Having a 1st Bday party. How to request non-plastic commercialized gifts?

I did this for 1st and 2nd birthdays.

1st birthday the invite said:

"Your presence is the only present required, but if you would like to bring something, your favourite children's book would be most welcome"

2nd birthday the invite said:

"no made in China plastic toys"

1st bday - We got tons of lovely kid's books and people enjoyed picking them out

2nd bday - We got no MIC plastic toys

Personally, I would put in big letters: PLEASE DO NOT BRING PRESENTS! You could even include a note that said something like "we are trying to downsize our child's toy stash, so if you'd really like to remember his birthday, please donate to XYZ charity in his name." (or something similar)

Can you imagine all the crap you will get from EIGHTY people? Wooden, plastic, or any other material. That's insane.

I agree with a pp about overwhelming the baby. We had 15 people here for ds's first birthday and he was a little overwhelmed. He's not bad in crowds, but the spotlight was on HIM and that is a lot to ask a baby to handle.

We included a note on the invites that asked people not to bring presents. I knew, however, that my mom and sister would want to bring something, and I felt completely comfortable giving them a few ideas of what ds would like.

And if people bring plastic? Donate it all to Goodwill.

One other idea - for ds's first birthday we asked people to bring a note or picture in lieu of a gift. We had something on the invite about creating a time capsule, so we got newspaper clippings, magazines, letters, pictures, etc. He will have SO much more fun opening that in 20 years than he will playing with a bunch of toys for 5 minutes.

It's so tough, I know!

Maybe you could put something like, "Looking for gift ideas? What [child's name] really needs is...(books, clothes, wooden toys, etc)."

Or you could create an online wishlist and put the link in your invitation.

In this day and age, I honestly think it's ok to be upfront about your preferences. Most people will be happy to oblige. Better to be honest and risk looking "tacky" than say nothing and secretly gripe once the plastic junk comes pouring in. It just makes the birthday parties stressful for years to come.

For those who don't oblige, hopefully they've included gift receipts . If not, send the unwanted toys off to the charity toy drives during the holidays.

I tried with dd and ds1 (now 20 and 17 years old) and people just took it as an invitation to tease me or "make sure the crazy hippie doesn't deprive those poor children of the fun of Disney and Power Rangers".

With ds2 I just said "No gifts, please. I already bought him everything he needs." and, surprisingly, people have always respected this. It may be only because of my age and experience, of course, and a 20-something first time mama might still get avalanched with plastic crap.

The alternative would be to take the plastic crap down to a consignment store, but you will get such a small percentage of money back compared to what your guests spent and it will take so much of your own time and energy that I personally wouldn't bother.

I love beautiful handmade toys too, but I think part of it is that families who only have wooden and other "natural" toys tend to choose very carefully and, since they are expensive, avoid the kind of clutter you see in "Toys R Us" families.

My fifteen month old got a wooden merry-go-round and a playsilk for the winter holidays and just some new kids' music for his birthday. He has a few wooden toys handed down from his siblings, but he really spends more time playing with ordinary household items (think tupperware, cookware, paperback books and cassette tapes) so he really does have all the toys he needs even without financial aid from friends and extended family.

I think you are having 80 people at a party for your baby. Obviously all of these 80 people do not know your child super well, spend hours and hours with your family, etc. I think asking them to go out of their way to buy a handmade, non MIC, wooden toy (read expensive, usually) is kind of rude. I for one would never show up to a party with one tiny wooden truck let's say like this one:
http://www.novanatural.com/s.nl/it.A...category=20890
But that tiny wooden truck costs $23, more like 30 bucks with shipping. I would be hard pressed to spend more than that on a child's bday gift. So you are sort of putting them in a tough situation.
Also, some of them may end up buying you wooden toys made in china (most wooden toys in any mainstream store are still MIC with the same lead paints and all that fun stuff). I think people who are close to you and come visit your child at your home see that you have plastic toys already and you will still come off as rude and uppity in the invitation.
I would ask for books. Your child will end up with a nice library. Books are easy and convienent to shop for and everyone has their favorites. For close family like grandparents who are going to buy your child more stuff, then you can hint to them about nice wooden toys you really want.

When we were going to have DS' 1st bday party (it ended up getting canceled, due to a frigging snow storm in freaking MARCH!), we just asked for no-gifts please, and if they really felt like they HAD to get something, to contribute money to his college fund.

Previously, I'd made it well known that we had/have a pretty strict "nothing made in China" rule when it comes to toys... and its been remarkably effective. We've only gotten a handful of the typical plastic crap from china and its mostly all gone to the goodwill shortly there after.

This is an idea that I plan to implement for my son's 2nd birthday party... But be warned, it will involve planned activities at the party.

The theme would be "A Handmade Birthday Party".
Make the invitations using card stock and embellish them with buttons, ribbons, fabric, etc.- you can keep them as simple or make them as extravagant as you want. Have some family help you put them together- that will add a unique personalization to each invitation!
$-saving tip: if card stock is too pricey for your budget, get a big package of construction paper.
For the party, plan a group gift activity for each invitee to contribute to- for example, you could go have a very large print made (at Kinkos or somewhere like that) of a photo of your child and have every guest at the party sign the picture. For years to come your child will enjoy reading all of the personal little notes and birthday wishes written on this picture.
$-saving tip: Instead of printing on poster board, have the picture printed on vinyl or even paper (you can have it laminated) to knock the price down.
Plan an additional individual-ish craft for each guest to create as a gift for your child- this would be your $ splurge. You could do something fun and silly for the kids (and heck, the adults too!) like have supplies set up at tables (pine cones, seashells, felt, buttons, glue, scissors, etc.) and have each person draw out of a hat to see what critter they have to create- this would be a gift handmade by the guests out of materials you have specifically chosen.
$-saving tip: you could keep it cheap and just have crayons and paper for everyone to draw a picture.

Another $-saving tip: instead of spending money buying pizza or what have you for all 80 of your guests, you can reconfigure your party budget a little. Go to your nearest Sam's or bulk superstore and purchase a gigantic tub (or 2, or 3) of cookie dough and simply serve iced tea and cookies to your guests.

A general birthday party note: kids love balloons- if you plan on entertaining several (or more) small children, buy a big bag of ballons and blow them all up for them to play with during the party! Cheap and surprisingly entertaining!

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I'd second this idea. We started telling everyone that we were avoiding plastic toys, among other things, when I was still pregnant and almost everyone has listened. We only have one person who has ever gotten us plastic toys. I think, for the most part, when you make your goals known to others they seem to respect them (in my experience that is-I know it's not true for everyone).

I don't think you can politely request anything like that. It violates every rule of etiquette and more to the point you are likely to make people feel bad/offended/hurt, etc.

You can register for some things you think she would like at the types of stores you like. People will often ask and you can refer them to the site and say you like those specific toys or toys like those.

Otherwise your option is to regift, sell, or give away things that don't meet your criteria.

And it is fine to talk about your concerns. My sister the "queen of plastic" buys me toys from magic cabin, oompa, and moolka, etsy, etc. because she knows that I really care about toys/country of origin/safety standards, etc. I keep a pretty active universal wishlist at amazon; great because I can choose toys from all over. I buy her kids clothes from her favorite store because I know that is what she wants.

You'll also find that as you transition to those sorts of toys people will figure it out. No one could look at my DS's toys and think plastic is wanted.