Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 24 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,289 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm curious as to how many Mamas have done this. My DD will be 4 next week & I'm not planning on buying her anything for her birthday <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: . We will celebrate with cake & do whatever she wishes for the day, but there won't be any presents.<br><br>
She had a birthday party last week with about 18 kids & she got a lot of stuff. When I asked her if there was anything she was hoping for that she didn't get she said "No". I just can't see buying anything just because.<br><br>
So has anyone else done this & how did it turn out?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,802 Posts
Well, only one of my daughters has had a birthday yet, 2 in fact.<br>
I threw a party for her each year. She received gifts each year from me, her dad and other family members. Her first party she also received a gift from a friend of mine.<br><br>
My youngest daughter just turned 1 yr old yesterday.<br>
We're having her birthday party at my mom's house on Saturday.<br>
We haven't bought her anything yet, because we don't have any money. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
I'm sure my husband will make some commission today, and we'll probably use that tomorrow morning and get her something before her party.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
553 Posts
My children each get well planned birthday parties. We usually do that in lieu of a gift, and they've never noticed.<br><br>
They do get gifts from their siblings, grandparents, and friends.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,662 Posts
We've never gotten our 3.5 year old anything for his birthday. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: It's right after Christmas and we try to discourage friends and family from giving gifts for his birthday as well. He's never noticed.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,205 Posts
Planning and hosting a birthday party is the gift.<br><br>
If she had no party I would get her something to open on her birthday. I think a party is plenty!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,446 Posts
Dh and I have been talking about this a lot lately. Neither of us likes the rampant consumerism that comes with birthdays and christmas, and ds gets so much stuff that it's really overwhelming, especially since his birthday is only a month before Christmas. What we're thinking of doing is starting a tradition whereby the only gifts we give our children for christmas and birthdays will be simple, high-quality, and home-made. We will buy NOTHING (aside from a few supplies) and we will only give one or two gifts.<br><br>
I am making ds a waldorf doll for his birthday in November. I'm putting a lot of time, love, and effort into this gift and I don't think I'll be getting him anything else.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
We did the whole "donate to this charity in lieu of a gift" thing for our dd's first birthday. It was awesome, we bought a llama for a family in guatemala through heifer international. Some of our people were into it, but a lot of people got her presents anyway. It's sort of frustrating feeling trapped in that tradition.<br>
If she's told you she's satisfied with all her new stuff, though, then I can't see her being disappointed. You can make the day special for her in so many different ways. They're young enough that they can learn to appreciate a whole new way of doing things, I think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
205 Posts
I haven't really bought many birthday gifts for my son, to tell you the truth and he'll be 10 in the next couple of weeks. I can only remember 2 presents during his first few years. Instead, I usually have a little bday party and may buy take him bowling or something but he knows that my present is putting a party together or getting him something he NEEDS rather than fill up his room with more toys.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,467 Posts
Well in her case I'd say her party was her gift. I'm assuming you hosted it provided the decorations food etc.. That can very much be a present. We do buy Birthday a birthday present. We also keep it small. SHe gets a toy present from us one from Grandma and a book we get a pizza (her favorite) and take her to a park where she can play. When she a little older she'll start having BD parties and we will likely consider the party pretty much her gift. (though I'd likely always get somethimg)<br>
Now I have the birthday close to Christmas thing (Jan 12) and both peers and my parents and other grown ups were always giving me a "christmas/birthay" gift and that was really sad. I fought really big feeling on that for years. especially watching my older brother have full birthdays and his birthday was just two weeks latter <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
371 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>octobermom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8993164"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Now I have the birthday close to Christmas thing (Jan 12) and both peers and my parents and other grown ups were always giving me a "christmas/birthday" gift and that was really sad. I fought really big feeling on that for years, especially watching my older brother have full birthdays and his birthday was just two weeks later <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I understand your feelings completely. My birthday is December 7th. It always irked me that my closest cousins got to have separate birthday and Christmas gifts/celebrations because their birthdays were in April, May, and August. To this day, one fellow Sagittarian friend of mine flatly refuses to accept any birthday gift that is wrapped in Christmas paper.<br><br>
