Mothering Forum banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,512 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I just finished reading “Protecting the Gift” and liked it very much. Made me aware of so many more dangers than I use to think about and I’m still processing the information. My dd is only 6 months old (my first child) and of course I’m kind of paranoid regarding her safety. The book emphasizes in trusting your instinct, but sometimes it’s hard to do it, even sometimes I think that “I think too much”. How would you trust more your instinct? Have you had any personal experience in which your instinct saved your child? What about if you feel something about a family member, how could you validate/disregard those feelings and being objective about it?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,748 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by Eggie</i><br><b>What about if you feel <span style="color:#FF0000;">this is instinct</span> something about a family member, how could you validate/disregard those feelings <span style="color:#FF0000;">this is your rationalization of your instinct</span> and being objective about it?</b></td>
</tr></table></div>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,748 Posts
sorry if I misunderstood your post.<br><br><br>
Hey there's been a couple of times when I felt uncomfortable at a store or whatever, feeling like someone was "shopping too close" or I dunno, you know what I mean. I get a little "weirded out" by someone. Instead of going into an internal dialogue rationalizing the situation, I leave, or make eye contact, assess my surroundings, whatever it takes to make that feeling go away.<br><br>
I was in some precarious situations (more than one time, yikes) as a child, and by listening to my gut feeling I'm sure I avoided some scary situations. I had one guy follow me into a womans bathroom in a restaurant when I was 10-11 yo.<br><br>
I always listen to my gut feeling even if it goes against what others would find normal.<br><br>
Oh gosh, I'm really tired (sleep deprived) I'm often not the most articulate person around. I hope I made some sense.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
819 Posts
I had one really dramatic experience, but I classify it as more of a miracle than an instint. (I'm a Christian, and I really feel that this was a message from God.)<br><br>
DH has never been entirely comfortable with cosleeping. We did it at the beginning, but he always seemed a little nervous, even though I showed him the research that says it's safer. When DS was about 4 months old, he started preferring to sleep in his own crib, so I moved him out of the bed, and he's been very happy there.<br><br>
Well, about 2 months ago (DS is 10 months now), DS started waking up more frequently to eat at night. It was really wearing me out, so I brought him back to our bed. He didn't sleep as well in our bed, but at least I could feed him while laying down.<br><br>
After that had been going on for about a week or so, I was dreaming one night, and someone came up to me in my dream and said, "Cosleeping is very safe as long as both parents agree that it's best." I thought to myself that DH didn't like it that much, and I opened my eyes. DH's pillow had moved and it was over DS's head.<br><br>
I don't know if having a pillow on DS's head would have ended up being tragic. He was 8 or 9 months old at the time, so it's entirely possible that he would have moved it in time. But it scared the daylights out of me. Now if I do need to sleep with the baby, we go to the guest room and let DH sleep by himself. I guess he was trying to tell me all along that he sleeps too soundly to have the baby in the bed with him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,334 Posts
Hi Eggie,<br><br>
Are you thinking about some specific scenario?<br><br>
I tend to freak out most of the time, I dunno, I'm also rather paranoid. However, sometimes, I know that I don't want my child to do x, y or z just because I don't want, no rationalization. I usually do whay my guts tell. Although this is a complex world and there are other people you need to listen to (father, grand parents, etc.)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,798 Posts
I have not read that book and an intrigued...I have found,with my kids,that if I only react drastically when I feel very strongly about a situation,they do so much better in their surroundings.My kids (2 and 3)are comfortable and very good with pins,scissors,pens,pencils,heights,coordination in general,etc...I beleive because I do not freak out(outwardly)when they first explore these things.It seems all their cousins and peers who have been lovingly discouraged from exploring these items are forever falling,poking,cutting,and otherwise hurting themselves...Just an observation, and I don't let,or invite them to run in the street,run w/scissors,play with knives,etc...They are well supervised,and i trust them to learn their limits,rather than stretch mine.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,346 Posts
I haven't had to listen to my gut in a danger situation with ds thankfully but I've had many in minor circumstances. When ever I lose something or forget something if I think back there was a voice in my head that said, "Don't leave that there you will forget it or it will get stolen or whatever." I KNEW it was going to happen and it did. I really try to listen to that voice.<br><br>
