[happeeevraftr]

I'm so excited! I emailed the midwife telling her my situation and asking if she would see me and she wrote back a very awesome and reassuring email. I am going to see her on Monday afternoon, with my husband. She said the 1st appointment is always free, and usually lasts about an hour! Each subsequent appt. is at least 1/2 hour (longer if needed). She sounds great. Her fee is very reasonable too--only $1500 and it includes all kinds of things including waterbirth supplies. That's probably less than we would end up paying for a hospital birth with insurance!

This pregnancy and birth will be dramatically different from my first. With my first, I knew nothing about any other options, and I grew up with the view that labor was unbearable pain--my mother scared me so much that I used to tell people I would be adopting my kids because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle labor! So, like 99% of everyone else in my city, I got the epidural right away.

I have some issues with my first birth experience that I think will be resolved if I can have a natural birth this time around. I am so excited that it looks like my husband might come around to the homebirth thing. Well, that's judging by the fact that he hasn't said anything negative about it since I read him the email from the midwife, and he's agreed to go to the appointment with me Monday. So, I have hope!

Anyway, just wanted to announce that. Anyone else in this group planning a homebirth?

 

[grace's voice]

Congrats! That sounds awesome, and VERY affordable. Our insurance covered 85% of my last homebirth... and so we still had to pay $800 out of pocket, plus we had to rent a birth tub. Luckily, my doula included the tub in her fee (and it was a very good price). This time I'm using a different doula (because mine doesn't do it anymore), but this one doesn't have her own birth tubs so we'll have to rent one separate.

I had an AWESOME homebirth with Juels. I wouldn't change a thing. I'm hoping this pregnancy will go well and I'll be able to have another one. One tip, I personally wouldn't attempt it without a doula, a good doula. Ours was such a blessing and I think this one will be too. Having her there allowed my husband to NEVER have to leave my side, and I so needed that. She took care of everything. She told me what I needed to hear (from another woman) when I needed to hear it. She always had fresh juice and water for me (and I drank several gallons). She made sure the air smelled like lavender, and that my lips didn't get dry, and that everyone had breathmints. She took pictures and got the video going. I really wasn't aware of much, but the fact that Anna didn't stop moving the entire time didn't escape me. She even helped clean afterward, cut stems off strawberries and brought them to us in the bedroom, helped me clean blood off places i couldn't see

: This woman even shamelessly dug through our undie drawers to get us both clean, dry pairs! Aside from that I can honestly say that if it hadn't been for her I wouldn't have been able to bf
(LONG story!) My midwife was there and her assistant also, but they were really only focused on the medical side of things, and that was fine with me. It just happened naturally.

And incase you need any reassurance, at one point I said "I don't want to do this anymore"... my doula kindly reassured me that that meant I was transitioning, that it was a GOOD sign, and that it was almost over. I already knew this, but I needed her to say it. This is the point most women ask for drugs. So I stopped to think, if I could stop this pain right now with meds would I? Heck no. All the other feelings were too awesome! You can do anything you believe you can! ... and I assure you this is coming from the worlds whimpiest whimp.

 

[happeeevraftr]

Your doula sounds great. I don't know if I could squeeze the extra $ out of dh, or our budget, but it would be nice. I'll have to ask my midwife how many people assist her, but I know the group that she used to practice with always has 2 assistants, and I was imagining she would still do that. She seems like she will be good at taking care of me though. She said right in her email that she always creates a caring relationship with her clients and she "looks forward to nurturing" me as well. The use of the word nurture really makes me like her

I am trying to wrap my mind around the idea that labor isn't really supposed to hurt. I want to take a hypnobirthing class. I can totally see how being relaxed and not scared will let your body work and do it's thing, and you won't have much pain. (Although I can't see how the actual pushing of a baby out of your vagina could possibly NOT hurt!) I think part of why my first labor went so quickly is that I had the epidural (not that I want one again) and so I didn't feel a thing, and I figured it just wasn't bad yet. The thing is, I had never talked to anyone who said they had an epidural and it worked perfectly. Everyone told me, oh yeah, I could never do it without an epidural, even with the epi, it hurt like crazy. Or it wore off, or something. So I was just sitting there chatting on the phone for a couple hours thinking the real pain hadn't begun yet, when the nurse came in to check me and said I was crowning! What did I know? I couldn't feel a thing.

Anyway, I don't want it to happen like that again--I want to be AWARE of what's going on in my body. I just think if I can relax like I did with the epidural, my body will work properly and it won't hurt. And I want to take the hypnobirthing to teach me HOW to relax like that!

 

[grace's voice]

That's too funny, I was just checking out the hypnobabies website for the first time wondering if it could help me. I'm a Bradley freak myself. Bradley is super relaxation oriented, but I have several panic disorders, so naturally its hard for me to relax! We did do a lot of meditation during Bradley class though. I think now that I have a husband who will actually do the relaxation exercises with me that will help tremendously, last time I was on my own for all the preparation (and scared out of my mind!).

