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Have a LOT to lose - need support. Have you BTDT?

624 Views 19 Replies 14 Participants Last post by  Medusa
So the thing is I really need to lose 100-125#.
I am horrified that this is where I am in my life but I have to face up to it. This summer I was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance although at this point it is mild - thank goodness.

I know that I am not healthy. I am mortified about how I look. I do not want this to be my example to my DS. I want to be a healthy and fit mama who can easily keep up with her toddler. I want to get rid of this weight so that the IR doesn't progress into Type II Diabetes.

The think is - I just can't seem to get started. I know what I have to do but it all feels so very overwhelming. Even getting diagnosed with IR didn't kick me in the a$$ to change my behaviors and get my butt in gear.

I started Weight Watchers a couple months ago but have not been doing it. I am not journaling or managing the points or anything. I eat crap constantly. I was going to start a cleanse and eliminate all wheat, dairy, and sugar but of course there have been a million reasons not to get going on that in the last couple of weeks - some legitimate and some just plain excuses.

I think the biggest problem is that I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It feels so big and so overwhelming. I never thought I'd be in this kind of trouble. I end up feeling like a failure whenever I think about it and I'm quite hopeless.

Have you BTDT? Have you lost a lot of weight? How did you do it? How did you stay motivated and on track? What finally made you "get it" and change your life?

Any support or advice would be greatly appreciated.

PS: I do have a gym membership and I am trying to get there but am failing. I know that I have got to integrate exercise into my life but so far no go. I am working 30 hours/week and am a full-time grad student...
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Just offering some support

I have about 25kilos to lose I guess that is about 60 lb. I have started losing it slowly. I find the easiest way is baby steps. don't go on a major diet change, start by cutting out greasy foods, then later on stop adding sugar to tea and coffee, next time say no to the biscuits and have a piece of fruit instead, they are just examples of what I did. I don't eat pork or lamb at all I have minimal beef, chicken and seafood. I have recently cut out dairy foods because they go straight to my butt. I also make the effort to do excercise on a regular basis, I find that if I say daily and it doesn't happen daily I feel guilty and that's when I lapse so if I just aim to walk regularly I can do that. Any excercise is better than none at all. I have also been trying to get my hormones on track and I find that as they even out I find it easier to become motivated to lose the weight, so that might something to look into as well. Good luck
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Linda in OZ said:
Just offering some support
. I find the easiest way is baby steps. don't go on a major diet change

I am taking this same approach; litlle steps make it easier to succeed and one success seems to motivate me to try another little thing. I have a long way to go too but also try to notice the little changes; wow these pants are not so tight anymore (even if they are still a big size). Baby steps in habits and baby steps in my attitude about myself.
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I need to lose about 100-120 pounds in order to be considered a healthy weight for my height.
Sad huh.
Got married got depressed b/c of new MIL gained weight, then got pg.
had ds1 and didnt loose more than 10 pounds, then got pg again 6 months later and gained and additional 40 pounds.


I'll support you.
Biggest thing is to make oyur diet and exercise a lifestyle, not just a thing you do to lose a few ( or in our case more) pounds and then expect to stop.
Yes... btdt...

here again..

It really is about pacing yourself... everytime i tried to do a drastic lifestyle change in 10 minutes.. it never works..

Pledge to yourself that you're going to use that gym membership once a week....

Cut that one goody out.. the trip to McDonalds....

In a couple, re evaluate, and take another step both on the diet and the fitness.

It's taken me four months... and now I'm working out 5 times a week (30 -90 minutes depending on the weekend)... finally starting to really lose some weight... I didn't lose much the first few months, but I've managed to sustain change. That's the biggy... The reason why I gained a lot back... I stopped excercising.. started eating like crap!!!!!!! You really got to change and anything drastic is hard to keep.

Hang in there and good luck!!!
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Well mamas I need to lose 75-80 pounds...and I KNOW how to do it...I just lack motivation, determination and focus. I totally understand the feeling of being overwhelmed by the man what's the fing point? I can diet forever and I'll still be fat.
But I am soooo sick of it...sick of feeling tired all the damn time...sick of my knees and hips hurting...sick of feeling invisable or hidden behind all this fat. I'm ready to make a change...but I have soooo much trouble keeping up with it and staying motivated day after day.

What say we start a tribe? we can check in at least once a week (or once a day if needed) and and trade Ideas and support? We can start by setting a mini 5 pounds by dec? Something easy so we don't lose motivation...and don't totally blow it with thanksgiving coming up? I'd like to keep the group to just those of us who need to lose signifacant amounts of weight, otherwise I'm afraid we might get discouraged watching those who only need to lose 10 or 15 pounds keep meeting their goals while our weight loss road stretchs on an on KWIM?

Anyone interested? Any other thoughts or ideas?
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Trying to loose weight feels overwhelming not matter how many pounds we need to shed. As mamas, we also seem to have all the possible distractions from our goals, don't we?

I started with little steps. For example: I broken down my goal in small increments (mine was a kilo at a time) and started implementing some dietary changes. Those were the most difficult because I felt sort of guilty eating less since I am still nursing my two year old. It took me a few weeks to realize that my being careful towards food didn't create any damage to my daughter but actually because I started feeling better, my stress levels went down.

