I feel like I keep losing friends. We were best friends with another couple throughout college and during our pre-baby years. We drank and played games together, went out dancing, went shopping, etc.
Now we have kids and polar opposite parenting styles, and everything has changed. Their philosophy is that having children should disrupt their lives as little as possible. Their children should fit into their lives. This is summed up by the statement: "I don't allow our children in our bed. It is mine and my husband's bed."
The mother is sleep training her preemie who wants to nurse every two hours throughout the night. The kid is smart--he knows he needs to gain weight faster than other babies.
She is "vegetable training" her three year old. It goes like this: At the beginning of each meal, she puts a small serving (five peas, for example) on his plate. If he does not eat it, he does not eat. Period. It hasn't happened yet but based on my knowledge of her, she would never give in.
She did a similar thing when weaning from the bottle. He would not drink cows' milk in a sippy cup. So she gave him only cows' milk in his sippy, no water. She "thirsted him" (to use her phrase) into drinking cows' milk. She said one day he did not have very many wet diapers and she was getting a little worried but the next day he started drinking milk. Of course he did! The poor thing was dehydrated.
She weaned him from the breast at exactly one year. The week he turned one also happened to be her spring break from work so she "had to do it that week." Unfortunately it was also the week he got a stomach bug. So she just postponed weaning, right? WRONG! She said it was so hard to pace the floor with a one-year-old while he cried but she could not give in because it was her break from work and she needed to accomplish the weaning at that point.
I don't mean to judge her but it makes me feel sad to hear stuff like this and I just do not feel that our friendship is contributing to my life in any way anymore.
The worst part is her and her dh's "boys will be boys" approach to discipline. Their son is very aggressive and is quickly learning to be a bully. When we are at their house he bullies our son, also 3, who cries. They call him a wimp and say he needs to toughen up. They say it with a smile like they are kidding, but they're not.
Their son stutters quite a bit all of a sudden and they can't figure out why. Hmmm, birth of a sibling, lots of stress, little or no effort to accomodate his needs now that a baby is in the house. Example: The baby plays on a playmat in the front room with them. The older child must play in the back room. When he comes to the front, they say, "Go in the back room!" While back there he watches TV shows such as Scooby Doo. Go figure.
AND this mom has a BA in psych and an MA in early childhood education.
I feel like I can't be friends with her anymore. I have other friends like this who have changed so much since having kids but I won't take up any more of your time. I am just curious if this has happened to anyone else who practices AP and/or NFL.