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I have been so stressed lately that really all this is is for me to vent and rethink a few things. We have SO much going on right now its ridiculous. We are trying to get pregnant and going through fertility treatments, trying to sell our house, bought new land, will be building a new house this summer, going through some financial counseling regarding our adoption loan, DH is thinking of changing jobs and hmmm what else is there? I really am regretting our decision to buy land and build this year.<br><br>
Yes the land is gorgeous and is in a great location but it will make my drive to work longer. Yes I would love to live there but right now we need to get our finances under control and I'm afraid that building is going to put us in a worse spot. I don't want our credit to drop, we sell our house, and then are unable to build or buy a home. And I do like the house we are in now. Besides paint there really is nothing wrong with it. We get along great with our neighbors, are within walking distance to two parks, and if we build we will be out in the country and I'm worried DD will get bored.<br><br>
My biggest peeve is that we do have a nice chunk of tax money and if we settled a few debts we could pay them off but it would hurt our credit. So we can't settle and now the money can't stretch as far as I would like.<br><br>
I really just want to focus on getting baby #2 and relax a little. We have been going non stop since college and I just need a little break. The last two years we were so tied up in the adoption and now I feel like building is going to be an even bigger issue time and stressful.<br><br>
But we are kinda stuck. Our house is already on the market, my parents are SO excited at the prospect of us moving closer to them, we have the plans done.... but I just can not get myself to pack stuff up. I really don't mind living in town and if I ever were to become a SAHM I would rather be in town than in the country. But moving would put us closer to DH's job.<br><br>
Ugh, what should I do? I just feel like I need a stress break and don't want to make any big mistakes. I will admit that I hate change so a huge part of this is the uncertainty of how things will turn out and all the bad what ifs. The good thing about building is the months until we move in we would be able to pay off a few small debts so we *may* not be as strapped, but its still the unknown.
 

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I'm sorry you're going through a stressful time. We're trying to pay off debts right now, too, and I know how disappointing it is when extra money can't stretch as far as you'd like it to. My DH is also adamant that we are going to buy some land to build on in the next couple of months, and we *really* can't afford to do so. I hate money!<br><br>
Anyway, didn't mean to hijack your thread, just wanted to let you know I know how you feel! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Did you already buy the land that it is closer to your parents? How much closer would you be?<br><br>
I understand the whole just want to take a break, while we don't own and are still renting we just finally got to a place where it feels like i am making headway<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
What if you talked with your mom and said all of the things you posted here? They proably don't realize how much stress you are having in your life. I would definitely make a list of pro and cons of both on paper ( i'm just really visual) and maybe that will help you decide.<br><br>
I have to say for me personally I would hate a longer commute, but I guess if i was building my "dream house" then maybe it would be okay<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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The thought of owning land in the country and building your own home is just <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">:<br><br>
Kids love country life, they wont be bored.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> I'm sorry you're going through this.<br><br>
Have you done these fertility treatments before? If not, you may not realize how much they're effecting you. I know the hormones totally threw me off, but I didn't really realize how much until after I was off of them (and done being pregnant and nursing.) Give yourself a break. Fertility treatments are sooooo stressful and that's a lot on your plate. Can you afford to keep the land but not build for a while? At least until after the baby comes?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s!
 

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oh honey<br><br>
i could have written your post back in 2005 -- we got maried, moved to a new state, had a 2nd wedding, bought 33 acres of land, started building, moved in to an unfinsihed home to finsh it ourselves and got pregant all in less that 18 months -- i got pregant living on sub-floors with no kitchen and Dh working 50 to 60 hours a week, and communting 10 to 12 on top of that.<br><br>
I feel your pain.<br><br>
here is how i did coupe -- woudl cope ---<br><br>
make some lists.....all the debts and the amountes....things to do by month or whatever....<br><br>
put it all away and take a weekend -- you and DH and O just have fun -- no working on house, no talking about land or house, no nothing......go to a park and toss out a balanet and veg all day.......<br><br>
One Monday start taking it a little at a time......discuss ONE list, or ONE item on a list......and get all your plans tought out, and wrtten out if need be ...... so you do not feel so much is in the air... YK?<br><br>
adn remember you have good freinds here who are here for you.<br><br>
if you want to talk about buysing land and building; or being a SAHM in teh middle on no where.......-- you know where to find me
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I hope everything works out for you.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Things have been going much better. I really think alot of it is the stress, emotions, and hormones with wanting to get pregnant or adopt again. Every now and then I get these horrible emotion surges that really have me puzzled because I am not one to cry at the drop of a hat or a Hallmark commercial, you know? We are going to still sell and build, but may possibly wait a little longer to build until we get a few things paid off. This month we should have my car paid off and one less $310 payment. Next month we are paying off a credit card so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Another things I learned is you really can't compare yourself to other families, yes I just learned this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> .<br><br>
While its easy to look at BIL and SIl who are having another baby (today) and just bought a great house and she stays at home. It just wont work. They use credit cards to pay bills and that is not somehting I am comfortable doing. I need to focus on what is best for MY family.<br><br>
Dh got another part time job so there will be more $ coming in. And I got a nice raise again. I think once we have a few more things paid off we can rest a little better. Int he meantime I am enjoying every minute of Olivia being a toddler and having my full attention.
 

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glad you are feeling better<br><br>
i am stilll here -- if you need to talk building -- ohhhhhhh you have NO IDEA of stress yet my dear --- or moving or anything.<br><br>
Aimee
 
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