Besides the all important more exercise (ie: walks, hikes etc with my daughter) I integrated oriental medicine. In particular , herbal therapy (natural!) and acupuncture.

The herbs and acupuncture also helped me greatly with the emotional baggage that we bring and/or develop when trying to loose weight. This has been a very gentle approach for me and really worked.

I am now pregnant with baby #2 and just stay healthy using herbs primarily to help me with my pregnancy, especially morning sickness and tiredness from the first trimester.

I hope this helps you and I wish you good luck!
Remember, like food, break your goal down in "bite-sizes"!
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I am totally for starting a tribe.
ANd I agree on starting small.
Yesterday i did 50 leg lifts for each leg, OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW
I am hurting todayLOL
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I think it also has a little to do with bfeeding.
I am still nursing ds2 ( almost 10 months) all the time 100%

Man I so totally need to buy a scale but I am scared too.
I really dont know what my actual weight is just that it was about 235 before I gave birth.
Juniper, you may need to consult a weightloss specialist or your own doc if you are having insulin related problems but I totally agree you need to lose weight so it doesnt turn into diabetes.

my moms side of the family is all overweight anf horribly plauged by diabetes and dh's G-ma died b/c of it.

Originally Posted by JesiLynne
I think it also has a little to do with bfeeding.
I am still nursing ds2 ( almost 10 months) all the time 100%

Man I so totally need to buy a scale but I am scared too.
I really dont know what my actual weight is just that it was about 235 before I gave birth.
or you could skip the scale and go by your measurements....sometimes I do that, just depends on which one is the least likely to depress me...weight or measurement.

Maybe if there both bumming you out you could use a string or piece of yarn and tie a knot in it to mark your current measure...that could be exciting...having a whole string of knots to remind you how far you've come!
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Has anyone read "8 Minutes in the Morning for Real Shapes Real Sizes" by Jorge Cruise? (I found mine on ebay for less than $10!) It looks promising! I'm going to start it tomorrow. It's specifically for people who want to lose more than 30 lbs. Looks very do-able!

I need to lose about 80-90 lbs, and it is *so* overwhelming!
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I'm sorry, I didn't read all the posts..
but I want you to know that I am 90 lbs lighter than I was after my pregnancy. I lost 8-10 lbs per month by doing ww. Highly recommend.
I can relate.
I find that I am an emotional eater.
I eat when I'm happy.
When I'm sad.
And I blame a lot of other things for my poor choices and habits.
Not enough time.
Too cold.
Too tired.

And I hide inside until it's time to buy a larger size of pants.
Cause wearing a skirt now is just a crazy, long gone thought.

My hips are hurting all the time.
I'm sad because I feel jiggly.
I'm angry because I let myself become this.
I'm excited because I can change it.
I'm happy because I control how things go from now own.

Take a deep breath and take ownership back of your body.
And know that you are not alone.
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yes I have been there and yes I lost it...well within 10 lbs of my goal.

Everyone has said and they are right...BABY STEPS....but it kinda depends on your personality and your motivation level. Motivation amount = step size. If you are super motivated your step size might be larger. Everyone is so different and responds to different methods differently.

For me I HAD to have crap in the house so i wouldn't eat it. If there were no cookies in the house I would go buy a box and have them half gone before I got back home. If they were in the house they would sit unopened for months.

You really need to analyze yourself and figure out what are your weak points and then make a plan for yourself that you are MOST LIKELY to succeed at.

For me I have OCD severely. I cannot START anything any ole time of the month I have to start on the 1st or the 15th. So I had to work my plans and start on those days knowing my weaknesses.

What it took to wake me up was falling and hurting myself in a nightclub. It took 3 grown paramedics and my husband to carry me out. That was it for me...when my knee healed I never looked back. That humiliation was something I NEVER wanted to feel again.

I guess what I am trying to say is it can be done. YOU CAN DO IT. You have to want to #1. Then you need to analize you and see what will work for you. What are your strengths and then you weaknesses and then go from there. The # 1 motivator AFTER you get started is seeing that number on the scale drop. The more you lose the easier it is to keep on keeping on day after day. Put a photo of yourself in your slimmer days on the fridge and on the mirrors in your house. The same picture. Make it a reasonable picture also...not an unattainable one. It can't be you at 16 cause honey not many of us will ever have that bod again. LOL Another thing that worked for me wa putting a scale by the refrigerator dorr so i had to move it to open the door. And on the pantry door I put a note that said how much I weighed that day where I had to see it when i went into that cupboard. And lastly I put a HUGE YAY!!! YOU ARE DOING IT!!! sign on the crisper drawer and fruit drawer inside the fridge and on the water I buy for drinking. Lemon in H20 works wonders for not liking water also. Oh and one more thing if you are like me I have to set water goals, I NEVER remember to drink water. So I buy it in gallon jugs and it is my goal to drink it in a 24 hour period. I drink it out of the jug ( I know I am a hillbilly lol) But I watch the water line go down and I watch myself get closer to my goal of finishing it. It does not matter when I finsih it or what time (could be 3 am) I open the next one and look at the clock and I say ok by this time tomorrow this baby has to be gone.

