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Discussion Starter #1
<p>about not finding out the sex!</p>
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<p>My ultrasound is Friday.  I really want to know BUT I have said since before I was even pregnant that if I ever had a 3rd baby it would be a surprise.  But now I'm starting to think who cares if we know.  UGH!  Am I just having cold feet because its so close to the ultrasound?  I'm not opposed to finding out, the only reason I don't want to know is because we found out twice and I want to know what its like for the surprise. </p>
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<p>My whole family wants to find out (except DH who says he doesn't care but I have to tell him what I want to do BEFORE the u/s) so he can make me stick to it). </p>
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<p>I keep thinking that if we don't find out we won't get anything for the baby- and its been 5 years- we have NOTHING!  I guess thats probably dumb pregnancy hormones at work but still... </p>
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<p>I figured if we did find out we could have her put it in an envelope and we could open it on Thanksgiving right before dinne with all the family there and it would be a really cool family memory.  I just DON'T KNOW!!</p>
 

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<p>Not sure if I can help you with this since we changed our minds too! I thought from the start that I didn't want to know the sex before the birth (mostly because I like the surprise, but also to avoid receiving tons of pink or blue baby stuff). But when I reminded my husband that we don't want to know, he was like, "we don't?", and I promptly forgot why I didn't want to know. So we are going to find out at our next US next month. </p>
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<p>I like your idea of getting the doc to put the results in a sealed envelope. That way you don't have to rush into a decision this week. Opening it on a special occasion (like Thanksgiving) is a fantastic idea! Plus you can always change your mind once you've thought it through further--if you make a rash decision to find out, you may be disappointed with yourself afterwards. </p>
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<p>My new thinking is that it is a great surprise, whether you find out now or in 5 months. </p>
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<p>i was up in the air right until the u/s and then i decided not to do it. i found out last time and can say that i do kind of like not knowing. is this baby is a girl, she will be wearing all of my boys baby clothes because i don't plan on buying anything (well, maybe a one special outfit *just in case*) :) </p>
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<p>i think that if you decide to go the envelope route, you'll probably peek before the baby is born fo sho.</p>
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<p>do what you want to do, it's your pregnancy! </p>
 

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<p>I can relate. We found out with our other 3 but want to keep this one a delivery surprise. It's been hard so far! Everyone always asks what we're having and people looked shocked when I say that we're not finding out. Shopping has been interesting but I managed to find enough gender neutral clothing to get us through the first month or so (I consigned a lot of my baby clothing a long time ago so nothing left for hand me downs).</p>
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<p>It's tempting to give in and find out at the 20 week u/s but I think the surprise at birth will be really fun and exciting.</p>
 

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<p>will it be exciting and worth the wait? or is it just exciting to have to baby?  I'm not one of those have to plan ahead people that HAS to be prepared.  I just think its fin to find out.  will it be super fun to wait and find out at the end or will I just be like oh exciting...it's a boy/girl...could have found that out 20 weeks ago. </p>
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<p>and on a side note...you already have a months worth of newborn stuff...holy crap. I am SO behind!!</p>
 

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<p>i think the gender neutral stuff if vastly better than the boy/girl stuff anyway. seems like most of the boys clothes in particular are just too grown up and yucky. i don't need to put my brand new baby into army clothes! he does not need soccer balls! when they're babies, they don't really have genders anyway. just boy and girl bits. the clothing seems way over the top to me. i'm a girl, and i don't wear pink every dang day! (or ever). but, i obviously have issues with kids clothes lol</p>
 
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<p>It's so hard NOT knowing. I have nowhere near enough self-discipline to not find out, and my 6 year old is one of those children who does not like surprises, it takes him a little bit to adapt to change, and we wanted him to be prepared especially if it was two little sisters! I don't regret finding out at all, for that reason alone. And sue me, I'm not ashamed, I LIKE the pink frilly stuff!!! Probably because this will be my first and only girl, and surrounded by brothers and we live on a farm, so I'm going to enjoy dressing her like a girly girl while I can!!! :love But yes, personal decision and all, I DO like the Thanksgiving idea a lot though- and it would be a real treat to share that with the family, a gift they'd never forget!</p>
 

