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On the heels of <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=14661050#post14661050" target="_blank">this</a> thread, from last week when they were sending ds to the principals office and the "time out room" (seclusion room) without my permission... what happened today just blows me away.<br><br>
On Wednesday I had a conversation with the special ed teacher about the use of the seclusion room and I specifically told her that if the need arises for Owen to be in that room (and made it clear that refusing to do his work is NOT a good reason) I am to be called immediately. Ditto if he's sent to the principals office. Ditto if he's just having a rough day and they don't know what to do with him. I am to be called IMMEDIATELY. Wednesday Owen had a better day, Thursday he had a good day and Friday he had a GREAT day.<br><br>
When I dropped Owen off this morning he was in a good mood, he'd had a good weekend, I assumed he would be fine today. I was busy at work so I didn't bother to go visit him during the day (I did last week on Wednesday and Thursday), plus I hadn't gotten a call from the teacher today so I assumed he was doing fine.<br><br>
So I got out of work and went to the school. I lined up in the car pick up line to wait. DS's aide always brings him out and right to my car, so when the other kids started getting into cars I was a little concerned. Then the aide came from the back door of the school (he never does that), without ds. Uhhh.... k. The aide was really upset, said ds had a really horrible day, wouldn't do any work, wouldn't listen to the teachers or him, he actually kicked the aide today (I'm shocked.... he's not violent unless pushed to his limit). The aide said that ds was sent to the principals office once and the "time out room" once (that time was for the kicking incident). He then went on to explain why ds was still inside... apparently they got into a disagreement- ds didn't want to wear his jacket, the aide insisted he had to. (Little background.... ds has been having issues with coats/sweaters lately. If it's nice- we don't fight it... this afternoon was sunny and 64 degrees. Ds was wearing an undershirt and a long sleeve shirt... he was hardly going to freeze). So I guess ds finally decided to put on the jacket, but insisted it needed to be zipped (another quirk of his lately). His aide apparently refused to help him, saying that he would help him when they got outside but that the class needed to leave so he had to get moving with them. When the aide told him this- he melted down. On the floor kicking and screaming and throwing a mother of a fit (for good reason, in my mind). The aide gave up on him, gave him to another kindergarten rooms assistant and came out to find me.<br><br>
So after I hear all this I had to wait until I could get my car out (the way the car pick up line is, once you're in it you can't get out until everyone in front of you in line is gone). So I finally got out, parked my car and went to find him. I found him in the other Kindergarten room, happy as a clam <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I got him, took him to his room to get his stuff and tried to find someone to talk to about it. His teacher was already gone. His special ed teacher was gone. His OT was gone. Nobody was there, which is amazing since it was only like 10 minutes after the bell rang by the time I got up to where he was. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> So I got ds and went to where the "time out room" is. I showed it to him and asked if he was in there today. He said yes, and after some poking and prodding told me that his aide took him there, the aide stood outside the room but that he kept the door open this time. I also found that they had added a desk in the hallway by the door to that room. On top of the desk was a "time out room log", which listed which kid was in there, what day, time, how long, who put them in there and why. Confirmed that yes, indeed, the aide did put Owen in there for 5 minutes today for kicking him. I have a feeling this log was not meant to be where parents could see it though <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> One boy was recorded as being in that room like 50 times so far this school year! Some days he was in there a dozen times <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> And I know it's a special needs boy because of the teacher who signed him in.<br><br>
Anyway.... all that to say that I still haven't received a phone call from anyone at the school. I did go to the principals office before we left and ripped her a new one. She agreed that there is a lack of communication (really? I couldn't tell) and that I should have been called today.<br><br>
I made up a 2 page document detailing every single aspect of seclusion and restraint for these.... ummm.... fun people and have printed off enough copies for every. single. person involved in DS's schooling to have a copy. NOBODY will be able to say they didn't know. It WILL be added to his IEP tomorrow too.
 

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i wouldn't blame you at all for blowing up on them. i'd be calling a lawyer at this point. i can't remember for sure but you don't have any other schooling options right?
 