Anyway sweetie, I know it is hard trust me I have been there. It is SOOO hard. There is no plan or diet that is easier to do than the next, only what works with you. No matter how you go about doing it the doing is hard. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Physically and mentally. But the rewards I cannot describe. To have energy again, to feel sexy again, to run and jump and play again, to have your child hug you and get their arms around you again, to see men look again, to hear how beautiful you are....its amazing. And you know...when you start to make some progress those foods you indulge in now won't be NEARLY as good as they seem now. I remember after I lost my first 60 or so I thought I so deserved a twinkie or some gross sh!t like that...I remember TASTING the nasty fat in it. I spit it out after one bite. It was the single grossest thing I have ever eaten to date. I had just come so far I wasn't turning back and my mouth knew it. From that point on it had to be SOMETHING REALLY GOOD to cheat for. And I mean REALLY GOOD. Nothing short of cheesecake (homemade) or expensive chocolates.

You need to set little goals and reward yourself (NOT WITH FOOD) after you meet them. Like at every 5 lbs take a 1 hr bath and hubby has to watch the kids and you get NO interruptions. Then the biggies 25, 50, 75, 100 do something wild for yourself. Like for me my 50 lbs mark I got a piercing I had always wanted. Then at 100 I got something else similar. You could do anything a pedicure whatever.....

Ok I think I have said enough I could go on and on and on.....Best of luck.

Middle Mamma
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I'm going to start a spin off of this thread for those of us who are wanting to start a tribe/support group.

I hope all of you (and the op who brought us together) will join!

Look for the Lose-a-lot mamas thread!
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About 12 years ago, I lost 30 lbs, and kept it off for about 8 years. Then I gained it back in 2 years. Then I lost it again. Then I got pregnant with ds1 and gained 62 pounds. Lost it all, except for about 10. Then I got pregnant w ds2. Gained about 45 lbs. Have lost 20. So all told, I'm still 35 lbs over where I want to be and where I should be. My knees and hips and feet hurt too. So it's from the extra weight, huh?

I exercise about 5 times each week, and pretty hard too. It doesn't do me much good though, because I simply eat too much.

I just have no motivation to stop eating, though. First of all, I'm still nursing and pumping (part-time, he's eating a lot of solids now too), so I'm hungry. Second, I've got two little kids, working 4 day weeks, trying to keep up with everything, I'm exhausted. Eating is the like one refuge where I don't have to be controlled and regimented. I'm having a hard time giving that up. I know I'll feel better if I just get some control over my eating (my diet is not junky - I eat mostly good foods, just too much of them) but I just can't seem to get started.

I would like to join this group too.
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I lost 70 pounds after my daughter was born. what helped me the most was learning a lot about whole foods and following that really closely. i also cut out my dairy. I would go off and eat something off the list about every 2 weeks or so, but because i was eating healthy, the weight still fell off and i DIDN'T weigh myself more than once a week. processed sugar was also off the list. I did not count calories/fat and honestly you don't really have to if your eating this way. for example, I still ate natural peanut butter, walnuts, used olive oil as a sole cooking fat, a lot of tofu, tempeh,brown rice, quinoa, hummus, whole wheat pitas and breads, (tho don't eat more than 2-3pieces of bread a day) and of course a ton of fruits and vegetables. I juiced a lot and made smoothies a lot because it takes time to do (keep you busy while you still think about food) and then what you make is really good for you.

then, i got away from whole foods healthy's hard when your dh eats crap all the time and i have gained back 30 pounds. I learned a lot in the last year or so about my weight and how my hormones affect my eating patterns. for example, if i kick ALL processed sugars out of my diet, which is really hard for a couple days, then i completely stop craving it and my body naturally starts to crave natural foods/fruits etc. it makes eating nutritiously a lot easier.

ithink something that is key to gearing up to lose a large amount of weight is to concentrate on nourishing your body. you know that walnuts are good for you, so eat 1/4 cup a day, they are not going to make you fat, but they will reduce your heart disease and cholesterol. before you eat something ask yourself if you are nourishing your body,mind, and soul, or do you just want to eat. if you nourishing your body, you will lose weight and you will stabalize where your body needs to be.
*i was eating at LEAST 2500 calories a day and eating nuts, olive oil daily and still lost weight rather quickly...i also was walking a few times a week which more than anything helped keep me energized to eat well.

you can always pm me if you need/want to.
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Can I join the tribe?

I'm 5'6" and 233 pounds (approximately, I'm on metric system) - I've already lost 18 pounds since January.
My goal is 150 pounds - so I have to lose 83 pounds or at least half of it before my second pregnancy.
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Originally Posted by HealingBeam
Can I join the tribe?

I'm 5'6" and 233 pounds (approximately, I'm on metric system) - I've already lost 18 pounds since January.
My goal is 150 pounds - so I have to lose 83 pounds or at least half of it before my second pregnancy.
YES! The more the merrier!

I've started a spin off thread for anyone wanting to join this tribe :

Come on over and introduce yourself.
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