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<p>I have no idea what it's like to not find out.  I'm having a really hard time waiting until our u/s at 18 weeks so I definitely don't have the patience to wait until the birth!  Honestly, the thought of going into the u/s and not being able to find out (like if LO doesn't cooperate) makes me so anxious! :)  So I can't help with your 2nd thoughts but I think the envelope idea is a good one!  It would be fun to share at Thanksgiving if you decide to that.  Or maybe just having the information if you want it will help you relax enough to wait.</p>
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<p>I also love the girly, frilly pink stuff! </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>StarCat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279697/having-2nd-thoughts#post_16049616"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>will it be exciting and worth the wait? or is it just exciting to have to baby?  I'm not one of those have to plan ahead people that HAS to be prepared.  I just think its fin to find out.  will it be super fun to wait and find out at the end or will I just be like oh exciting...it's a boy/girl...could have found that out 20 weeks ago. </p>
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<p>and on a side note...you already have a months worth of newborn stuff...holy crap. I am SO behind!!</p>
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Well, I can't really answer if it will be worth the wait since I've never waited before. It was DH's idea to wait and I know that if I were to find out and he doesn't, I would slip up somehow. He owes me big time for this great act of patience on my part. <span><img alt="lol.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/lol.gif"></span></p>
<p>Yeah, I stocked up when I found onesies/sleepers that weren't pink or blue or plastered with footballs or flowers. I managed to find great deals on some organic solid colored clothing on eBay. Stuff in the stores can be few and far between. I get sooo sick of everything in pastels. Bring on the earth tone and jewel tone baby clothes!</p>
 

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<p>I'm all for the surprise. We did it with the first - it was truly like having a second gift beyond the "it's a baby!" and my husband and I treasured it. </p>
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<p>that said, this one we are finding out. We did it that way, and now we'll try the other way and see if one is better than the other. You've done the finding out....why NOT try the surprise? You might love it so much more, you never know. </p>
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<p>Along the same but different vein...we're finding out on Thus, and I sat down to my sewing machine to make a baby carrier this morning. As I was sorting through my fabric trying to figure out if I should use neutral colors or some of the nice girly (has more pink etc.) prints I have...finally I realized "this is stupid. I'm finding out in two days, I should just wait."</p>
 

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<p>DH and I didn't decide until 5 minutes before the ultrasound if we were going to find out or wait.  We already have a girl and boy, and both were born in the same season as this one will be, so it wasn't like I needed to get anything at all, I have frilly girl stuff, I have gender neutral stuff, I have boy stuff.   This is probably our last as well so it would be our last chance not to find out.  So we found out and are expecting a little boy!  I just couldn't hold out, I figure it is a surprise at 20 weeks just as much as it is at 40 weeks. I really like knowing and I think if we do have a 4th we'll find out again as well.</p>
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<p>I am impressed by anyone who holds out, but I figured out it just doesn't work for me, and I am quite happy to know I am having a little boy in 20 weeks, rather then waiting 20 weeks to be told at the birth "It's a boy!".</p>
 

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<p>I think it's totally preference. We like to know because I like to be prepared and I'm not big on the yellow and green stuff. But that's just me. We have nothing in the way of newborn clothes since this is a surprise baby so I'm excited about finding out what we're having next Monday!</p>
 

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<p>I found out with my first two and opted not to find out with the third to try the whole 'surprise' thing.  To be honest, there was very little surprise when he was born (and I had had a very strong girl feelign the whole pg).  It is hard to describe, but there was just a kind of 'oh, of course it's you' feeling to it.  It may have been different had that labor not been so long and hard, I don't know. </p>
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<p>So, I've done it both ways and I WAY prefer knowing, so that is what we will do this time.</p>
 

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<p><br><span>Quote:</span></p>
<div class="quote-container">
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>nadia105</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279697/having-2nd-thoughts#post_16050423"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I found out with my first two and opted not to find out with the third to try the whole 'surprise' thing.  To be honest, there was very little surprise when he was born (and I had had a very strong girl feelign the whole pg).  It is hard to describe, but there was just a kind of 'oh, of course it's you' feeling to it.  It may have been different had that labor not been so long and hard, I don't know. </p>
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<p>So, I've done it both ways and I WAY prefer knowing, so that is what we will do this time.</p>
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I kind of have been feeling that is how it would be.  like...its exciting enough that the baby is there.  and that the boy or girl part of it is like the 20 week surprise and the whole baby is the 40 week surprise. </p>
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<p>Now the only reason I want to wait is because my family said I could never do it and I don't want them to be right.  I do think if we do decide to find out I will get a blank card and write something in it like "Dear Family, This thanksgiving one of the things I am thankful for is that in April Sada and I  will have a little_________!"  The tech can fill in brother or sister and seal it up.  At Thanksgiving we usually go around and have each family member say what they are thankful for.  I was thinking my 6 y.o could read it out loud to everyone.  Of course I'll have to video it!!  and I won't tell anyone about it so they won't know what to expect- especially not dd who is reading it.  She would go crazy waiting that week!   So that is the plan...if I do decide to find out.  But I still might wait!</p>
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<p>and fwiw....put me on the list for pink and sparkly..LOVE IT!  not as much for me but for sure on the girls!</p>
 