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That log definitely should not be where parents can see it. That's a serious privacy violation.<br><br>
I would also be considering calling a lawyer. Is there a private placement you'd like? That's one possible conclusion to legal action is that the public school has to pay for placement elsewhere, although I'm not at all familiar with what sort of claims you would need to successfully make to get there.<br><br>
Catherine
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>crl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14683870"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">That log definitely should not be where parents can see it. That's a serious privacy violation.</div>
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I have no idea if they meant to leave it there, but it does only list the first name of the child- not the last name- so I'm sure they can get away with it like that. For the entire log for this year there's only been like 5 different kids sent to the room.... but there's almost 3 full sheets of entries already so those same 5 kids are being sent over and over again. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
His teacher called me a few minutes ago, apologizing for never calling yesterday. She claims she "didn't know that was happening". WTF?!? How can you not know a child in your class is having a day like *that* where he's getting sent to the principals office and the time out room?!? Did she not wonder why the aide was in the room but ds was nowhere to be found (when he was in the principals office)?? Did she not even notice? I think that makes me even more upset than when I thought she was just not calling me.<br><br>
Needless to say.... it will be a fun meeting this afternoon <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> After I get out of my class (at 10:45) I'm going to run to his school to check on him.
 

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I don't think it matters that there is no last name. Most likely you knew which kids the log was referring too, right? Even if you didn't automatically know, you could figure it out pretty easily, I imagine.<br><br>
Here's a link to a bit about the federal education privacy act: <a href="http://www.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html" target="_blank">http://www.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html</a><br><br>
I don't think that's the heart of your problems with the school, but it makes me really mad for those kids.<br><br>
Catherine
 

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I hope you did blow up (as calmly as possible, of course). Clearly what you saw in that log indicates that the school is having a big trouble supporting kids with behavior issues. That many trips for one child clearly indicates that either the setting is inappropriate for the child, or that the teachers have no behavioral tools for dealing with him in what would otherwise be an appropriate setting.<br><br>
As you mentioned, reinforcing a child's desire to avoid work by removing him from the classroom in two different ways, is not what they should be doing with your son.<br><br>
It's pretty clear to me, that the staff is acting in a reactive rather than preventative way, and that they are focusing on punishments rather than setting up a situation where the children can be rewarded and good behavior and work reinforced. Your post about the sticker chart and his good/hard days really clarified that.<br><br>
I'm not sure what you can do at this point, except to demand that a behavior specialist be brought in to create a positive behavior plan (PBP) for ALL the staff to implement for him. I was at a legal conference last week and one thing the presenter really stressed was having a third-party do an observation, and then join the IEP team with suggestions and help. surely you can do it, and create a great plan for Owen, but often the staff don't implement it unless it comes from an "expert".
 

