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Having a rough time

575 Views 6 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  firstkid4me
Dd and I are sick right now, both of us, so we're both super cranky. I've been sick since Sunday night, so after 4 nights without much sleep, I'm on edge. Last night was the worst by far. Emily started getting sick on Tuesday after we noticed that she cut another tooth. Last night, I nursed her to sleep on the couch after a bath, like I do every night, but this time she wouldn't let me get up. She kept biting my breast (in fact, chewing it a few times while she was sleeping) and if I tried to redo the latch, she would just wake up and scream. I tried refusing her the breast towards midnight because they were getting quite tender and giving her a pacifier, but she just lay next to me whimpering until I let her have the breast again (which she promptly began chewing again!) I understand that she wanted comfort, but all I wanted was to be left alone, to not be touched, so that I could get some sleep and try to get better. I got 2 hours of sleep, if that, last night, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through today after 4 nights of little sleep. I'm part of a MOMS club, and we have a babysitting co-op, but none of the other ladies seem to want to help me out (I guess I understand, they don't want to risk their kids getting sick) and I have no family in the area. Right now, I'm so frustrated, I have Emily in a playpen, in her room, with her stuffed cat, blanket, a few pacifiers and soft music playing because I just can't bring myself to hold her right now, which is killing me in itself because I've been so against CIO. I'm sure this is confusing her so much, I feel like I'm being completely selfish, and like I'm a horrible mom. I blew up at dh this morning because he just didn't get it, Emily has been sick off and on since the end of February (first it was a sinus infection, then rotavirus, then a yeast infection, now a bad cold that could be turning into bronchitis) and he works 60+ hours a week, so I haven't had a break in I don't know how long. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm crying writing this because part of me is bracing myself for someone to call me a horrible mom, but I really need some advice. TIA
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Hugs to you Momma. You need to get better and I hope you do. I don't know what to tell you, but I wish I could help. I dropped out of my MOM's club because they really weren't helpful or my type of people. Where do you live? Any MDC mommas live near you?

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mama. it'll be ok. don't worry. i wish i was right there. i would come over and take Emily and let you rest all day and feed you and hug you.
youa re not a horrible mom, you are a wonderful mom. we all have been there and it is so so hard. don't worry, you will get better, she will get better and everything will be OK. sometimes a break is just what you have to do. please don't feel bad about it, you are doing the best you can and that is all anyboyd can do.
i hope you both feel better very very quickly.
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Hugs to you! I hope things are going better. Please don't beat yourself up over feeling completely DONE! You are doing the very best you can.
It's so hard to be alone with a wee one most of the time, and to have a dh who works too much and has little left to give back (in the way of taking the weight off of your shoulders I mean). You are definately NOT a bad mom. You know your limits. And it is better to what you are doing than to EXPLODE - don't you think. I'm not sure if you're a tv household (I am personally totally against tv, don't watch it myself at all. But I have little help, inlaws addicted who watch dd, sometimes I desperately need a break, and hey she's bi-lingual and it's been great for her language development), maybe she could watch a little? Something to do at least while you take a break? It will pass. You'll get better. She'll get better. Your tits will feel better (I know, that I have told my dd that she can't nurse right now because it's hurting mamae, or that she has to nurse the "right" way. She somehow seems to know what the "right" way is!)
Get better mama! Life is sh#t sometimes, but it will pass. In some cases it takes longer to pass than others, but yours will pass soon!
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Thanks so much for all of your help and support, it means so much. I went to the doctor today with Emily, and we both have the flu (thank God it wasn't something worse.) At least now I know how to treat the symptoms, and have found some medicine I can take while nursing (dh was trying to get me to take Nyquil.) We're slowly getting better, hopefully by Sunday we'll be completely better.
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