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<p>We changed our mind the other way.  I found out with DS and DD and with my 20 week ultrasound coming up I'm leaning towards a surprise this time.  We were going to have them write it down and not open until Christmas but I think the surprise at the end of the delivery would be really cool.</p>
 

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<p>We did not find out with the first two. It was neat that way, and a big surprise. I was convinced both were girls... and ok I wanted both to be girls lol. But honestly, I was so out of it immediately after each birth that the surprise of it was almost anticlimactic. What WAS fun, though, was making phone calls and being able to announce what it was to everyone, because no one else knew either.</p>
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<p>DH doesn't want to find out this time. I didn't either at first, but the closer we get to the U/S (next Tuesday) the more I'm thinking I want to find out with this one. I'm very impatient to know if this is a girl. I don't want to go through the next 20ish weeks convincing myself it's a boy but hoping for a girl. I'd kind of like to enjoy the pregnancy without that constant "is it a girl?" question hanging over my head. Did I mention I really want a girl? <span><img alt="shy.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/shy.gif"></span></p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>bleumoose</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279697/having-2nd-thoughts#post_16051732"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>We did not find out with the first two. It was neat that way, and a big surprise. I was convinced both were girls... and ok I wanted both to be girls lol. But honestly, I was so out of it immediately after each birth that the surprise of it was almost anticlimactic. What WAS fun, though, was making phone calls and being able to announce what it was to everyone, because no one else knew either.</p>
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<p>DH doesn't want to find out this time. I didn't either at first, but the closer we get to the U/S (next Tuesday) the more I'm thinking I want to find out with this one. I'm very impatient to know if this is a girl. I don't want to go through the next 20ish weeks convincing myself it's a boy but hoping for a girl. I'd kind of like to enjoy the pregnancy without that constant "is it a girl?" question hanging over my head. Did I mention I really want a girl? <span><img alt="shy.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/shy.gif"></span></p>
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<p><br>
:D me too! let's cross each others fingers :)</p>
 

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<p>Well I found out but DH doesn't know. I was thinking about trying not to know, but I had so many u/s that it just became impossible to not notice. I am still buying things, though. I don't think you have to shop less because you don't know, although it's not like you'll just pick up next year's Christmas outfit on clearance either. I don't think it matters- it's fun to know,  it's fun to wait. GL deciding!</p>
 

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 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>kaPOW!</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279697/having-2nd-thoughts#post_16051821"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>:D me too! let's cross each others fingers :)</p>
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<br><br><p>Deal! <span><img alt="baby.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/baby.gif"></span></p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>StarCat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279697/having-2nd-thoughts#post_16050516"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p><br><span>Quote:</span></p>
<p><br><br>
I kind of have been feeling that is how it would be.  like...its exciting enough that the baby is there.  and that the boy or girl part of it is like the 20 week surprise and the whole baby is the 40 week surprise. </p>
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<p>Now the only reason I want to wait is because my family said I could never do it and I don't want them to be right.  I do think if we do decide to find out I will get a blank card and write something in it like "Dear Family, This thanksgiving one of the things I am thankful for is that in April Sada and I  will have a little_________!"  The tech can fill in brother or sister and seal it up.  At Thanksgiving we usually go around and have each family member say what they are thankful for.  I was thinking my 6 y.o could read it out loud to everyone.  Of course I'll have to video it!!  and I won't tell anyone about it so they won't know what to expect- especially not dd who is reading it.  She would go crazy waiting that week!   So that is the plan...if I do decide to find out.  But I still might wait!</p>
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<p>and fwiw....put me on the list for pink and sparkly..LOVE IT!  not as much for me but for sure on the girls!</p>
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I have been acccused op being stubborn, and looking back, I think a big part of not finding out for #3 was just to prove I could. </p>
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<p>I think having your dd read it at Thanksgiving could be really cute!</p>
 
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