To the parents of children born in December and January, I humbly offer this suggestion: Celebrate their birthdays at the halfway-point. Instead of having a lame and compromised birthday on the day they were born, have a special day just for them when there aren't any holidays around to co-opt the celebration.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
584 Posts
DDs birthday is in May. We did not get her a gift this year. I think we got her a book the year before (can't really remember). She is super social, so we always throw her a wonderfully fun bday party. For me, that is a huge gift (I despise parties).<br><br>
I was flamed, in real life, by my MIL for not getting her anything. DD could have cared less.<br><br>
All that said, we regularly will get her things...a matching game, a bike (if and when she wants one), a rock<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> , a fish, a mirror (no not all at once...but when we all decide its worthwhile and useful...or just cute, as in the fish).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
210 Posts
I always get them a b-day gift, but it is back to school clothes for three of them & hey, their friends bring toys as gifts. However one of my children once got a lump of coal from Santa, but that is completely different, since the point was for him not to like it.<br><br>
to those whose children are content without additional gifts:<br>
Personally, I would congratulate yourself on not having a greedy child!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,662 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>octobermom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8993164"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Now I have the birthday close to Christmas thing (Jan 12) and both peers and my parents and other grown ups were always giving me a "christmas/birthay" gift and that was really sad. I fought really big feeling on that for years. especially watching my older brother have full birthdays and his birthday was just two weeks latter <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
This is a problem I expect to face when my son gets older. So far he is only 3.5 and just this year going to parties he has the idea that you bring a gift for the the person's birthday. Next January at 4 I'm sure DP and I can get away with no gifts, but I doubt I will be adding it to his party invitation, like I have in the past. I also am due with a baby any day now, and so I have warned DP we have to start making a bigger deal out of our sons birthday because it will be so much easier for our next child to have parties or other options in the summer months to celebrate.<br><br>
I have one friend who's birthday is the middle of December and she said it went both ways for her. She often got cash gifts from family, so she would save everything from her birthday and then together with what she got for Christmas she could usually get something pretty nice for herself. And my DP's family tends to do that same thing (cash) so maybe my son will have that to look forward to in his teen years. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,753 Posts
My ds doesn't expect gifts from certain people so he is pleased if someone gives him something, but doesn't notice if a particular person does not. But I like to make sure he gets presents that suit his interests, too. So I tend to give him gifts when he isn't getting a bunch from other people or if I know he would only be getting something he didn't care about, like clothes. I would have no qualms about getting him nothing if he had a party and received a quantity of gifts from other people. I don't think I gave him anything for his first birthday or the first 2 or 3 Christmases.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,228 Posts
I think that if you are your kids are happy not doing gifts, that's great and it works for you. A party is a big deal and kids do get loads of things from other people anyways.<br><br>
Personally, I LOVE doing birthday gifts for my daughter. I am not particularly consumeristic about it though. I don't go for masses of things or disposable stuff. I always get a small number of things that I know will be really special and cherished by her for a long time. I think that's the way gift giving should be in general!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
217 Posts
I would try it, but have a little gift tucked away somewhere in case she noticed the no gift thing and was upset by it--wouldn't be worth creating a sad memory--but if she would be just as happy than no gift sounds great!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
262 Posts
We typically let the grandparents and aunties take care of giving Christmas and birthday presents. (There are also step-grandparents on my husband's side... both sets tend to give quite a bit.)<br><br>
I have a tradition of buying a special book for the kids on Christmas. When they were little it was just a board book-- simple but meaningful. That is usually the only gift I give them.<br><br>
I have also made dd books on the computer with photos of our family. I made her one after ds was born with a story about her becoming a big sister. She also loves having her own photo album with pictures from the holiday or other special outing (for example, one year we went to the zoo for her birthday and I put the photos in a small 4X6 album for her).
 
1 - 20 of 24 Posts
Top