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(See explanation below) What option would you choose for Baby #2?

  • Adoption

    Votes: 10 38.5%
  • Egg Donation

    Votes: 1 3.8%
  • Do not have any more children

    Votes: 1 3.8%
  • Try for another child - "leave it up to a higher power"

    Votes: 5 19.2%
  • Try for a girl using Shettles method, etc

    Votes: 3 11.5%
  • Embryo selection procedure

    Votes: 4 15.4%
  • Other, please elaborate

    Votes: 2 7.7%
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2,085 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
(I know this probably belongs in the "Special Needs" forum, but I wanted a larger audience)

Here is the background: DS is getting tested this week for Fragile X syndrome. The more I research it, the more I believe this could be the explanation for all of his "issues." Most of the descriptions fit him to a T. While we wait for the approval for the test, I am doing a lot of thinking.

Fragile X is a defect on the X chromosome. Because moms always give an X to their children (dads give the Y for a boy, another X for a girl), this would be passed on by me. If this is what DS has, for future children, I have a 50/50 chance of passing it on to the next baby. 85% of boys have some sort of mental retardation (a big range from mild to severe) as well as autistic like symptoms - social, language, sensory, etc. Girls are affected much more mildly, but become carriers, and can pass it on to their children.

DS is a joy, and I believe he is in the mild category, if not in the 15% w/o mental retardation. I fully believe he will go on to live a "normal" life, with challenges that need to be overcome.

But what to do about future children? I grew up an only child and always felt lonely. I never wanted that for my children. I also want to be pregnant again, want to try to have that natural birth I wanted, I want to nurse again, etc etc.

My options/drawbacks to each: 1. Adoption - long, difficult, expensive. 2. Egg Donation - risky, expensive. 3. No more children - heartbreaking. 4. Trying for another child - lets face it, it's much cheaper since we have medical and full coverage for pregnancy, and I have very regular cycles, so not really a problem. But ethical? 5. Try specifically for a girl - less chance of passing on major problems, but she could be a carrier. 6. A procedure where they check the embryos for the defect and implant only "normal" embryos - expensive, risky, not fail proof.

So what would you do in this situation? Until the tests come back, I need to hear other opinions, and you mommas are always so wise. Thanks!
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