My husband is an avid motorcyclist and things often fall off motorcycles - parts, belongings, etc. He told me that if you lose something if you go back to the spot where it first occurred to you that it might be gone, that's where you'll find it. This was proven when one night we were driving back from my parents on the bike. My parents had given me a cheque and I'd stupidly put it in my chest pocket. Halfway home something was bugging me so eventually I checked my pocket. The cheque was gone. We went back to where it had first entered my head that it might be gone and we found it.<br><br>
I try to coach my son in listening to his gut. If he's doing something new and I can tell he's a little scared (like climbing on the jungle gym) I'll ask him "Does that feel safe?" If he says "No" I'll suggest he not do it or ask for help.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
737 Posts
There is one instance that really stands out in my mind. There is a scenic overlook at the top of a hill that we like to go to at night and watch the stars and the valley. One night after Dh and I had been bickering, he decided really late to take Dd to this spot, and asked if I wanted to come. I didn't really want to, didn't want to be around Dh after our fight, but I went along anyway. While we were there I stayed in the car and Dh and Dd went to sit on one of the glider swings. After a while I had this overwhelming feeling, and "heard" a voice tell me to leave NOW. I was completely freaked out, called for Dh. He immediately picked up Dd and came to the car, something he normally wouldn't do when miffed at me. I didn't even say anything to him, just reached for Dd through the window. He got in the car and I said leave now, we didn't even put Dd in her car seat (something I would NEVER normally do), We just drove down the hill as fast as possible. On the way down a couple of cars came racing up the hill to where we had been parked. I have no idea what would have happened had we stayed, all I know is that we had to get out of there. I was shaking and crying the whole way home because it had been such an intense experience for me. Afterwards Dh said that he could tell by my voice that something was very wrong, thats why he had immediately and unquestioningly come to the car.<br>
I have a very strong intuition that I try to always listen to, but this was nothing like I had ever had happen before, very wierd. For almost a year I didn't want to go back to that spot.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,512 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Wow, all this stories are fantastic, thanks for sharing them... I just came from a mass and I like very much the priest that celebrated it, but tonight was a good example from what bothers me, and probably bothers everybody: even though that I really like him and will love him to guide my child into our religion, after so much publicity about priests molesting kids, I cannot stop getting worry (and I haven't feel anything specifically about him) but my main question here is: how do I know if it's a gut feeling or if it's an idea developed by the events surrounding that person? (Poor priest, he's so nice, but he was good for my example tonight). I hope I was clear :LOL<br>
Please share more stories!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,240 Posts
I can tell you what happens when you don't listen to our intuition. When ds1 was 8 months he was very sick, after a couple of visits to the doc she precribed him penicilin. As I had an allergic reaction to it a few years prior dh and I questioned her decision. It really just didn't feel right. I always follow my intuition, but this time I thought I was just being paranoid (I dislike most things medical). After several days of him being on the abx I awoke out of a deep sleep. I knew something was wrong and immediately scooped my ds into my arms. He had just stopped breathing and my grabbing him startled him enough to take a breath. He was having an allergic reaction to the penicilin. It was scary, but thankfully I paid attention to my intuition the 2nd time around.<br><br>
Laurie
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,127 Posts
I get what you're asking- how do you tell the difference between a gut reaction/insticnt and paranoia. Since I'm really paraniod, I've learned the difference, lol. It's really hard to put into words, but a gut instinct is intense and lasts- it doesn't go away unless you rationalize it away, and even then it's still there, just pushed down. Sometimes I would get anxiety/panic attacks and think bad things were going to happen, but then they would subside and I'd feel fine. Gut insticnts aren't like that.......<br><br>
Geez, I don't think I'm helping. Sometimes I do still struggle with the difference.......but having lived with anxiety I know that anxiety is different.....lol I'm not making sense!<br><br>
A little test I do is this- if I'm feeling uneasy about something upcoming, all day...all evening, all night, and I wake up the next day and feel absolutely fine about it, then for me, I know that this was anxiety. If I still feel uneasy, then I know it is a gut instinct. Also, I light candles and meditate, which also helps.<br><br>
Gut instincts are from the soul; anxiety/paranoia is from the mind (what I believe, anyway).<br><br><br>
Kristi
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top