Typically epidurals slow down labor, sounds like you had a pretty good birth considering. I just think it's so awesome that you're going to try a more natural approach this time. I was just reading a story where a woman used hypnobirthing. When she was talking about pushing the baby out she said that she envisioned crushed ice pouring out of her. At first I was like, huh? And then I tought, that makes sense. Pushing primarily feels like buring. As if you've been set on fire. Its wild, so it makes sense to envision something cooling. I was really scared of pushing the first time too, and am sorry to say I am even more so this time. Luckily, there's time to work through those issues!

Your midwife sounds great. While I really like my midwife, she is also a naturopathic doctor and so she works more like a doctor than probably most midwives do. She really just monitored my labor, and though I really like her, we never really "bonded." So it sounds like you will have plenty of support.

 

[MidwifeErika]

I am so thrilled for you! My second baby was born at home and I am planning another homebirth this time around! I LOVED my homebirth... it really is amazing how much easier it is to cope with all of it when you are in your comfort zone, your clothes, eating your food, drinking your drinks, etc.

I found that giving birth the 2nd time around wasn't pain like injury pain, but more like running a marathon sort of pain. My muscles became tired and sore and achey.... but it wasnt like something was wrong, KWIM? And I do think a lot of my perception of it was because I just did a lot of mental work on it before giving birth. I changed my ways of thinking about birthing pain, which helped me keep it in a positive light. It is easier to not become frightened if you know that your muscles may feel that way because they are working so hard and not because there is something wrong or that you can't do it.

I hope your plans go wonderfully and that you really feel connected to your midwife. It can be such a powerful and healing process.

 

[grace's voice]

Hey Cathryn,

I just wanted to let you know that just before I responded here last night I put a post in the birth and beyond forum asking about how the hypnobabies program worked for people. There are really great, encouraging responses if you wanted to check it out.

 

[lillake]

Congrats!

Yay for getting to see a midwife that you like, and is pretty cheap in cost.

I would love to do a homebirth, it sounds so relaxing and peacful everytime I hear people talking about it.

 

[*guest]

Hi, I'm planning an HB (first baby). I interviewed several midwives and picked the one my husband and I clicked with the most. My mom did an HB with my younger sister, so it seems natural to me to choose that. Although I have caught all kinds of crap from friends and (husband's) family when I mentioned it, I must say. But who cares, they don't have to do it

And it feels like a weight off my mind to think I won't have to fight with a hospital about anything.

Re: the ideas of birth equaling pain & letting go of trauma, I've found the books Birthing From Within and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth to be very reassuring. We're considering trying Hypnobirthing too, but I'm the type of person that deals with pain by moving around, so I'm not sure if that works with the hypno concept. We'll see. We're going to try the water tub (your midwife can probably help you rent one if she doesn't have one), and we're having a doula, so I feel like we'll just try to go with the flow.

Best of luck!

 

[grace's voice]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommitola Hi, I'm planning an HB (first baby). I interviewed several midwives and picked the one my husband and I clicked with the most. My mom did an HB with my younger sister, so it seems natural to me to choose that. Although I have caught all kinds of crap from friends and (husband's) family when I mentioned it, I must say. But who cares, they don't have to do it And it feels like a weight off my mind to think I won't have to fight with a hospital about anything. Re: the ideas of birth equaling pain & letting go of trauma, I've found the books Birthing From Within and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth to be very reassuring. We're considering trying Hypnobirthing too, but I'm the type of person that deals with pain by moving around, so I'm not sure if that works with the hypno concept. We'll see. We're going to try the water tub (your midwife can probably help you rent one if she doesn't have one), and we're having a doula, so I feel like we'll just try to go with the flow. Best of luck!

The hypnobabies program (www.hypnobabies.com) allows you to move around during labor. I heard that Ina May's Guide to Childbirth deals with the fear of pushing, so I ordered that one from the Library. They didn't have Birthing From Within

These books are probably better bought than borrowed anyway, I'm a big fan of highlighting

And, all, don't let people make you feel bad/scared about the kind of birth you choose. I had a perfect HB last time, and still when I mention it to my family for this time they give me guff about it. My grandmother insists I shouldn't do it at home because it will be even faster than the first one... duh! That's why I WANT to be at home! Last thing I want is to deliver myself on the freeway! They're still pushing me to vax my 3 year old and this baby too

 

[Gray's Mommy]

I'm getting anxious for our 1st appt with our midwife...I know there is no reason to go early-but I still want to go in

We are planning a homebirth for this little bean also. Our midwife owns a birth center & does HB also.

 

[soon2be3]

We had two beautiful homebirths with our two sons and are planning a homebirth for #3 as well. The second was a waterbirth and I hope that will happen again this time.