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If the seclusion room is meant to be a punishment, obviously it is not working well for the child that gets sent 12 times a day. I think that you have every right to be angry, and I do not think it is unreasonalble to expect a call when your son gets sent to the principal's office. Our school district does that with EVERY kid, every time in elementary school and jr high.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>anj_rn</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14688104"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If the seclusion room is meant to be a punishment, obviously it is not working well for the child that gets sent 12 times a day. I think that you have every right to be angry, and I do not think it is unreasonalble to expect a call when your son gets sent to the principal's office. Our school district does that with EVERY kid, every time in elementary school and jr high.</div>
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I get a call if my child has visited the nurse! I can't imagine not being called in the OP's circumstance.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>karne</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14688087"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Steph, any updates? I am feeling anxious for your LO.</div>
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Yes and no. We were in the meeting for 2 1/2 hours and we still weren't done. We called it a day though and we will be meeting again tomorrow at 11 to try to finish it up.<br><br>
Overall, I'm happy with the way the meeting went. With all of us brainstorming together, we got some great ideas which will hopefully help Owen. We did compromise on some things, which is fine with me because there are things I will dig my heels in and refuse to budge on.<br><br>
When it came to seclusion and restraint (I typed up a 2 page document detailing seclusion and restraint and made a copy for everyone)... it suddenly turned. They basically avoided talking about it and said they needed time to read over and think about the document I presented. Fair enough, so we'll meet tomorrow. HOWEVER, they said that they have guidelines on the use of seclusion and restraint so I asked for a copy of them before our meeting tomorrow. I just got those through email and it's... umm.... interesting. It basically points out that the school has been using it wrong. It's not to be used for a punishment or discipline. It's to be used as a "last resort emergency safety intervention".<br><br>
"Seclusion to control unsafe behavior should be used only under the following <span style="text-decoration:underline;">emergency</span> circumstances: 1. The student's actions pose a clear, present, and imminent danger to himself/herself or to others. 2. Less restrictive measures have not effectively de-escalated the risk of injury. The seclusion should only last as long as necessary to resolve the actual risk of danger or harm."<br><br>
Somehow I don't think refusing to do your work and laughing at your teacher qualifies for needing a "last resort emergency safety intervention".<br><br>
There's a lot more to that document, of course, but that's the basics. The coordinator who emailed me also said that there is a reporting sheet which is to be used every time a child is placed in a seclusion room. She included a scan of this sheet, which is actually very detailed. I have requested a copy of this filled out sheet for both times Owen was in the seclusion room... which will be interesting because there is a spot on there to mark that a parent was contacted (date/time and parents comments). Hahaha.... should be interesting to see how *that* is filled out.<br><br>
So.... we are making progress, digging deeper and actually making the school work a bit. They were actually a put off when I told them I was not going to sign the IEP as it was last night, that I would take it home and look it over <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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We had another 1 1/2 hour meeting today with the school. We dug deeper still and some of what we learned was shocking. Apparently the "guidelines" for seclusion that they emailed me is something new, something other schools in the county use with more severely disabled children. So I asked to see the guidelines this school uses.... which they said they don't have ANY guidelines for seclusion/restraint! WHAT?!? Basically they leave it up to the teachers discretion <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy"> Needless to say, there's no reporting sheet either (other than the vague log book) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
We did get them to agree to get ds's aide the training for seclusion/restraint. That's after I backed them into a corner and forced them to admit the truth that ds's aide took him to the seclusion room without the knowledge of anyone else who has the training (he currently doesn't and, legally, is not supposed to use seclusion/restraint since he's not trained). Obviously a lot more happened but that's the short version. We had to quit at 1 1/2 hours though and there was still more to discuss so there will be another meeting.... after Thanksgiving I think.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>StephandOwen</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14685029"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">His teacher called me a few minutes ago, apologizing for never calling yesterday. She claims she "didn't know that was happening"...<br><br>
I'm going to run to his school to check on him.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Homeschool time, eh?<br><br>
I'd be at my wits end, mama. You could call a lawyer or the police - I'd be <i>floored</i> if you couldn't file an assault charge against an untrained employee restraining your kiddo; I'm sure this is the case in therapeutic foster care type settings with kids who may actually need to be restrained. I doubt you'd even have to file charges - mention in your next meeting that you will reserve that option and it will never happen again, natch.<br><br>
Good luck! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Just so you know, it is the law (at least in MA) that only employess trained in restraint can restrain your child and anytime your child is placed in seclusion (calm down room - whatever you wish to call it) they have to record the length of time. There is then a slew of paperwork that must be filled out and filed with the state. It's a big deal to have to put a child through that.<br><br>
I would check the law, possilby check with a lawyer who would like to make a name for himself. Restraint and kids in schools is an bad situation. I hope the best.
 

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This thread has been a shocking and very saddening eye-opener. My mom has been working in special ed since I was in middle school in Los Angeles. I had never heard about the use of seclusion rooms so asked her about it. She could not believe the things that I described from this thread and the policies in other school districts. I am so sad for your sweet boy and all other children that are treated in such a terrible way. I can't imagine using such tactics on any child, but especially a special needs child. You are a great mother to stand up for your child - please do not relent. This is not an accepted practice in all school districts and for good reason.
 

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I am from a rural area in Nova Scotia, Canada. The things you describe seem rather common. Restraint is another issue, however.<br><br>
We have limited special ed. and teachers are not well educated about special need issues. Specifically, mental health issues that surround the complex behavioural and emotional roller coasters these kids face.<br><br>
My mother was a grade 3 teacher for 30 years. I think she only had an aide for special needs kids a couple of times and she had anywhere from 20-35 kids per class. I grew up with TS and had huge anxiety issues, so her learning curve was far different than that of co-workers, some of whom are still there!<br><br>
Now my 7yr old TS is going through the same system. She is very lucky that she has no learning difficulities but super sock sensitivity and OCD behaviour is certainly not understood and not well tolerated <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
P
 
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