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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Seriously how can a person make serious plans for Thanksgiving when you are already dilated 3cm and 50% effaced?<br><br>
My mother in law wants us to come for Thanksgiving... ok well that sounds great and all but she wants to know for sure so she doesnt buy too much or make too much if we don't come...<br><br>
Ummm hello, gonna be having a baby and not entirely sure when. I told her a couple weeks ago during a visit that I'd have to let her know closer to Thanksgiving... ok so now its closer and dh is bugging me for a solid answer, as if I could be sure of anything anyways, this baby could come tonight or not for another couple weeks.<br><br>
Then he says he just wants to be fair to his mom... as if me skipping going to his folks to stay home and birth their grandchild would be unfair?! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><br><br>
They are at least a 40 min. drive away, it's not like if my water broke we could just take off and go home (we are planning an UC) and if the baby came a day or two before it's not like I'm gonna be ready to take myself and a newborn along with our other two munchkins over there just to eat food! I would think that they should be the ones coming to me to meet the new baby and bring momma a much appreciated and tasty meal.... For some reason his mom doesnt think that way however and even commented on our last visit that we should or would still come even if the baby was only a few days old.... ugh<br><br>
Is it just me or is dh's mom just nuts!<br><br>
Dh is lucky that he brought this up over the phone while he is at work, if he had been here I would've slapped him.
 

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Yeah, I don't know if we are genetically wired to be annoyed with our MILs right now or what, usually I get along really well, but man is she bugging me now, because there is no way in the world we'll be able to get a van before the baby is born, and probably now for several months after. Now she is all freaking out about it.<br><br>
I just want to kindly ask people to go away. Its not like its the end of the world! Geeze, Americans and thier big dumb cars!<br><br>
I hope you have a lovely birth, without the holiday stress! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I understand. Mine wants to know if I am going to be there for Christmas.
 

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Seriously... aren't there always leftovers on holidays anyway?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Eat"><br><br>
We said we'd have Thanksgiving at our home so we're not traveling... and still get to spend time with family; however, we also made it known if LO decides to be a Turkey <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> that all bets are off. Our family is pretty understanding though.<br><br>
For Christmas I already made everyone aware they are more than welcome to come over and use our home (to cook and clean up), but that we won't be preparing anything or traveling elsewhere.<br><br>
I'm sure one side will be slightly miffed about Christmas, but at this point I'm blowing most of it off. This is our first child and we have a lot of learning, bonding and just chilling out with our first child to do... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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YOu know what?<br><br>
I would just tell them you are going to be staying home. You are too tired to travel. Or you could send your hubby and kids along and stay home and get a rest and get them to bring you leftovers.<br><br>
Seriously, say this, "you know, I really think I need to rest up and stay off my feet. I will be sending along the sweet taters and please take pictures for me. You are all in my thoughts."
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
If she wants a firm answer, the only answer you can give and know you can follow through on is no.<br><br>
Seriously, who puts this kind of pressure on a pg woman to nail down a date?
 

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Goodness! So she thinks that you, like, secretly know the precise day that your baby is going to be born and you're just selfishly keeping it from her??? I think your MIL is off her rocker, especially if she expects you to come even if you're only a few days postpartum and have a tiny newborn.
 

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What a nutter. My MIL brought me a calendar TWICE and asked me when I was having the baby. I think by this time around she finally got that I couldn't tell her when I was going to birth and if it interrupted her holiday, so what?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you Nichole - I'd go with no. Call them up on Thanksgiving & have a nice talk instead.
 

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Plain crazy. Since her concern is quantity of food, I'd say yes. Better to have too much food than not enough. Then if you have to back out last minute...they can send you a to go bag of food or whatever. Like somebody else posted...holidays are all about the leftovers anyways! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Or just ignore her...lol Sorry - that's not helpful!
 

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I would tell her no thank you, that you need to be home resting and ENJOYING your thanksgiving, not worrying about traveling 40 minutes to appease someone who cares more about herself and what is best for her.<br>
To smooth over any gripes you could throw in that you will try you best to make it for christmas and that if they would like to see the baby before then that they are more than welcome to come and visit YOU.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Ok see, I knew I could count on my other very pregnant mommas to totally get why this is bugging me... dh doesnt get it, he's concerned about his mom and being "fair" to her, grrr... what is wrong with men sometimes? It's like, Hey! I'm the one who's carrying your baby! WE come first!<br><br>
Oh and now I have a deadline... lol she HAS to know by noon tomorrow. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
Sooo, I think I'll say yes we <span style="text-decoration:underline;">plan</span> to be there, BUT<br><br>
1. if the baby comes or I feel like a train wreck they should expect that we WONT be coming.<br><br>
2. She HAS to get egg nog, my fave brand... lol I gotta have something to look forward to when going over there <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I would just say no but I've been craving Thanksgiving dinner for the past couple months! And we are moving next monday and have lots of stuff packed away and will be needing to work on cleaning and I hate the idea of having all that cleaning go to waste since I know it'd be a big mess in the kitchen and seriously who wants to clean that up after cooking a big meal? So having dinner here is out of the question...<br><br>
Maybe we could just hit up Golden Corral... hmmm I'll have to think about that tonight, after all I have til tomorrow to decide. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
I do enjoy visiting Dh's folks... to an extent... but the way his mother thinks just irks me sometimes, like thinking I'd head over with a babe only a few hours old or even a few days old, she also babies dh and never backs me up when dh does stuff like "cleaning" the dishes but in reality they still have food all over them and telling me if I want something done right I need to do it myself. Or dh eating all the raw honey in the house knowing full well we couldn't afford to go and buy more and it's meant for sore throats and sick kids, MIL tells me that I just need to make sure I buy him his own jar <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">.<br><br>
He's a grown man! He needs to put his family's needs before his own desires and in the case of cleaning, come ON it's not that hard to make sure its done right the first time! I'm still working on him with the half way quality of his cleaning but it doesn't help when MIL says things like that.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>NSmomtobe</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14709400"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I understand. Mine wants to know if I am going to be there for Christmas.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao"><br><br>
my SILs too! what do you mean you won't be there for Christmas? 'Cause, um, I'm like due 12/30......<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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MIL is nuts. I'd skip going.
 

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Um, I think we have the same MIL. And mine is about 15 min. away further than yours. My policy with her is, and has been for a while, that if you have to know *right now* then the answer is no. But I like the idea that someone posted--tell her yes, and if you can't/don't want to go, she'll just have a little extra food! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Eat">
 
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