELY helpful with our little ones. THey have a book geared to toddler behaviors, as well...we modified it slightly, but many of the things they say are really, quite helpful. Using it changed the tenor of our household almost over night.

On the nursing topic...I'd suggest starting to use a sling, if you're not already. I found that dd didn't know whether the baby was nursing or not, so was not "prompted" to follow suit--too, baby's needs were met, AND mommy had her arms free to take care of the toddler. It made a HUGE difference. Lastly, I'd try to do things like giving the baby to daddy or another partner or caregiver, if you can, at your toddler's bed time, and do the bed time routine just the two of you...if that's feasible. I realized that it wouldn't be at our house, so as SOON as I realized I was pregnant with number two, I started including DH in our bed time routine, and after about halfway through the pregnancy, slowly bowed out completely--I did this with nighttime care, as well, so that dd was completely accustomed to daddy taking care of her night time needs, and I was free to nurse the baby at night without worrying about whether dd's needs were going to be met, as well. Also, we went to the toy store about 3/4 of the way through the pregnancy and let my daughter choose two real baby sized baby dolls. One for her, and one for me. I wore that baby doll in the sling for almost two months, so that, by the time ds was born, dd was completely accustomed to my having the sling on and a lump in it, too!

Since you can't do that, I'd try to see if you can't take care of some special "just you and toddler" time during the day...and use the sling the rest of the day. Hope that helps!
 
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